Xiao Gui has one thing that she has always remembered, and she feels that she will never forget that feeling of embarrassment and shame for the rest of her life.
Xiao Gui usually loves to be clean, but also very industrious and polite girls, in front of relatives, neighbors are obedient girls, see people you know will be kind greetings, generous and sensible and cute, often praised.
But when Xiao Gui was five years old, because of the family's happy events, many relatives came to the house as guests, and naturally received a lot of praise in the morning.
But because of eating too much fruit, and the nap is too long, Xiao Gui rare bedwetting, mother knows, in front of so many relatives, said that Xiao Gui did not come out, then adults will not be able to hold back, but also bedwetting ...
Xiao Gui recalled that at that time, her mind was really blank, she only knew that she heard her relatives laughing, and she had to endure not to cry, she felt that even if it had been more than twenty years, Xiao Gui said that she would never forget the embarrassment of that time in her life.
And since then, Xiao Gui is like a changed person, seeing relatives no longer greeted warmly, like to stay alone in the room, when many people are there, others can feel Xiao Gui's unnatural, everyone says that Xiao Gui has changed, and the reason why Xiao Gui has changed is only because of her mother's dislike that day.
Every child is an angel, the angel's heart is fragile and delicate, the child in the process of growing up, making mistakes is certainly unavoidable, parents have also been children, but in the discovery of children make mistakes or can not help but get angry.
Many parents will criticize and scold children directly in public anytime and anywhere, although parents intend to teach their children that it is not right to do so, hoping that the children are good, but the actual effect may be far from the expected.
Parents are the closest educators of children on the road to growth, and they are also the children's first teachers, but children will inevitably be naughty and naughty when they are young.
And the mistakes made by children will always make people unable to suppress their inner anger, and sometimes parents can't help but scold their children in public.
Although I feel regret it in my heart afterwards, I have already done this, and the harm caused to the child by such an approach has no way to be recovered.
Parents should remember these points, children make mistakes is inevitable, but there are many ways to educate children, parents should avoid the following ways to educate children, because the harm to children is permanent.
The children were scolded in public
I believe that many people will encounter some bear children when visiting the supermarket, pestering their parents in the supermarket to buy something that they like.
If you don't buy it, you will keep crying, and even lie on the ground and can't get up, and the average parent will generally have the following two solutions in the face of such a situation.
The first is that you can only compromise with the child and buy the child what they like, but this practice will make the child's temper worse and worse, and it is also invisibly encouraging the child's arrogance.
For a long time, the child will think that when he encounters a problem, he can solve it by throwing a tantrum at the parents.
The second situation is that the parents resolutely refuse to buy, and are angry with the child, and then directly reprimand the child in front of so many people, which is different from the "effect" formed by the previous practice, which will seriously damage the child's self-esteem.
Speaking of heart to heart, adults love face, then children also want face, children feel that they are scolded in front of so many people, it is a very humiliating thing, children will also feel shy.
Of course, the worst case caused by this is that the child's face is getting thicker and thicker, and how to criticize education in the future will not listen to you.
Can't solve the problem in time
Children make mistakes can not be avoided, but when educating children, do not hold the mentality of big things and small things, and ultimately can not solve the problem, children will feel that it does not matter if parents do not care about things in the future.
In the education must be the right thing is not right, once the mistake occurs, parents should timely educate the child, do not wait until the child repeatedly makes the same mistake, or causes a relatively large mistake, and then turn the new account and the old account together to tell the child.
This will not only not achieve the effect of criticizing education for children, but will make children feel that their parents are a problem-avoiding and very casual person.
Of course, the solution to the problem should also be solved at one time, do not always have endless nagging, we will feel very annoyed when we meet a nagging person in life, and the child is the same psychology.
If you always talk about those trivial things, it will not convince the child, will not achieve the effect of education, and even stimulate the child's rebellious psychology.
Children are taught with abusive language
Parents are the child's first teacher, the parent's words and deeds are very important, every behavior will become the child's imitation object, especially in the education of children should pay more attention to the use of words.
Many parents in the education of children, a thrill or angry, may say some words that can not be on the table, these words are not only ugly, but also damage the child's self-esteem, slowly the child will become unconfident, or learn to say these words like a parent.
If you often hear a few words: "I'm better off raising you than raising a pig, and raising a pig can still sell for money, you know that you are angry with me!" ”
"You're so old and not so out of the ordinary, you look at other people...", "How are you so stupid, so you can't do it at all", and so on, don't tell the children anymore!
There may be some parents who are more impatient, but no matter what, they must tell themselves that when the child makes a mistake, you must suppress your emotions, and you can take a few deep breaths when scolding the child for money, and remember that this insulting word is very hurtful to self-esteem.
And the child's mind is more delicate, if the number of times is not much, or the child does not remember it is okay, if the child is the same thing, it will make the child feel that his existence has no meaning and value, and over time, the child will feel very inferior, and it will also affect the child's future interaction with people.
The right way to educate should be to tell the child what the consequences of making a mistake are when the child is about to make a mistake, and when the child accidentally makes a mistake outside.
The first thing to do is to ease the child and his own emotions, wait to return home or in a place where there are few people, and then talk to the child slowly, the effect of this communication solution is definitely much better!