Throughout the ages, how many dear brothers and sisters have turned against each other for love. But after experiencing the painful struggle of emotion and reason, the violent collision of traditional ethics and morality and modern marriage and love orientation, the sisters finally deduced an unexpected ending under the guidance of family affection...
Twenty years ago, in a private house on the outskirts of Beijing, my sister's sister told me about the whole process.
The short-cut leather coat bears witness to the sisters' affection
My name is Liu Qi, and I am now the boss of a pharmaceutical import and export company in Beijing. A year ago, my sister Liu Ying and I both divorced and remarried. Neither of us was willing to mention it to anyone else, because the man I remarried was my brother-in-law, and my sister chose my ex-husband in the second marriage. I often think to myself what a sensational gimmick such a dramatic plot would be if it were placed in a film or television drama. But looking back on every step we have taken in the past year, my heart is full of too much bitterness.
My family is in a county-level city, and my parents are ordinary grassroots cadres, only my sister and I have two daughters. My sister and I have had a very good relationship since childhood. I was born in 1968 and am 3 years older than my sister.
When I grew up, my sister and I went to college successively, and we often had a feeling of dependence on each other. In 1992, I graduated from medical university and was assigned to the endocrinology department of a hospital as an outpatient doctor. At that time, I felt that there were two people I could consider getting married: one was the same class leader when I was in college, and the other was Chen Weiyuan, who graduated from the Chinese Department of Liaoda University and worked as a teacher at a staff university. The sister thinks that Chen Weiyuan is good, while the other one is too "floating". I took my sister's advice and became the wife of a university teacher.
In 1994, her sister also graduated from the School of Finance and Economics and worked as an accountant in the transformer factory. In the dormitory where she lived, someone had been hanged before, and everyone in the dormitory was looking for another place to live, leaving her sister alone. Chen Weiyuan and I did not have our own house after marriage, and we have been living with our widowed and sick mother-in-law, but thinking of the deep sisterhood, I still consulted with my husband and took my sister to live with me.
It didn't take long for me to get pregnant and I didn't expect to have gestational diabetes diagnosed. When I was more than 7 months pregnant, protein appeared in the urine, and my legs were so puffy that it was a pit when I pressed it. I suspect that diabetes and kidney disease will progress to uremia. The more I thought about it, the more frightened I became, and I felt the despair in the depths of the terminally ill patients I had treated.
During the two days of the in-depth examination, I couldn't eat a single bite. My sister was in a hurry, she pulled my shoulder hair and said a word that I would never forget in my life: "Sister, even if it is really uremia, what is terrible, I can completely change my kidney for you!" ”
Thankfully, it was fine. After I gave birth to my son Doudou, my sister took the initiative to serve me during the month, like a thoughtful and thoughtful little mother-in-law.
At that time, our sisters were particularly fond of leather clothes, but the money was too small to buy. One day I found out that a leather trench coat I had already photographed in the ZTE commercial building was 30% off, and I quickly bought it back. My sister liked it so much she saw it and tried it several times in one night. I saw that she couldn't let go of her look, so I said I would wear it for you. The sister hastened to explain that she tried to play, which she didn't like, and that she had worn it longer.
The next day, I quietly took the leather clothes to the commercial building to change into a shorter one, who knows there is no stock. I gritted my teeth and took it to the tailor to cut it according to my sister's size. Take it home and wear it for my sister, she smacked her lips for me, but finally accepted my heart.
The man who was "lifeless" in her sister's eyes became the scenery in her sister's eyes
I was discouraged as a doctor. The old-fashioned and dull system in the hospital also made me lose hope. In 1996, I resigned and went to the sea to work as a medical representative in a Sino-US joint venture pharmaceutical import and export company in the development zone. So when my sister told me she was pregnant and about to marry Hedong, I was taken aback. I have never seen He Dong, let alone understood, only that he is a driver, and his culture is not very high, but I believe in my sister's eyesight.
After marriage, my sister is still the same as before, often with a big belly to come back to help me take care of Doudou and my mother-in-law. That's when my disagreements with Chen Weiyuan began.
I am a person who is easy to hang on his face, but he is the kind of person who is deeper in the city government and pays attention to everything, which makes us attract each other when we are in love, but I did not expect that after marriage, it became an obstacle to mutual communication. I later understood that Chen Weiyuan had actually always hoped that I could live according to the model he designed, like most ordinary little women in the north, not with such a strong atmosphere, and not to let him feel depressed as a husband. But he didn't say where I knew! At first, I still coaxed him with a smile on my face, but as the days went on, I also became cold. He became more indifferent as a result, and sometimes I was too tired to stand outside or met some unreasonable customers, and I came home and wanted to complain to him, but as soon as I saw his dismissive expression, it was like hitting a wall of ice, and all the desires to talk bounced back.
