Children are naughty, many parents will complain that their children are not well-behaved, often make mistakes, reasoning and not listening, envy those well-behaved and sensible children, but we can find such a phenomenon.
Children who are not well-behaved when they are young, naughty children, grow up and tend to be more cheerful, but those children who are very well-behaved and sensible from childhood are prone to psychological problems when they grow up, why is this so?
Colleague Xiaomei told her about her childhood, Xiaomei's parents have a very serious tendency to favor sons over daughters, after Xiaomei, her mother gave birth to a boy, because the family conditions are not good, When she was a child, Xiaomei heard more than once that her mother and father wanted to give her to others to raise.
Hearing what her parents said, Xiaomei became very sensible, taking her brother for her parents, doing housework, cooking, understanding to the point of heartache, because she was afraid of being abandoned by her parents, she had no home, she also kept thinking, why her parents did not like her, to give her away, when she came into contact with others in the future, she would also worry about others not liking her, do everything carefully, try to let others, sometimes others an unconscious move, she can think more than half a day.
Now that Xiaomei is married, she is very sensitive and inferior at home, afraid that her mother-in-law and father-in-law will not like her, and her hard-won happiness will be gone.
Why do many children become well-behaved and sensible?
Like the cat abandonment effect, many cats are abandoned by their owners and are found back, they will become very well-behaved and sensible, and the same is true for young children, because they are insecure and afraid of being abandoned by their parents.
They want to be liked and recognized by their parents, so they become well-behaved and sensible, do everything according to their parents' wishes, hide their true selves, please their parents and become the child they want, and this state will only make them more and more depressed.
They do not have the nature of children, they will observe the color, have different ages of maturity, with the requirements of their parents to bind themselves, the parents' high requirements make them more and more stressed, but they dare not tell their parents because they want to maintain their own beautiful image, parents do not know the child's heart, will not help the child to ease, constantly put pressure on the child.
The child has been suppressing himself, this string will break sooner or later, and anything can become the last straw that crushes the camel, so the child is particularly prone to some psychological problems, such as depression.
Ma Sichun, the queen of the Golden Horse Shadow, has been the image of a well-behaved woman since she was a child, in order to meet the requirements of her parents, she has been suppressing herself, and her parents have not found that her daughter's psychology has had problems, and eventually she has become a flattering personality, in order not to trouble others to wronged herself, and even suffered from depression, and her figure is constantly blessed.
What should parents do?
Respect the nature of the child, when the child is not well-behaved, give the child a reason, let the child understand where he is wrong, allow the child to be unruly sometimes, do not be too demanding of the child, do not compare your own child with other people's children.
Each child is an independent individual, not to mention because the child is not obedient to scold the child, tell the child: I do not want you, you are too bad, if the number of scolding is too much, the child may lose a sense of security, the emergence of a flattering personality, in order to please the parents to suppress themselves, resulting in more serious psychological problems.
If the child belongs to the category of well-behaved and sensible, it is also necessary to pay more attention to the child's psychology, communicate with the child more, let the child get the love of the parents, do not do less because the child is sensible, do not fulfill the responsibility of the parents, no matter how sensible the child, also need the companionship of the parents, the love of the parents warms them, do not let the sensible children disappointed.
Parents should give their children a sense of security, let the child feel warm and satisfied, rather than blindly let the child become better, more sensible, sometimes the child is naughty is also a good thing, in fact, parents sometimes think, really want their children to become a well-behaved and sensible person in the future, has been suppressing their own people? Parents may not want to see these, so parents should pay attention to it, and must pay attention when educating their children, and some educational methods are not advisable.