When I was a child, one of the children's favorite things to do during the New Year's Holiday was to "go to relatives" with their parents.
When you come to a relative's house, you can not only experience a strong family and festive atmosphere, but also delicious snacks, fun toys waiting for the children, of course, there are also "red packets" that are swollen bags, which is the gift that children are most looking forward to.
Time flies, and the children of that year have grown up, have their own families, and become parents and mothers.
However, the traditional activity of "going to relatives" has undergone a "change of taste", and many parents have found that their children are increasingly disliked to go to relatives' homes, and some are very resistant, which makes parents very incomprehensible.
In fact, parents do not have to blame their children excessively, because this situation has become more and more common, and even a new term has emerged - "the phenomenon of breaking off relatives", which means that relatives have less and less contact between relatives for various reasons, and the relationship has become more and more indifferent, and some relatives have finally stopped coming and going at all.
Relatives' boring comparison makes the child's heart "very hurt"
No, one netizen shared his experience and announced that he would never again be aggrieved to go to relatives in the future.
This netizen's academic performance from childhood is not very good, his parents did not criticize him much, but when he visits relatives during the New Year's Holiday, "grades" will become a thing that makes him extremely embarrassed.
He could never forget how his relatives used a flaunting tone to mention what kind of high scores his children had taken and what kind of famous schools they would meet in the future.
Relatives will also look at him with sympathetic eyes, pretending to comfort him: "We must work harder in the future, after all, not everyone has such a good talent."
Listening to these demeaning words, he was very angry and sad in his heart, but he could not hinder the face of his parents, nor could he have a face attack, he could only keep a face and not say a word, so his relatives commented on him behind his back: "Even if he can't study well, he will not be treated in the world, and he will not be polite to the elders at all."
Such a thing is almost repeated every year, even if this netizen has long graduated from college and participated in the work, it is still inevitable that he will become a "tool person" used by relatives to compare.
This made him have a strong shadow on the New Year's Festival, often making excuses to avoid such occasions, and usually did not take the initiative to contact relatives.
A relative set up a family group, and he was pulled into the group by his parents, but he was always in a "diving" state and never said a word.
He originally thought that he was a "strange person" who was incompatible with others, but after seeing the "phenomenon of breaking off relatives" that was popular on the Internet, he suddenly felt a lot more relaxed...
The reason why the child resists "going to relatives" is not incomprehensible
After seeing the experience of this netizen, I believe that everyone will have some déjà vu feelings. Today's "walking relatives" does have less human feelings, but there are many more hypocritical politeness and annoying comparisons.
The sense of distance between relatives is also getting stronger and stronger, resulting in not experiencing warmth and happiness after visiting relatives and friends, but adding a lot of psychological burdens for no reason.
As for the children's resistance to "going to relatives", it is actually understandable:
1. Relatives because of the work relationship distributed in the south of the sea, usually there is basically no opportunity to meet and contact, for children is far less than the classmates around them, friends are kind, want to let the children meet and relatives warm up, it is certainly unrealistic.
2. Some relatives lack empathy when communicating, do not consider the child's feelings, often mention some problems that sting the child's heart, or make the child feel "very hurt" by comparing and degrading the child's academic performance, personality, talent, etc.
3. There are also some relatives who have the problem of relying on the old and selling the old, are accustomed to educating their children from on high, or give their children some "life advice" with a tough attitude, which will also make children have a strong dislike.
4. In addition, some families pay special attention to etiquette and titles during the New Year's Festival, such as asking children to kowtow when they press the old age money, asking children to toast and say blessings to their elders one by one when eating, etc. All kinds of cumbersome "routines" will also make children feel physically and mentally exhausted, and there is no interest in participating.
Today's children are exposed to the most advanced Internet culture, their personalities are becoming more and more distinct, the requirements for psychological boundaries are getting higher and higher, the traditional and old-fashioned mode of getting along with relatives will naturally be abandoned by them, and the emergence of the "phenomenon of breaking off relatives" is also a natural thing.
Tong Dad has something to say: For children who have a "phenomenon of breaking off relatives", parents do not have to be like a great enemy, they may wish to ask the reasons why the child is unwilling to interact with relatives, and do not force the child to do what he is reluctant to do.
Whether it is the New Year's Holiday, or the usual gathering with relatives and friends, parents should consider the child's feelings, do not randomly compare, do not belittle the child, if there are relatives trying to do so, parents must remember to "support" the child, reduce his embarrassment and unhappiness.