All along, we have been emphasizing the problem of children's sex education in China, although it has achieved great results, but it is still in a "road obstacle and long" situation. With regard to the aspect of children's sex education, there are still many issues that need to be repeatedly emphasized.
01 13 years old still sleep in bed, the deformed mother-child relationship ends the evil consequences
To tell a real case, some people may not believe it. But in order to protect privacy, I will use a pseudonym here to tell you. A friend of mine, temporarily called her Ms. Chen, she gave birth to a son, probably an only child relationship, so extremely precious, when the child was 13 years old, did not sleep with his son, sometimes the family is still crowded in a bed.
Her husband is also helpless, but stubborn but the wife, sometimes she prefers to sleep alone, and over time it becomes a situation where the husband sleeps alone, and the wife sleeps with her son, and the family does not feel that there is any problem with this, because in their view, their son is still just a child.
What is even more unacceptable is that her son is 13 years old and habitually touches his mother's stomach and breasts when he sleeps at night. This was said by her husband while drinking, when many friends told him that he could not continue like this, and that he was not a child of several years old, but a 13-year-old child, and if it was like this again, it would be very bad.
No, when her son was 15 years old, when he was in junior high school, he always liked to joke with girls, and specifically targeted girls' breasts, and from time to time he would follow girls into the women's toilet. At that time, because of this problem, the parents of the other party all came to the school to report, but her son did not think so, felt that this was very normal, and was unwilling to bow his head and apologize, and finally did not go to school.
In fact, it is not surprising to face such a result, but it feels very normal, because the "deformed" relationship with the mother from an early age can easily lead to such an ending, which is why it has always emphasized the correct sexual concept of guiding children from an early age.
02 The price of boundless affection is too great
In China, there has always been an old saying called "children avoid mothers" and "daughters avoid fathers", which is actually the same truth. However, some parents have not done this, mainly because in the process of growing up, parents have always adhered to the view that "the child is still young", resulting in no awareness of "avoidance".
As everyone knows, if you have been holding this "no boundary" way of getting along, it is easy to sow the seeds of bad consequences for the growth of children, and the ultimate price may be to let the children pay the bill.
Fortunately, many young parents now attach great importance to this aspect, just like before Beckham kissed his daughter in public, which was criticized by many netizens, believing that the child has grown up and is no longer suitable for mouth-to-mouth kissing.
Zhang Liang also said before in the child's parenting style that he will not use this way to contact his daughter after he grows up, even if the child wants to kiss, he will only kiss the forehead, more often than not, it is replaced by a hug and encouragement. Because he feels that he must establish a "gender awareness" for the child, let the child know that even the father can not do some things to you, others can not do, so as to enhance the child's sense of self-protection.
Many parents do not realize the importance of their children having a strong sense of self-protection, in this regard, these years have been strengthened a lot, ten years ago is still more serious. Many children who have been violated, in fact, many of them are because they do not understand self-protection, and do not understand that in fact, some behaviors have violated themselves, resulting in their own harm.
Therefore, as parents, we must build the first walls of this aspect for our children. If the parents themselves do not care about this aspect, and there is no "sense of boundaries" between themselves and their children, then it will also blur the awareness of boundaries between children and others.
In order to form a child's "sense of boundaries", parents must show something in action, such as changing clothes, going to the toilet and other things must be closed and locked, and cannot be carried out in front of the child. After the child grows up, the mother does not bathe the son, the father can not bathe the daughter, the family should distinguish the responsibilities, the need for the father and mother to participate in the child's upbringing, no one can be the treasurer.
At the same time, parents should continue to strengthen their children's awareness of self-protection and boundaries, and let children understand this aspect more comprehensively through books, animations and other means. Because only by doing and saying at the same time can children be more impressed and understand this aspect more thoroughly.
Conclusion: The enlightenment teacher of children's sex education should be parents, after all, parents accompany them for the longest time, and all aspects of life are also in close contact, so parents need to play the role of good teachers. Otherwise, if the parents' guidance is wrong, then it will be difficult for the child to move forward on the right track.