Quanzhou Anshen Psychological Hospital: Experts believe that children's self-esteem mainly comes from two aspects.
First, parents give unconditional support and positive attention to their children from infancy to early childhood. In other words, love and support for a child does not vary depending on how the child behaves. This kind of love and support is not only superficial support and encouragement, but also from the heart to treat the child as a valuable person, let the child know that he or she appreciates this unique person, whether it is strengths or weaknesses. Specifically, believe in the child's own strength and do not blindly protect yourself. Like things I don't think my kids can do); don't compare kids to others. This includes not being compared to other specific children, not being bad, useless, timid, and content.
Children don't need to do everything, as long as they feel that they are competent in areas that they think are important, they can have an overall sense of self-esteem. Hart gave an example. There are two children with similar intelligence, one is good at sports and one is good at socializing, but one has strong self-esteem and one has weak self-esteem. It is precisely because a child with low self-esteem feels that areas he is not good at are important to him, and another child with high self-esteem feels that his field is not very important, so it will not affect his self-evaluation. Think again, where does the importance of a certain field to children come from? First, it internalizes the parent/teacher perspective. For example, when a parent/teacher talks to him every day about the importance of exams, he internalizes this view.
Second, invest your own time. This is easy to understand. The more you give for something, the more inclined you are to think it's important. Otherwise it is contradictory to spend too much time on unimportant things, which is called cognitive impairment in psychology. Third, it internalizes the views of the mass media, or the value orientation of mainstream society. For example, children see girls trying to lose weight and facelifts on TV every day, and they will feel that body shape and length are very important to them.
We know that modern society is already a pluralistic society, and children can develop well in the future, no matter what they are good at. Second, every child is different. It's not possible for everyone to be good at the same aspect. Usually, parents feel that their children's grades in a certain subject are not good, and they always emphasize the importance in front of their children, so that their children can go to cram classes on weekends. But the result of this practice is that the child thinks that I have paid so much for this subject, but I can't learn well and hurt my self-esteem. On the contrary, by supporting him to invest more in the things he likes and is good at, he will gain something, and the child's self-esteem will be improved, and he will have the confidence to face all difficulties and challenges.
Experts also mentioned four areas of children's self-esteem:
First of all, find out the cause of the child's inferiority and help the child determine what he is good at and what is more important.
Second, give your child emotional support.
Third, if the child can achieve the goal, he can improve his self-esteem and do many small things easily. It is better to do something challenging and difficult to make people feel more satisfied.
Fourth, challenge yourself. When faced with new problems, face them bravely instead of running away, and your self-esteem will be boosted.
In short, to help children establish important areas, adults and peers give children emotional support, encourage and motivate children to set goals, achieve goals, and help children face difficulties.