At home with kids, are you depressed?
With the birth of the first, second and third children, some ordinary families with "many children and many blessings" are bound to face the heavy responsibility of caring, raising and disciplining their children.
Unless there is an elderly person in the family to help with the children, or there is money and leisure to hire a live-in nanny, many young mothers will choose to stay at home and become a full-time mother until the child is three years old.
But bringing children at home is actually a more exhausting and tiring thing than going out to work.
01
There is a word called "no backing up with a baby".
It is that when you take care of your children at home, you need to take full responsibility, and no family relatives can help you with your side. Without a doubt, this is the most depressing.
After all, taking children is not like going to work, work is tired, encounters setbacks, or is scolded by leaders, isolated by colleagues, there is always time and space that can make you breathe, drink, smoke a cigarette, and adjust your mentality.
But what about with children?
For the first three months, don't think about sleeping.
Feeding every few hours, drinking water every few hours, turning over every few hours, no matter who brings the child, the mother is always the most tired. Not to mention that after the age of one, children begin to learn to climb, walk, run, jump, and have an adult to follow them all the time.
At this stage, it is often the husband who goes to work and the wife at home, and needs to devote all his energy to dealing with the "little wrongdoer" in front of him. If the family has two and three children in succession because of the policy, then two or three children stay at home, and only one mother takes care of them, which is actually far from enough.
Even if the child sleeps well, goes to bed at 10 o'clock at night, and gets up at 8 o'clock in the morning, then adults always have to prepare three meals a day for the child. However, you want to take advantage of the fresh vegetables in the morning and go to the market to buy vegetables, and the children at home can't rest assured.
It is difficult to dress the children, the left hand to hold the eldest child, the right hand to hold the second child, it may take an hour to buy a dish. And on the road, while carrying vegetables, while the spirit is highly nervous, I am afraid of leading two children between the traffic, accidentally bumping and touching.
When you get home to cook, you don't have to worry about cooking, and before the dishes are fried, the children are clamoring to watch TV and play with their mobile phones.
When the meal is brought to the table, the children may also have to drink a drink or throw chopsticks on the ground all the time.
You watch the children eat, take two bites of their own, and while washing the dishes, the two children start fighting again.
Therefore, the work of a stay-at-home mother is not something that everyone can do well.
02
Moreover, women take care of children, and the most tiring thing is that it is difficult to get the understanding of each other and their families.
Especially the kind of woman who wants to get the praise and approval of others for everything, when she is at home full-time, she gives everything with her heart, but it is inevitable that because of a momentary negligence, which leads to the child's fall, injury or illness, the family who originally did not have the time and willingness to take care of the child is likely to run over in a rage to accuse and complain.
As a result, although full-time mothers spend 200% of their thoughts and energy on taking care of their children, they are often prone to becoming the "punching bag" of their families because of a fall, an injury and an illness of their children.
Even a small thing in the eyes of others can easily make an adult who takes care of a child feel unbearable and irrepressible in an instant.
They will think:
I have given all my strength to take care of the children, why doesn't my family understand?
In this family, I am becoming more and more useless, and I feel more and more that I have no value and meaning of my existence;
With two children every day, I have to buy vegetables, cook, and do housework, why do I always make mistakes?
Therefore, the pain, depression and wandering that women accumulate in the process of bringing children under 3 years old are almost inevitable.
Even if a woman goes out to work and a man is at home alone with children and housework, his mood is certainly low, lost and depressed in the long run.
In the face of two or three preschool children, they endlessly and unscrupulously ask adults for companionship and love, although a full-time mother, in the "separation" from the past preferences, work and friends, full of thoughts from morning to night are considering how to take care of children's diet and living, but also consider and practice their education program, can not be described as hard, not tired.
But no matter how well you do it, people and family members can always pick out the faults.
03
From the age of 1 to 3, children from babbling to toddlers, every day there are new changes that make people happy. But for parents, every fall, injury and illness of a child is like a needle prick, and he will burst into tears if he is not careful.
Not to mention that sometimes, when others and their families make an understatement, blaming themselves for their children's grievances, that moment is the most emotional collapse for stay-at-home mothers.
Who doesn't want to take care of a child and get hurt and hurt? But the injury caused by accidents is always so sudden.
Maybe the mother is stir-frying and the child falls in the living room;
Maybe the mother is boiling water, and the child has to rush to drink it;
Maybe the mother worked hard to keep the milk, and the child drank it but got upset.
All in all, it is not easy to bring children, and it is even more difficult for moms with children all day.
For full-time mothers, in addition to taking care of their children, they need to correct their mentality and gradually establish and establish a dignified personality that belongs to themselves; for husbands and families, they must understand and understand the difficulty of taking children, in order to try to comfort and care for full-time mothers who are in the "depression period with children".
After all, mothers who need to raise two or even three children today have to pay three or four times as much time and energy as one-child families, if they cause mistakes and omissions due to lack of sleep, distraction and lack of skills.
The most unbearable and unbearable thing is the blame and complaints of the family.