Wedding is the most important joy for a family.
It's not just about adding to the population, it's also about the hope of small family formation.
Under normal circumstances, there are happy events in the family, parents are happy to raise eyebrows, not only dress festively, but also run before and after greeting guests, so that everyone can share the joy together.
I saw a wedding in Guizhou on the Internet, but it was different.
There was a link to toast tea to parents at the wedding, the bride came to the father-in-law with tea, the old man pulled his face, looked unhappy, held his hands in front of him, not only did not take the tea, but also whispered a word.
The emcee next to him reminded him to take the tea, the old man was not moved, the emcee thought that there was a contradiction between the two sides, and he was frightened and did not dare to persuade.
The villagers next to them whispered, all talking about the old man's practices.
Some speculate that it may be that the old man is not satisfied with the new person, or that the wedding did not get his consent.
This speculation is also not valid, if you are really not satisfied, you will not sit in the seat and wait for the newcomer to toast tea, he can completely mention to avoid.
An insider revealed: "It is because the bride price was given 160,000, but the bride did not bring it over as a dowry, which made the old man feel unhappy." ”
This statement has been nodded by everyone, and some people think that the woman's family is too much, you know, for rural families, the dowry has been hollowed out of savings, and there may be foreign debt.
If the little two take this money to live a life, it is also to add bricks and tiles to the children, the old man generally will not say anything, but a penny is not brought over, for the in-laws, it is a blow,
Just when everyone was talking about it, the father-in-law finally spoke: "I, I didn't prepare a red envelope, this tea can't be drunk, right?" ”
He said this reason, which no one could have imagined, the villagers laughed loudly, and the emcee quickly answered: "Drink, no red envelopes to drink!" ”
The atmosphere eased, but the comment section was "Do you want to give a bride price when you get married?" "The discussion began.
People who support giving the bride price think.
"The bride price is an attitude, if the man is not willing to give the bride price, it means that he does not care so much about the girl, marriage is like this, and when he has children in the future, can he still be good to her?" Marriage changes the second half of a woman's life, and when she has children, it is too late to regret it, there is money in hand, at least there is some confidence in life.
Opponents of giving the bride price think.
"Love is equal, daughters are the parents' efforts, isn't the boy's hard work of parents?" The two sides together is a heartfelt love, if you want to use money to measure, there is no meaning, how many families, in order to give a huge bride price, parents have to cut down on food and clothing for many years to pay off debts, is this daughter-in-law happy? ”
For the bride price? Before answering this question, let's first trace the origin of the bride price.
The "Manuscript of the History of Chinese Marriage" has such a record of the bride price: "In the Zhou Dynasty, the jade was draped with skins, and after the Warring States, the first benefit was gold, while the Han Dynasty was dominated by gold."
The Book of Rites says: "When noble men and women marry, the number of ceremonies is extremely complicated, and they are roughly proposed by a matchmaker, and then they are awarded." ”
From these records, it can be seen that the bride price has a long history, from animal furs to golden gifts, not only to thank the woman for the cultivation of children, but also to compensate for the loss of the woman's labor.
The sinologist Friedman believes that after marriage in ancient times, the wife followed the husband's surname, and the children born also followed the man's surname, tacitly acknowledging that they were members of the man's family.
In some people's traditional concept, marrying a daughter is actually a complete gift to the man, and then returning to the mother's house is already a guest.
From this perspective, you can understand the traditional practice of some parents not giving the bride price to their daughters.
However, with the development of the times, thinking must also keep pace with the times.
When a girl gets married, she is no longer the one who has children, but also herself.
She can continue to work, or she can choose to have only one child, and she has more initiative in life.
Most parents, without the idea of preferring sons to daughters, are also very loving to their daughters, and the cost of education invested is no less than that of men.
Parents want a bride price, more to give the small family some start-up funds, so that the daughter's life after marriage is better.
Of course, it is not excluded that some parents in life will use their daughter's bride price to buy a house for their son, but this is only a small part.
Some of my parents around me have such an attitude, how much dowry the in-laws give, how much dowry to accompany the marriage, and even give more, even if the daughter can't often go back to the mother's house after marriage, the parents don't care, the main daughter is doing well.
Some parents ask for a bride price before marriage, in fact, out of concern about their daughter's marriage, they want to find a sense of security for their daughter.
But girls should also understand that the bride price is only a stepping stone to marriage, not a source of happiness.
The appropriate approach is to propose the amount that the other party can come up with according to the family conditions of the man, rather than comparing it with others.
Some girls may say that they need to prepare some funds in advance to have children for their husbands after marriage.
In fact, this idea is not right, the child is not born for the man, but for himself, and it is also the crystallization of the love of the husband and wife.
Because the child is the inheritance of the relationship between the two people, the filial piety after growing up is also the parent, as for how much to pay for the child, it really has nothing to do with the elderly.
With the independence of women's economy, the bride price has been viewed objectively by many people, as long as the new person has a good relationship, these external forms are not so important.
However, in life, there are still a small number of girls who emphasize the bride price when talking about marriage, and even do not marry because they do not meet their wishes, which is a bit of an inversion.
The correct attitude is that if the man is not worthy of trust, he will not marry even if he gives a colorful gift; if the man is worthy of trust, if there is no dowry, he will also marry!
What do you think about that? Do you think the bride price will affect marital happiness to some extent? How much is the bride price you can accept?