Marriage disappointed me, and I gradually had plans to start my own company. Seeing that my sister gave birth to a daughter and was very idle by her in-laws, I let her go to learn computers so that I could start a business with me in the future. Who knew that she was not interested in business, so she entered the adult university where Chen Weiyuan taught to take Chinese, saying that she wanted to improve her quality in an all-round way. After listening to Chen Weiyuan give a few lectures on "Western aesthetics", my sister admired his talent. When the two were at home, there was also a ride-to-end chat, and my hostess became a superfluous person. But I didn't go to my heart, not so much about sisterhood as about my disdain for Chen Weiyuan.
On March 26, 1998, I was assigned by the company to Shenzhen to negotiate product agency projects with Danish commercial representatives. Many domestic competitors who want to obtain the agency right to this product are also flocking here. Previously, the company had made it clear that if I won this crucial project, I would be responsible for it in the future.
On the morning of the 28th, just when the negotiation entered the bone eye, Chen Weiyuan called a long-distance phone and said that my mother-in-law was dying and asked me to return to Shenyang as soon as possible. My mother-in-law has always been very good to me, and I have also had feelings for her old man, and she was critically ill several times in those years, and I found the best doctor to rescue her. But this trip to Shenzhen was very important, and my husband's phone call made me feel very embarrassed. I tried to call my sister, and when I learned that my mother-in-law was still conscious, I didn't start the journey immediately.
On the afternoon of the 29th, I signed the cooperation document with the other party, and did not wait to participate in the subsequent celebration cocktail party, and rushed back to Shenyang without stopping, at this time, Chen Weiyuan's phone call was only postponed by one day. Who knows that God is not complete, when I rushed to the hospital, my mother-in-law had just walked for half an hour! Although during the entire funeral period, after I ran forward and ran, I spent a huge amount of money to buy the best cemetery for my mother-in-law in Tianshan Fuyuan, Chen Weiyuan still refused to say a word to me. I know, he hates me. But can I be blamed for all this? I'm not desperately trying to work hard for this home, am I easy? Half a year has passed, and our relationship has not thawed in the slightest.
The snow was particularly heavy that winter, and one night it was already 12 midnight after entertaining customers, and I drove home alone in a newly bought Buick sedan, who knew that when I walked to a dark and narrow alley, the front wheel fell into the snow pit, the car stopped, and I couldn't hit it. The streets were empty, and the low bushes next to them were blown like ghosts by the wind. I was very scared in my heart, and I took out my mobile phone to call home, who expected Chen Weiyuan to only say one sentence: "You think of your own way, I and Doudou have slept", and hung up the phone. These words were like a thousand arrows piercing my heart, and I cried out in half a moment.
After crying for half a day, I remembered that my brother-in-law He Dong was driving, so I quickly called him. In the middle of the night, less than half an hour later, he drove to help me drag the car home. The moment the car started, I fell on the steering wheel and cried again.
After this night, I no longer had any hope for Chen Weiyuan, but for the sake of the child, I did not think of breaking up.
That amorous night forged the reorganization of the two marriages
At the beginning of 1999, I finally registered my own company, specializing in diabetic medical supplies that were in great demand and development potential at that time. Although I have hired many graduates of medical or pharmaceutical universities, I still feel that I lack a person who can help me take care of my daily affairs. He Dong, the brother-in-law who was the captain of a certain unit's team at the time, was "transported" to me by his sister.
At first, I didn't have much hope for this "coachman" brother-in-law, who was ridiculed by my sister as "as good as a blank piece of paper", but He Dong's performance soon impressed me, and he not only handled the company's internal affairs in an orderly manner, but also properly coordinated foreign relations such as industry and commerce, taxation, and banking to alleviate a lot of pressure on me. What touched me even more was that He Dong had been coming to the company for such a long time, no one knew that he was a relative of mine, and it was obvious that he had never revealed his identity in front of the company's employees. I felt that his qualities were not as low as my sister had suggested.
He Dong is the same age as me, and he doesn't like to talk much, but occasionally he will expose a mouthful of a man's rare white teeth on his black face, so that you can feel the fullness of life and the fierceness of emotion. I think in my bones, maybe we are a kind of person. I gradually got used to asking every morning as soon as I arrived at the company: "What about He Dong?" ”
At the end of June 2000, I took He Dong and a salesman on a business trip to Shanghai. After handing over the goods, the salesman asked me to take a leave of absence to go back to my hometown in Nanjing, and I let him go. Since I made an appointment with the boss of a local company to have dinner together in the evening to talk about a business, in order to cope with the drinking, I took twice as many anti-diabetic tablets beforehand. I didn't want to cancel the date temporarily, it was scheduled to be the next day, I went shopping alone on Huaihai Road, shopped so much that I forgot to eat. I didn't expect that the hypoglycemic reaction to come so suddenly and intensely, my face was as white as paper, my body was trembling, and the beads of sweat kept falling. When I reluctantly returned to the hotel with my newly purchased clothes and walked into He Dong's room, I fell to the ground and could not say a word.
