The netizen letter said:
When I was 29 years old, I divorced my ex-husband, and the reason for the divorce was that my ex-husband was not in his business, knew how to play mahjong every day, and was accompanied by domestic violence against me (he thought I shouldn't be lazy and lazy to do this thing to him). When I divorced, I wanted to fight for custody of the children, but my ex-husband's parents wouldn't let me, so when I divorced my ex-husband, I almost got out of the house.
Six months later, I met my husband, who was 25 years older than me, and was willing to marry him because he gave me meticulous care during my most difficult time, so in this relationship, it was more touching than loving. I thought that I could give my husband a blank head and grow old in this relationship, but when I was 38 years old, the 8th year of marriage with my husband, I found that I didn't even have the mood to get along with my husband, and the biggest obstacle between us was the age difference.
Now, I am full of thoughts about divorce, and I am embarrassed to say it, so that I am not eating well, sleeping well, and my mental state is very poor.
I need to admit that during the 8 years I lived with my husband, my husband was really good to me, but I never felt happy. In this life, we need to make love at the same time as making a living, so in this relationship, my feeling is: I don't starve to death, but there is no motivation to love. Obviously, this is not the life I aspire to.
In fact, I don't need much, that is, I hope that the pillow person can be the same age, there can be not much money between the two sides (can solve the problem of food and clothing), in fact, the husband is not a particularly rich person, at best, there is a house, a stable income (now with a pension).
I am particularly conflicted now: if I divorce fiercely, I will feel sorry for my husband; if I do not divorce, I will not be happy. Standing at the crossroads of life, I don't know how to choose. One thing is for sure: I don't have a donkey ride right now, and I can't do that.
My husband was kind to me, but I didn't love him. If I'm going to get a divorce, how do I talk about it?
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
Once, you and your ex-husband should not have a big problem at the emotional level, how come you have a big disagreement at the level of life attitude, resulting in frequent quarrels between you, and even accompanied by his domestic violence against you, so your relationship collapsed.
At this time, you should be in a state of renting a house, during which time you failed to win custody of your children and had to suffer the pain of divorce, which caused you to be particularly depressed during that time. In this case, your husband has given good emotional comfort and life care, and the key is that he has also proposed to you to associate. At this time, you just think he is a good person and you are confused with him.
When you first got together, he was still relatively young (55 years old), so when you were in close contact, there was not much obstacle, you would feel that you were quite compatible, but in recent years, he has more than enough heart and insufficient strength in loving you as he grows older, and as a result, you will feel that you only have the accompaniment of chai rice oil and salt, but there is no element of love. In this case, you will feel that your life is very depressed. Even at some point hating your husband deprives you of your regular needs as a normal woman, resulting in you starting to feel that such a marriage is somewhat mutilated, so you have the idea of divorce.
It can be seen that you are a principled and grateful woman: 1) always thinking about your husband's acceptance of you in your most difficult times, and 2) although you are not satisfied with holding a marriage in the current situation, you have not done anything to betray the marriage and do not allow yourself to do so. But the truth in your heart is that such a marriage makes you unhappy at all.
My attitude is: in the face of a person who has worked hard to love and can't love, you should boldly tell the other party the truth of your heart. At least, you don't have to eat well, sleep badly, and the other person doesn't have to continue to fight the relationship in a state you don't love.
You may feel that if you withdraw from the other person now, the other party will be very pitiful, but you must not forget that there is also a state of affection called the old partner, and perhaps for him, it is more suitable to find an old partner who can really care about him in life than you.
In between, my advice is to find a chance, sit down with him and have a good talk, tell him all the real thoughts in your heart and your entanglements, and I am sure that he will eventually let you go.
In this life, we are actually doing two things: making a living and making love. Many times, people will spend more energy on making a living, and even when they are young, they will have the idea that marriage is too tired, and buying a house is too tired. So immerse yourself in a state of being single and renting a house for a long time. In fact, such a simple way of living is easy for everyone to know, but as you get older, your attitude towards life will also change, and you feel that life is perfect enough to have a house of your own, a home with lovers and children. Regarding this cruel truth, you may wish to look at the people around you who are forty or fifty years old: single, most of them are poor; they can't afford to buy a house, most of them are also because they are poor. So, when you are young, you can reject love, you can also reject buying a house, at least, one day in the future, when your outlook on life changes, you have to have the capital to get married and the capital to buy a house. Never use singles and renting a house as a shield for your delicious laziness.
Editor's Note:
Choosing a marriage partner, you must not let yourself go to extremes, just like: don't think about marrying someone because someone is particularly rich; just like: don't think of marrying someone because of their good looks; just like: Don't think about marrying someone because you are good to you. After finalizing the relationship, both parties should give each other some time to understand each other, during this period, if the interaction is more pleasant, you can have the idea of marriage, if the process of getting along is particularly awkward, you should rationally withdraw from the relationship.
Marriage is a comprehensive market, and there are many factors that really make marriage go smoothly, including the need to consider the age difference between each other, living habits and eating habits. I have seen such a couple, because they can't eat together, and eventually divorce. Therefore, when we choose the marriage partner, we must consider it in all aspects. Of course, if after understanding, you feel that it is inappropriate between the two parties, you must boldly tell the other party the truth of your heart, rather than holding hands in marriage without being embarrassed to refuse, otherwise it will be unfair to both parties.
(Picture from the network, graphics and text have nothing to do)