Marriage, ostensibly two people living together, is actually two people creating and sharing value together.
Each of our "ideological concepts" are valuable, such as husband and wife getting along, having a business, instilling my concepts in you, changing me with your ideas and concepts, the value of the two people will accumulate together, the thinking will develop synchronously, and a situation of "equal strength" will also be formed.
There are also "equivalent exchanges", such as "half a pound and eight two" marriages, so that we can return to a marriage that is close to equality, and it is difficult to be happy if you lose your balance of love.
And speaking harshly is essentially a threat, but also a manifestation of inner powerlessness, and we do not know the correct way and method of love.
This way of saying harsh words is that we followed the bad model of the original family when we were young, but in fact, this method is very ineffective.
The really effective way is to learn the appropriate communication methods and methods.
The best thing about marriage is that my hobbies have become your preferences, and your habits have become my habits, walking hand in hand with each other.
May you find someone who loves you, is in harmony with your three views, and is accustomed to being in harmony. After experiencing a little sweetness, then the chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea in the marriage came to the surface and boiled into a pot of pickles, which made us sad and anxious.
The next case is like this, I hope it will help you:
Female, 36 years old, married for 10 years, this time is not long, short is not short, but also experienced a lot of sweetness, but also experienced a lot of pain, but also experienced the lover's cheating.
Although the other party chose to return to the family, in this lady's heart, it has always been a thorn that cannot be pulled out.
Later, there were often quarrels, and the other party also tried his best to maintain, but he could not pass this hurdle, and then he was firmly trapped by the shackles of life.
Be a good housewife, conscientiously take good care of the family, but do not know why, always feel uncomfortable, fingers will shake, and then come to seek the help of a counselor.
In fact, in our lives, it is a little sweet, the rest are bran throat dishes, and this bran throat dish also depends on whether you can swallow it yourself and continue to enjoy the sweetness.
Or just spit it out, these are your own choices.
Learn the following points to control your sweetness and make the chaff dish nowhere to hide.
1, important days must be cherished
Treat most of the laws of life as a disease, please give reasonable suggestions, run together, love is a verb to know. There are still most people please do not sit in the right seat, life is originally stumbling, there are joys and sorrows, thirty years later, who remembers how much?
So we must cherish important days and cherish the time when two people are together, because some time cannot be made up.
Increase the happiness and passion of marriage, so that marriage will last.
2, do not sleep in separate beds for a long time
Sleeping in separate beds for a long time will make a person accustomed to sleeping alone, which is very harmful to marriage.
After having children, many couples sleep in separate beds, or work apart from each other, and it is a long time to live apart.
Unconsciously, the feelings of two people will be affected, not like husband and wife, more like partners, lack of love intimacy and happiness.
So it is also very important to increase the time spent together, so that the marriage will be more long-lasting.
3. Know how to seek common ground and save small differences
After marriage, the personalities of two people are different, so the living habits, personalities, hobbies, and tempers of living together are different.
If you have been picky, you must let the other party become in line with your own standards, so it is likely to make the other party dissatisfied and disgusted, know how to seek the same, save small differences is the way to deal with things, but also the way to maintain marriage.
Marriage is not so much fate as it is a misunderstanding, everything starts from scratch in strangeness, everything ends in understanding and familiarity.
Marriages that lose understanding will eventually end in ruthlessness and injustice, so having a good marriage is the result of mutual understanding of each other, when sweet is husband and wife, when bitter is brother.
The two walk together, not on the road together, but on a small road, leaning over each other and moving forward.
If marriage is an expectation, it must be a release of each other!
I'm Chongyang, we'll see you next time
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