01
A father and son quarrel because the father opposes his son to leave his hometown and drift north. When he was emotionally, his father said what he said:
"I just want to keep you around."
The son did not understand, and immediately roared at his father:
"Why do you have to keep me by your side, I'll have a lot of time to spend with you later."
The year after his son left quietly, Grandma died, never to be seen for the last of him. Later, he has been regretting, regretting, and blaming himself, because he grew up with his grandmother, and his feelings are very deep, and his mother abandoned them at a very young age.
When I first made up my mind to go out and run, I also knew that my grandmother's health was not good, but I was eager to sprinkle the earth with my blood and failed to take this into account.
At the moment when his grandmother died, he suddenly understood his father's good intentions, and he always felt that there would be time in the future and opportunities in the future, but there was not much time left for his grandmother and time left for his father. The time calculated by each other is not the same, the father is so stubborn to keep himself by his side, is afraid that he is too late, is afraid that his grandmother is too late, but also afraid of his self-blame, remorse, guilt for a lifetime.
There is a very profound passage in "One Hundred Years of Solitude" that says:
"Parents are the curtains that separate us from death. You and death seem to be separated by something, there is no feeling, your parents are in the middle of you, until your parents pass away, you will face these things, otherwise the death you see is very abstract, you don't know. Relatives, friends, neighbors, generations, their death pressure on you is not so direct, parents are a curtain between you and death, blocking you, your closest people will affect your view of life and death. ”
Parents are there, we can't see the way back, parents are not there, we face death. So no matter what happens, the time calculated by parents is not the same as the time we calculate, because they can see death.
The famous actor Gao Yalin also talked about this point of view in a program:
"Until many years ago, when my father died suddenly, I suddenly understood that time is eternal, and my parents can't be with you every day, and I finally understood what my parents meant when they urged you, because he was in a hurry, he was afraid that he would be too late, not afraid that you would be too late." 」
Including parents for you to marry, urge you to have children, why should parents urge you to get married? Why are parents urging you to have children? In fact, the real reason is not necessarily what we understand, what we understand and think is only what we understand and think.
My parents never said it, and we couldn't say it, so we didn't know, as Gao Yalin said: It wasn't until my father died that I suddenly understood.
Watching you get married and have children and start a family is the most worrying thing in their hearts, and it is also to let go of your heart when they run on the eternal road of death.
02
Life is staged, and for many people who do not want to get married and do not want to have children, they may always wonder why their parents have to urge themselves to get married, and think about whether marriage is a necessity in life.
Have you ever thought that people at different ages have different views and understandings of life and everything.
Now that you are particularly unable to understand the views and urges of your parents, is it possible that when you reach the age of your parents, your ideas will suddenly change, and you will even become a person like your parents and treat your children.
What you can't understand, not necessarily wrong, maybe it's just that you don't have enough experience in the moment, you don't have enough state of mind, and you don't have such a deep understanding of many things.
So your parents urging you to get married may not be forcing your will, but just afraid that when you change your mind, everything will be too late, because time is not waiting for people, and there are no years to repeat.
The formation of a newborn family is the most in need of parental help, whether it is financial or life.
Is it possible, parents are just thinking, take advantage of the fact that they still have the ability to help your married life. If you wait until you are 40 years old to get married, then they want to help you, and they are powerless.
Life is a ring with a ring, one step can not keep up, step by step can not keep up.
Where are your parents forcing your life, is that your parents are afraid that you will regret it too late, and the things that have been passed down for thousands of years cannot be without certain truths and laws.
03
Life has no meaning, ordinary people can only find the meaning of life from marriage and family life, occasionally make you feel pain, occasionally make you feel determined, and occasionally make you full of hope.
Marriage and family life is ordinary and trivial, but there are also many real small blessings, which are warm to the soul.
You are young, you have friends and energy, and most importantly, you are curious about the world. So you feel that life is wonderful, and whether you have a partner or not does not affect the excitement of your life.
But one day when you are thirty or forty years old, you suddenly find that you have experienced all the interesting things in your life, and you are no longer curious about the world, and when life is only repetitive and old, that sense of panic will slowly swallow you up.
And marriage can greatly relieve you of loneliness.
Wash away the repetition, let life become unknown, let you know whether it is trouble or anger, these emotional changes are so important and precious in life. At least you still have emotions, and experiences of life, not just loneliness, and in the end your character is corrupted.
Man, it is best to step on the beat of life, do things at any age, get married when you should get married, and have children when you should have children.
Unless you can be particularly sure that you will not marry or have children for the rest of your life, no matter what happens, you will not change your concept. If you're not sure, or if marriage is within your plans, it's too late.
Of course, this is not to ask you to find someone to marry at random, but to advise you not to spend it meaninglessly, otherwise you will regret it when you drag your age.
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