He Dong saw this, hurriedly carried me to the bed, and then rushed out of the room to get some white sugar, diluted into sugar water and poured it on me. Then, without hesitation, he helped me untie the tight collar and adjust my breathing. After doing all this, he looked at me nervously until I slowly got better and returned to normal. Afterwards, I asked him how he could understand this kind of first aid, and He Dong was embarrassed to say that he was reading medical books in this regard. My heart trembled, and the tears were about to fall. My intuition told me that he must have learned of my illness from his sister before he remembered to read those books. When I was alone, I thought that I had long been ignored, but I didn't expect that warmth was at hand, and my heart was wet for no reason.
That night, for the first time, we talked so much. I found this man so miserable, he said that no matter how hard he tried, he always failed to meet his wife's expectations, and he could always feel her pain and contempt.
The next day's business went exceptionally well. The boss of Shanghai knew that the people of the northeast could drink, and sure enough, he prepared a lot of wine. He Dong spelled out all the wine for me, a little drunk. The Shanghai boss thought we were husband and wife, and from time to time he teased a sentence, and Neither He Dong nor I clarified. When we watched the night view in Pudong, we were all a little unsympathetic, and his arm was always around me...
In the past few years, I thought that I had opened up, for the sake of the children, this kind of marriage that does not die and does not live may as well be maintained. As a young and beautiful woman with a career foundation, I have no shortage of suitors around me, and my sister has also intimately advised me to find a man to talk to as a sustenance, but I am not moved. Didn't expect me to fall in love with him!
On the eve of leaving Shanghai, in the luxurious rooms of the four-star hotel, the two of us forgot about morality for a while and instinctively let ourselves burn.
When I left Shanghai by flight the next day, I deliberately sat separately from He Dong to get everything back on track. But the closer the plane got to Shenyang, the heavier my heart sank, and due to the strong air currents encountered on the way, the plane was a bit bumpy, and I subconsciously hoped that something would happen and let everything stop.
Back in Shenyang, in the face of the reality that became clear again, he and I seemed to want to forget that memory, but when he asked me for instructions on a certain business and was ready to leave, our eyes suddenly met, and we understood each other, and in our hearts, in fact, we both wanted to be together.
I avoided my sister consciously or unconsciously. My sister also unusually did not come to see me for a long time.
I had a hunch that my sister might already know about it. The thought that she would hate me for this and never forgive me made me feel bad. I found that as long as I thought of my sister, the unforgettable plot between me and He Dong would suddenly recede like a tide, leaving only the pieces of our sisters' affection from childhood to adulthood, like a galloping arrow, straight to my heart. But what should come will always come. He Dong had an accident while driving a delivery, but fortunately he was not seriously injured. In order to avoid my sister, I deliberately chose a very late time to go to the hospital to see him, and I did not expect to run into my sister when I came out. She didn't say a word and dragged me into the bar on the side of the road.
When a cup of dry red was almost finished, my sister spoke: "Sister, do you remember the two sweaters that my father bought back when he was a child when he went to Dalian on a business trip?" I nodded. At that time, Dad gave me the blue one and the red one to my sister. But neither of us liked the color of our sweaters, but liked each other's ones, afraid that my father would not let me, so we smiled and privately changed them. The sister continued: "Sister, I have a sentence in my heart, I have always wanted to say to you, 'Sisters are like flesh and bones, men are like clothes' At any time, neither of us should hurt flesh and bones just for a 'dress'! In fact, He Dong and your business, as soon as you come back, I will see it, the reason why I can't bear not to say it is to give you a period of time to understand, is it the same as me, really like the other party's 'clothes', and it is really appropriate to wear... "My mind is blank, I don't understand what my sister is saying."
A month later, her sister and He Dong divorced calmly
On October 31, 2000, Chen Weiyuan and I signed our names on the divorce agreement. I took the initiative to give my sister and Chen Weiyuan 300,000 yuan in cash, and my sister calmly accepted it.
There's always something in life that we once shared that made the four of us feel embarrassed when we re-confronted, including our parents and friends. But either way, we can't go back. At this time, my company got the domestic first-level agency right of a product from the American manufacturer, and I took the opportunity to move to Beijing. At the end of 2000, I took my son Doudou and He Dong to buy a new home in Beijing's Haidian District.
