"Teacher T, a classmate in the class wrote a marriage certificate to Xiangxiang" "Ah? "I was amazed!" Hahaha, I think it's interesting! Xiangxiang's mother said and smiled. I didn't know how to answer for a while, "Xiangxiang's mother, it seems that Xiangxiang is very popular in the class!" I said jokingly and awkwardly. It seems that children already have the consciousness of liking and appreciating others!
As a homeroom teacher, I was quite happy to hear that children had such a phenomenon of expressing appreciation and liking. There are definitely many people who will think: your class children are "early love"! Are you still happy? How did you become a mother? Really irresponsible! Don't hurry up and stop and guide. I am very happy, the children through the "marriage certificate", "love letters" and other ways are actually expressing his love for his classmates? Isn't it appreciating the merits of others? Isn't that exactly what we want to see? Children appreciate each other, love each other, and make progress together! But I am also distressed, yes, the parents' "early love" view is also worth pondering.
Is the child really an early love? My guess is that the "yes, they have at least such a tendency" is undoubted in the minds of parents. And the answer to this question in my heart is no. "How can you fall in love early?" How old are they? They just like the child, think he has a good academic performance, think he is often praised by the teacher, think she is cute, think she is very kind... I appreciate the good in them! ”
"Then let them disclose their love!" My first reaction, this is a good thing, I want to have a class meeting called "Write you a love letter!" "Murphy's Law", there is a passage that says that the more you worry about what will happen or what you are afraid of happening, the more it will happen. Parents are afraid that their children will have love thoughts, and if they are more afraid, the easier things will happen, so they will stop rumors from being public. Since the children write it privately, it means that the child may feel that it is still very embarrassed to express his appreciation and love for others, but he will tell the mother to know, indicating that the child thinks it is still interesting! Then we will be open in the class, do not sneak, appreciate the advantages of the classmates to let the whole class know, I want to conduct a class meeting to justify the children's "simple love" feelings.
In this way, I was proud and felt that my idea was correct, and even a little creative. I couldn't wait to tell the other teachers what I thought. "Your idea is very good, the children are expressing their likes, they will not cower, but love is also to express like, what is your purpose in doing so?" "Open love"? After doing this, can parents understand your approach, and do they feel that children do not have "early love"? Just express appreciation? ”
When I got that feedback, I immediately stopped the momentum of the class meeting, yes, as if I didn't understand what my most fundamental purpose was. I thought over and over again, is my purpose to get children to openly express their likes in "love letters"? Is it to rationalize the expression of "love letters"? This raises deeper thinking: knowing that they are not in love is just a way of expressing appreciation, but what is the difference between what we call "early love" and the love expressed by children using "love letters"?
Tracing back to the source, what is "love"? Falling in love is a manifestation of two people's mutual admiration for each other. Modern definition is two people based on certain conditions and the ideal of life in love together, in their own hearts to form the most sincere admiration for each other, and desire each other to become their lifelong partner the strongest, most stable, most dedicated feelings. For talking about "love", there is a very important condition, that is, the exclusive feelings of two people are a stable single behavior of one-on-one.
Children are only in the first and second grades, in the initial stages of learning to appreciate others, they appreciate that they may be a group of excellent performers, there are people of the same sex and the opposite sex, you can judge that they are not in love" in the eyes of our adults. Therefore, one-to-many expressions negate the most important condition for them to fall in love. Then change the original plan, so that the children will change the theme of the class meeting to "write you a love letter" as if it is closer to my purpose.
Publicly guiding children to boldly express their appreciation and love feelings is to solve the problem of children's non-expression, but they are still shrouded in the atmosphere of "love". It is important for children to express their love, and how to properly guide children to express their love is more important. The question of why this is the case lies in our expression. Our blind use of adult words such as "love letter" and "love" to describe such a phenomenon will only instill the concept of love into the child, which will invisibly increase the child's curiosity about love. The unwarranted subjective speculation is afraid that it will slowly become an objective situation, and we will become the driving force behind it. Yes, children just don't use expressions of their own age stages. We also do not have empathy, just use the perspective of adults to describe this phenomenon, young children should use their age-appropriate way to express their appreciation and liking for others?
If parents directly regard this expression as "early love" and stereotypically regard it as a "flood beast" that will affect children's learning and growth, it is secretive, and children will boldly express their likes, and boldly express their appreciation feelings will be suppressed, which will affect the child's later expression of emotion and healthy growth. Like to express, adults have adult expressions of feelings, there are related words and behaviors about love; children also have their own words and ways to express like and appreciation. If the two are intermingled and used, it is easy for children to be pulled into the adult world prematurely, which is easy to cause misunderstanding. Children independently use words and methods that are appropriate for their age to express love and appreciation, which is the appropriate way to express.