What do you think is the most terrifying thing about marriage? It is not even an exaggeration to say that the most terrible thing about marriage is not splitting legs and cheating, and what defeats our marital relationship is not whether the two people love or not love, but the trivialities of a chicken feather and the indifference to details.
Sanmao said: "Love will not last long if it does not fall into the real life of dressing, eating, sleeping, and counting money." ”
So what kind of person the other person is, whether we can always accept him, love him does not depend on what kind of person we are in love, or what kind of person you think he is, and the days will make us see a lot of things.
Yao Wen is divorced, and the husband and wife have not cheated, have no domestic violence, and even do not have too many quarrels. A woman is a gentle woman who is not willing to argue with people and has a good personality, while a man is also an honest person recognized by everyone, who takes care of the family and works seriously. It is reasonable to say that they should be a very happy couple, but in the end they still did not come to the end of marriage.
Women work far from home and spend at least an hour a day on traffic alone. The men's work places are close and only 10 minutes on foot. And the man always comes home and waits for the woman to come back to cook and clean up the housework, because he said, "That's all a woman's business."
Full of machismo, so no matter how early he comes home, how close to home, he always comes home and waits for his wife to come in to cook for himself, and after eating, he always waits for his wife to wash the dishes and housework, and the garbage he throws away with his hands must also be cleaned up by women. Repeating mechanical days makes women feel depressed and aggrieved.
The light bulb at home is broken for a week, and the woman has to tell him every time before going to work, "The husband will change the electric cannon in the hallway", but it is still dark after work, and at this moment the man is concentrating on playing games with enthusiasm, interacting with teammates "Isn't it letting you change the light bulb?" The man's head did not return but said perfunctorily, "Tomorrow tomorrow, tomorrow for you"
Finally, I dragged the ladder myself, trembled and changed into a light bulb, and at the moment when the light was lit, I watched the whole room light up, which was very similar to her marriage, only by lighting herself, could I get rid of the darkness, countless things similar to light bulbs in life, I can't count on men, men will not care.
Even if the woman is sick and feverish to go to drip, he will still call to ask when to come back to cook, the woman says that she is sick and drip, and the man is very dismissive and says "then you hurry, haven't eaten yet" Back home, the man is still addicted to the game as usual, waiting for the woman's dinner. The woman barely made dinner with an ice pack, put the meal on the table, saw the mess at home, washed the dirty clothes, dragged the floor, and then returned to the table, the meal was all gone, the man had no comfort and care, but said "How many times have you told you, less salt"
"Let's get a divorce," said the woman, "you have a convulsion, just because I didn't leave you food?" The woman didn't want to say a word more, and the man thought he was generous at the moment and said, "Count me wrong, the next time I buy you 10 pounds of shrimp to make up for it, isn't it something to eat?"
The woman left decisively, saying that she did not want to live such a day any longer.
Eating, hygiene, sleeping and changing light bulbs, every little thing sounds like a trivial matter, and even some men may think that women are more flirtatious, but who can appreciate the helplessness and pain under the role of women.
There are too many seemingly small things in life, once repeated mechanically, it is impossible to become a small thing, coupled with our physical illness or work fatigue, who can appreciate the burden of a houseworker.
Trivial housework, cooking, and not leaving meals are all small things, but what is revealed is the indifference in the bones of men and the disrespect and lack of concern for women.
Living a life is a small thing, we find value from boredom, but also from trivial things to feel bitter pleasure, the key to these needs are worthy of our persistence, worthy of our pay and sacrifice. The most terrible thing about marriage is the indifference of the attitude of details, ignoring the other party's efforts, and taking all the good for granted.
All things in this world are equal exchanges, including feelings, accepting each other like parents like nannies to take care of their own food and living, not helping, not grateful, always accepting calmly, but forgetting to ask themselves a "by what"
What husband and wife need most is to care about everything that the other party does, people can be selfish, they can also take, but the only fear is that unilateral demand is not excessive and can not see their own problems, for this, men and women are the same, no one will be like blood relatives as permanently tolerate your selfish and indifferent behavior.
As a person, you can't be self-contemptuous, but don't take yourself too seriously, and despise everything the other party does. Because of the performance of the attitude of the details of the marriage, what stands out is the feelings, but also the quality and character of the person.