After that, I began to lose sleep all night, thinking about the past, thinking about my sister, thinking about what she said. I really want to know if my sister will feel as happy and comfortable as she did when she was a child wearing the "clothes" that she has changed...
This awkward marriage change brought me thoughts
This modern version of the "sisters are easy to marry" story is breathtaking. But this is a rare case in real life. People are not grass and trees, not even numbers, can be easily reassembled, as people often say: "Out of a door, into a door, where is it so easy?" ”。
When it comes to life after the reorganization of marriage, Liu Qi does not regret it. She said: "I really appreciate my sister because I feel that this result is more of a fulfillment for me. To tell the truth, a long time after completing the divorce procedures with Chen Weiyuan, He Dong and I did not dare to be open together, always wondering whether the people around us knew about this matter, how to see, it was really torturous! To tell the truth, I would not have given up such a good career foundation in Shenyang and fled to Beijing without this. My sister and I still talk on the phone as often as before, but we only call our mobile phones and do not want to call home, for fear that others will pick up and cause embarrassment. I think this can only be temporary, after all, my relationship with my sister will not be broken, and there are two children sandwiched in it. ”
Since He Dong went to Kunming to talk about business, the author did not contact him personally. It is understood that some people once felt that He Dong's "betrayal of his wife and daughter" was a sight for the wealth of "aunt" Liu Qi, and Liu Ying also expressed this worry in the dialogue between the sisters. Therefore, He Dong took the initiative to apply for a premarital property notarization with Liu Qi.
In Shenyang, the author had a phone conversation with Chen Weiyuan. Although it has been a year since the incident, he still seems to have some difficulties in mentioning it. I briefed him on what I had learned, and Chen Weiyuan admitted that it was "basically true," but immediately added: "The same thing is always different when it is said by different people." It is said that men become bad when they have money, and I think women are even more so. I can do more housework, or I can take the children alone and wait for the elderly, but I can't tolerate Liu Qi not having me in her eyes. She often didn't come home later, and I knew that there might be someone outside, but I didn't expect that she would be shameless enough to get mixed up with her brother-in-law. I proposed the divorce. What I regret most now is that I was soft-hearted at that time and agreed to give The custody of Doudou to Liu Qi. How could a woman of her kind take care of and raise children well? ”
Because Chen Weiyuan always avoided talking about his relationship with Liu Ying, when the author met with Liu Ying, he asked her straight away what she thought of marrying her "brother-in-law". She said very calmly: "I basically have no discomfort with this matter, like psychological disorders and the like, not to say how fashionable and alternative I am in this concept, but after experiencing a failed marriage, I understand that men and women can perceive each other's physical appearance, personality, and habits before marriage, but only when they really reach the step of marriage will they find that the previous understanding only touches the skin, and the disharmony in the bones is fatal." Unfortunately, my sister and I were in this situation at the same time. Our generation, more than any previous generation, is more focused on the quality and content of marriage, knowing that there are many options beyond sticking to it and being empty. Even if my sister and He Dong don't happen later, our sister's marriage will not last long, and it is only a matter of time before we break up. Originally, the choice of our two sisters did not necessarily have to be locked between these two men, but since we knew that that person was suitable for us, and other choices were still uncertain, why should we give up just because of the saliva of irrelevant bystanders? During the Spring Festival, because my sister did not come back, Wei Yuan and I took our parents from their hometown to Shenyang for the New Year, but we did not expect that the old man's heart was awkward, and he only stayed for one day and went back. With pressure like this and other troubles, I think all four of us were mentally prepared when we first made the decision. ”
Perhaps because of the long time, a few people in the know reacted indifferently, saying that it was their own business to divorce and who they married; it did not matter how the shoes were changed, as long as they felt that they fit. But they all believe that the four of them can get to this point today, it is indeed very "not easy", but also very "courageous".
The author believes that this marriage change example should first affirm that this is a kind of progress, at least a progress in concept and mentality. After all, the sisters' 'easy marriage' is legal. As early as 1980, the "Marriage Law" promulgated by the mainland clearly stipulated that citizens have the right to freedom of marriage, and the new "Marriage Law" further reflects the dual attributes of freedom to marry and freedom to divorce. Moreover, with the gradual deepening of cultural concepts in the 21st century, people's views on marriage have shifted from blindness in the past to scientificity, from focusing on social evaluation to focusing on personal feelings, and people's emotional choices and marriage concepts are becoming increasingly diversified. This incident epitomizes this. In addition, the restraint and rational attitude of the four parties in handling the contradiction can also be remarkable. As for whether the sister and brother-in-law are doing right or wrong, they can only be judged within the moral framework.