Enter the elevator and press the tenth floor. A beautiful woman came up to close the door, and she pressed the 23456789 floor. I said, "Excuse me, what are you?" She smiled thiefly

Enter the elevator and press the tenth floor. A beautiful woman came up to close the door, and she pressed the 23456789 floor. I said, "Excuse me, what are you?" She smiled thiefly, "I can't let you guess how many floors I'm going to." Wait for her to come down from the seventh floor! I looked at her slim back and sighed: Very beautiful girl is not high IQ!

2. Graduated from Tsinghua University, won awards in science and technology competitions, and is very proud in his heart. This day I went to Microsoft for an interview and saw the personnel manager fiddling with the shredder. The manager asked me, "Xiao Zhang, will you use this thing?" Thinking that I was really stupid, I didn't say a word, took the information in the manager's hand, and stuffed it into the shredder. At this time, the manager said: "This is the plan I just wrote, you copy 5 copies and send them to my office." ”

3. My girlfriend is a big beauty, just chatted with me for more than two hours, and my husband asked me what I was talking about. I said that she and her husband had been married for more than two years and had a bad relationship, and that they wanted to divorce and felt sorry for the two children. Not divorcing myself and suffering, wasting my youth, asking me for my opinion. Husband: Hey, long and beautiful is a lot of troubles, even like you, there will not be so many troubles.

4. One of the programmers in our company has been secretly having a crush on our department head, and once the programmer was drunk at a company party and confessed to the department head. In the end, he was rejected, so the programmer confessed to the supervisor every time he was drunk. The supervisor rejected the programmer 99 times, and the brother confessed a hundred times: "I love you, promise me okay?" The supervisor was moved to tears: "I promised you!" The programmer "snapped" a big mouth and slapped it over, saying, "It's so hard for me to make a whole mess." ”

5. When I was a child, I had a very good relationship with my cousin, and one day he invited me to eat his delicious fried instant noodles. After he cooked it, he asked me, brother, do you want to come with some peppers? Unexpectedly, my aunt suddenly appeared, holding a 47-point test paper in her hand, rushing to the kitchen in a rage, beating up all over the place, scolding while scolding, scolding and beating, and beating the miserable one. His mother finished beating and left, and his brother also cried into tears. My cousin cried and said to me, brother, do you want chili peppers or not...

6. The sister-in-law spent 3899 yuan to bleach a strand of white hair, her husband thought it was a sudden white hair, while she was asleep and kindly cut it. The sister-in-law woke up and jumped violently, arguing with her husband endlessly, and her husband wanted to fight. Only to hear the sister-in-law shouting: "Do you try it?" Her husband stood up, pointed at her sister-in-law and shouted, "Tell you, you are the grandfather!" "Everyone thinks her husband is going to do it in order to prove that it is the grandfathers!" At this time, her husband suddenly said: "Women who don't fix it are pure masters!" ”

7. Married to a girlfriend who has been in love for 8 years, we chose Mardev for our honeymoon trip. It was late after getting off the plane, so we found a hotel to check in. After arriving at the room, the wife looked wary and said: "If there is a bugging device in the room, our words will be heard by outsiders, how embarrassing." "I looked around, found a button-sized metal object under the window, and then twisted it down and threw it away. The next day, the hotel lobby manager asked, "How did the two of you rest last night?" I nodded, "Very nice, your hotel is good." The lobby manager said, "The pair downstairs is really unlucky, the chandelier on the ceiling fell off last night!" ”

8. After work, I went to the wet market to buy beef and took it to my father-in-law's house as a guest. After drinking and eating, my wife's sister and my father-in-law played mahjong for a while. Accidentally won 500 yuan for my wife and sister, and she looked at me with some unkindness. When my wife and I got home, she called her to say that when she played mahjong, I rubbed her thigh with my foot! Life is full of routines, don't say it, I have to go across the road to avoid the wind...

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #