Friends are indispensable beings as a "social person".
As the saying goes: "One more friend is one more road". Many times we get opportunities that come from our friends. Especially in China's humane society, the role of friends may be far more important than you think.
But not most people say that the more friends the better, because not everyone is worthy of your deep friendship, and most people even friends are just passers-by in your life. All you need is a few close friends.
In a sense, everyone actually has the possibility of becoming your confidant, but the so-called "near Zhu is red and close to ink is black." "Confidant friends are not the same as you in the three views, some confidants are very important to your life development, and some may take you to the road of no return."
So how do you find that those around you deserve to be close to you? I will use psychology to give you the answer from three aspects.
01. "Cautious and independent" people
Prudence is a Confucian method of moral cultivation, which refers to being more cautious and consciously abiding by various moral codes when living idly and alone without supervision.
Each of us has our own "two sides", even if you are sure to be so, and dealing with the same thing in front of a crowd and when there is no one can behave differently, especially when faced with major moral choices.
Therefore, when we make friends, we should not only look at his attitude towards himself in front of himself, but also look at his attitude towards himself behind his back, you can see his style of doing things, so as to understand his character.
One might ask, "How can you see that side of yourself behind your back?" ”
This is actually difficult, and we don't need to do it, because there is a much simpler way to see if he often says bad things about others behind their backs. This may be just a small inadvertent thing, and occasional spat may be fine, but if it is regular, then the person's character can be imagined.
In the same way, people who deserve deep friendship, not only will they not denigrate others behind their backs, but on the contrary, they will resist this behavior as much as possible, and have their own spirit of "different flows".
02. "Confident" people
From the principle of realism, we make friends full of profit choices, and you will never go to a friend who is not good for you or even harms your interests. While the benefits extend to the spirit, the quality of a friend will also subtly affect your mental state.
If your friend complains about his life all day long and spits out all kinds of negative emotions to the people around him, then it is obvious that you will be affected by her emotions, and over time you may inadvertently appear in this situation.
What we need in the road of life we struggle for is encouragement and motivation, not complaints from others. Life is already very hard, not everyone has tenacious perseverance, so we need to have "confident" friends around us, their motivation to rush forward will also drive themselves, and when they occasionally encounter setbacks, they will also come to comfort themselves and help themselves through difficulties.
From a psychological point of view, even the most confident people actually have their own inferiority, you have inferiority does not mean that you are weak, but remember not to let this emotion infinitely amplify, and even affect others, just as you do not want such a friend, you want to become a person worthy of others' glue, then you yourself must also be full of positive energy. Optimistic.
03. Your "positive": You are also an optimistic version of yourself
It is important to make friends with others, but there is a very important friend who has always been by our side, he is also worthy of our deep friendship, and in a sense, your friend is of great significance to your life, he is yourself, your own optimistic side.
Although this friend is inseparable from us, he may be affected by your negative emotions and gradually "blackened" by your negative emotions. When he disappears, you may also be caught up in endless negative emotions, when darkness will surround you.
If you meet this friend of yours, please do your best to keep him, treat him with sincerity, you will not fail him, and I believe that he will certainly not fail you. Because he brings you not only hope, but more importantly, he is happy and happy itself, and is truly worthy of your deep friendship.
epilogue
People need friends, no matter who they are. You can choose loneliness, which is your way of life and your freedom, but you have to be clear that whatever kind of loneliness is inherently social. In the case of Robinson, even if he is exiled to a desert island, the knowledge he possesses is social, which is the essential difference between humans and animals.
We form our own relations of production in society, thus forming various relations of communication, which is an important way of practice in philosophy and the basis for our understanding of each other and therefore better survival in psychology. Maybe we don't need too many friends, but we must know how to behave in the world and a pair of eyes that can see people.
This is an important way for you to make close friends, and it is also the most important thing for you to avoid those "pits" on the road to success. Therefore, the above three kinds of "friends", please be sure to make deep friends.