Essay: Notes on how to be home
What is home? Peace of mind is home.
When I was a child, the world was very small, and I thought that when I went to the county town, I saw the whole world. Naively, there are only two places in the world: the county seat and the county seat outside.
The home at that time, very clearly, was the house that accompanied day and night.
I went to college and went to some places to really feel that the world was big. The distance from home has become a little farther, but it is still in the heart; if you close your eyes, you can also feel a hot and yellowing lamp, guiding the way home.
At that time, the home was like an open circle, and the light source of the circle strongly continued to emit energy outward.
After working, stepping into various kinds of society, the home began to slowly blur: the things on the heart were piled up more and more, and the light cast from the direction of the home gradually disappeared into the shadows of the layers. Only when he was tired and breathing, he could see a few traces of light and shadow coming.
Later, the home seems to be a closed small circle, and the light inside the ring cannot be penetrated, and the people outside the ring cannot touch it.
After drifting for a long time in the "outside world" that I had longed for, I began to forget how warm the light that had once shone on my heart was. Just against the heavy fog, continue to walk forward, exploring the light sources that may exist nearby. Between the searches and searches, they went farther and farther, and finally disappeared into the fog.
Today's home has shrunk to a small point, so small that it is impossible to even distinguish its specific location; it has also been given a more affectionate name - hometown.
What is home? No home away from home. Mistakenly thinking that the fireflies in the field are looking for light, mistakenly thinking of the flashlight on the side of the road as the light to be found. But the fireflies are extinguished after all, and the flashlight is always extinguished.
The old light source has faded, and the new light source has not been found. Home, disappeared.
Now, there are only two places left in the world: home and beyond home.
When you are overwhelmed, you still remember the warmth of the past. Outside of my hometown, I tried to reproduce a movable light like home. It is self-generating, endlessly alive; it is not obscured by all things, it is not measured by orientation.
No more looking for it, no more looking; forgetting the light in the memory that cannot be retrieved, and letting go of the light that cannot be captured in the unknown. Home, inadvertently, grows in his heart: everywhere there is a hometown, everywhere is home.
