Speaking is an art, not only for social and sophisticated, but also for families. As a child's parent, we must not only do a good job in the education of our children, but also form a good family atmosphere for our children and help them form a correct outlook on life.
Throughout the ages, many parents have caused the shadow of their children because of "saying the wrong thing", so that children cannot get rid of the shadow of inferiority from an early age. Parents a word, children have been inferior for 30 years. Therefore, in the process of communicating with their children, parents should pay special attention to the fact that a sentence can be both successful and bad, and there is a zipper on the mouth to avoid hurting the child.
Because he was counted down by his father at the school gate before, after his classmates heard it, they laughed at him in the class, leaving a shadow in his son's heart.
The father wanted to send him to school again, but the son refused to live or die.
After the argument, the son cried urgently: "You exposed me short in front of my classmates, which made me very faceless." If I were at your place of work and said you were drinking until you threw up, wouldn't you feel ashamed too? ”
The son's torture from the soul made the father gagged for a while.
Netizens watched the video and left messages:
"Once, when I was counting down to an exam, my mother showed the exam paper to my relatives, and the mocking look made me feel self-conscious."
"Parents always feel that their children are small and can't remember how to talk about them, but in fact, they say in public that I am stupid and that it hurts me more than beating me."
Bi Shumin once said: "The growth of a child is first of all to confirm his own existence from the pupils of his parents. ”
If even the most trusted parents open their mouths and close their mouths to expose their children's shortcomings, then the children will not be able to feel respected from their parents' education.
Without respect, all education equals zero.
First, good parents know how to "stop loss in time"
Many parents think that they are the elders of their children, and often blurt out what they should not say, causing shadows in their children's lives and bringing a lot of trouble to their children. Good parents are good at grasping the measure of speech, responsible for what is said, and will not easily hurt their children.
The couple next door to me is 30 years old, the child is also in kindergarten, and unlike other children, their children are more confident and lively, and enthusiastic. One day, I went to the next door as a guest and found that the family of three had a very unique communication mode, for example, when the father taught the child to recognize words, the child could not read because of lack of concentration, but the father did not reprimand the child, although it was very impatient, but did not scold the child, but used other ways to attract attention.
This move makes me very impressed, a family, if in the process of communication, can do "timely stop loss", then how can the child be inferior? Children's psychological education is not only through the school, but also through the family, if parents because of bad mood, impatient and bad words to the child, a small sentence caused by the child's serious psychological shadow, then what is the meaning of education? Therefore, every parent should always remember that the meaning of communication is never blurted out, but a "timely stop loss" for children.
Second, saying the wrong thing leads to inferiority complex
Many parents speak without measure, resulting in them often saying the wrong thing, which has a great impact on their children. Saying the wrong thing is actually a very common communication problem, if the parents and children in the process of communication, without consideration to blurt out, then the child will take the words in mind, constantly self-doubt, coupled with the child's own lack of self-expression ability, it is easy to have internal friction, inferiority psychology, the child's future growth is harmful and no benefit.
Colleague Xiao Wang is a person with no mouth, once, Xiao Wang checked the homework for the child, found the child a final report card, the red cross on it, Xiao Wang saw that he was very angry, thinking that the child must be the result of the child's non-effort, so he blurted out: "So stupid and not hard, it will certainly not be anything in the future!" "When the child heard it, he thought he was really stupid, and since then, he has been in a slump, and his grades have never gone up again."
Xiao Wang's unintentional words made the child's original upward space fall directly to the bottom and never got up again. In fact, the words of parents are the stepping stones for children's success, if children are blindly hit and denied by parents in the process of growing up, then they will definitely be in the shadow of inferiority in the future, and it is difficult to have a head start. Therefore, in the process of communicating with their children, parents should repeatedly confirm whether the next words will hurt the child himself, whether it will cause a sense of crisis to the child, and do not try to quickly speak for a while, resulting in a child tragedy.
Third, don't joke about your child's weaknesses
Every child is a combination of good and bad, and what parents have to do is to distinguish between the child's strengths and weaknesses, and do not easily joke about the child's weaknesses.
Next door Xiao Li took the child to buy clothes, walked through many stores, and finally found a good clothing store, but the child was slightly fat, many clothes did not have the right size, watching the child wear clothes hard, Xiao Li couldn't help but laugh: "How are you fat like a pig." After saying that, he laughed with the salesman next to him, and the child felt very ashamed, wanted to cry and couldn't cry, felt that he was fat is also a mistake, and became more and more inferior.
In fact, the child's weakness is often the most familiar to parents, sometimes the child is also very distressed about their own weakness, if the parents can not comfort the child in time, but stand on the side to joke about the child, joke about the child's weakness, then the child will be self-esteem frustrated, more unconfident in themselves. Therefore, parents, as the most familiar person for their children, should take more care of their children's self-esteem, and should not use jokes to make fun of their children's weaknesses, because if they do not pay attention, jokes will also make children feel inferior for a long time.
Fourth, keep the bottom line of the child
Although the child is young, but the self-esteem is not small, if the parents can not maintain the child's self-esteem, but blindly suppress and scold, trampling on the child's self-esteem, then the child will also give the parents a more negative response, increase the gap between the two sides of communication. A word from a parent will sometimes break the child's last line of defense, so that the child has no place to look at himself, and the inferiority will accompany him for a lifetime in the future.
Lao Zhang is a strict father, in the eyes of outsiders, he has always been strict with his son, and his son is also a good child who only promises. On this day, on the way home from school to pick up his son, Lao Zhang did not lead his son when crossing the road, when a fast motorcycle passed by, almost hit his son, passers-by pinched a handful of sweat, fortunately okay.
But at this time, Lao Zhang shouted angrily to his son, "Don't you have eyes!" Would such a fast car hide? When the son heard his father's scolding, he felt very wronged, especially in front of everyone, and the son felt even more self-conscious, so he ignored his father's shouts and ran directly back home to cry. In the face of his son's unusual behavior, Lao Zhang was also very puzzled, why is this happening?
In fact, many parents will say hurtful words to their children due to excessive anxiety in the face of emergency, although it is for the good of their children, but they do not consider their children's feelings at all. Just like Lao Zhang, although worried about the safety of the child, but after all, it is in public, Lao Zhang directly shouted to his son, seriously hit the child's self-esteem, not only did not play an educational role, but let the child's psychology be hurt, bringing a lot of impact to the child, therefore, parents should guard the bottom line of the child's heart, guard the child's self-esteem.
5. Summary
Communication is an indispensable homework for parents and children, in the process of children's growth, parents need to strictly grasp the measure of speaking, do not speak quickly, do not try to enjoy a moment, take the child's self-esteem as a bet, resulting in children's lifelong inferiority, which is also unfavorable for future development.
Scientific research shows that 70% of parents cannot grasp the measure of speaking during communication, and 10% of parents do not pay attention to their children's feelings. It can be seen that there are very few parents who are good at grasping the proportions of speech.
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