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What is it like for a child who is often beaten and abused by his parents and a child who is often doted on and pampered by his parents?
Children who are often hit are small-voiced, have no confidence and confidence, etc.
Children who are often coddled talk loud, overconfident, petite, etc.
Children who are often suppressed, scolded, beaten, and counted by their parents are very inferior, and their parents often scold him for not saying a word, because he feels that even if he does how well his parents will not understand him, all the grievances are held in the heart, unless they can't help it.
And the parents doting, pampered child is extremely confident, overconfident, often self-centered, slippery tongue, pit abduction, speak louder than anyone, parents scold him, he can immediately scold back, not afraid of quarreling with the family, selfish people will not hold things in their hearts and hold their own.
Obviously, these are the two extremes of family education, one is too inferior and extremely concerned about the feelings of others, and the other is overconfident and extremely self-centered.
But both repression and coddling of children are failures of homeschooling.
A kind of parents always suppress children will make children excessively inferior, because what children do can not get the recognition of parents, in the eyes of parents what children do is wrong, often scolded, punished, children in such education is easy to form a flattering personality, become only promises, no self-confidence, no confidence, timidity and fear of things.
And a kind of parents always doting on their children will make children overconfident, children do everything is right, even if they do wrong, there is no punishment, and even get praise, all the time the child is pampered very self- and arrogant, arrogant, no one in sight, etc.
Why is that? These two kinds of parents have not achieved a clear distinction between reward and punishment, and have gone to the extreme of family education to the end, either excessively scolding children or spoiling children excessively, and will not correctly educate and guide children at all. If the child does well, we should reward and encourage the child to continue to work hard, and if the child does something wrong, we should give corresponding punishment and guide the child to correct his mistake.
And the parents who often scold their children are like this, they don't care if the children do well or not, anyway, the children are wrong in their eyes, no matter whether they are right or wrong, as long as they don't look good, they will be punished, and even such parents don't even have their own views on right and wrong, and they can't figure out the basic right and wrong.
Parents who often pamper their children do not think that they are right or wrong, anyway, they think that their children are right, they treat their children like golden pineapples, even if the children make the biggest mistakes, they are not punished, and the result is to spoil the children.
These two children have very different personalities:
Children who are often scolded must be inferior, slowly develop a flattering personality, always eager for the understanding and recognition of others, and their ability to communicate social relations is relatively weak when they grow up, they dare not compete with others, they often doubt their own ability, and they always feel inferior.
The personality is very introverted or even withdrawn, what grievances are held in the heart is not easy to reveal, the face is thin, and it is often embarrassed to interact with people. Because I always care about other people's opinions and take care of other people's feelings, it is difficult to play in reality even if I have talent.
And children who are often pampered must be overconfident, always self-centered, arrogant, self-righteous, blind, look down on others, low-handed, pit abduction, small things can not see big things can not be done.
In front of people is very arrogant, do not put others in the eyes, feel that they are right, everyone is wrong, brutal and willful, arrogant, talking without the brain will not understand the feelings of others.
Write at the end
We parents educate their children not to often scold and not to spoil and coddle, to correctly educate and guide their children, to establish a correct outlook on life, values, right and wrong for children, in the process of educating children to reward and punish clearly. Of course, this also requires parents to have a correct view of right and wrong, distinguish between right and wrong, guide children to correct mistakes, and maintain positive optimism.