summary:
01, parents seem to be born with the confidence that their children can become talents, worried that their children will one day be "unworthy", so "parenting" has always been a matter of great importance to parents. This leads to the embarrassing reality that there are a large number of "virtuous and unplaced" people in this society who are regarded as "useless" in addition to being cultured/cultivated.
02, in a way, this is a world that measures personal ability with materials, there is strength, parenting/cultivation can give you the icing on the cake, but without strength, and then there is cultivation, you may not be anything. Unfortunately, many parents who are well versed in this matter still regard "parenting" as the foundation of their children's lives, and that matter that is ten thousand times more important than parenting has been ignored.
03, in the personal view, only by figuring out what kind of person you want to be, you will have a clear direction of efforts and forward momentum. For children who are now generally free of worries and have no pressure to survive, early determination is undoubtedly the most important thing.
Text | Honest Chen YOLO
Edit | God teases Daddy
Parents value the reason for "parenting"
For many of us, some of these scenarios should be familiar:
Children see outsiders, will be asked to call people, if the child takes the initiative to call, it seems to be a proud thing, if the child does not call, it will have a deep sense of "no light on the face", it is likely to blame it, and sometimes will come to the face to say: this child! How can you be so rude, how many times have you told me...
Children's good habits in food, clothing, housing and transportation must be developed as soon as possible, a little bad tip will be quickly corrected by the "responsible" parents, it seems that the child's little "bad habits (parents do not like)" will ruin his life.
In order to let the child have good grades, they can do anything for the child, meet the "conscience" of the child is okay, their bitter mouth can make the child a little more peaceful, but if they encounter a child who does not enter the oil and salt, they can only "admit their fate".
I wasn't very smart when I was a kid, but I always had the question: Why? Why do I have to call people whether I like it or not? Why can't I keep a little bit of my personality? Why is it that even a binary one-time equation cannot be solved, and you can point fingers at my learning so straightly? Are the beggars on the road really people who have not studied well?
Yeah, why? Why has no one ever explained these things to us?
Why should I be polite, why should I have good habits, why should I have good grades?
I should have asked my mother or father, but the answers were often "strange" to us, and what they said was too far away for us to see and touch!
You say, where is the motivation?
Do you blame your child for not understanding your hard work? Then you also think about the same process as yourself?
When I grew up I understood that it wasn't that they didn't explain, it was that they couldn't explain it at all!
Because most people don't know what they want to do, what kind of person they want to be, and then live their lives in a muddle.
They only see the good character shown in the successful people, and simply think that these are the ones that make them "people on the top".
They may feel that their "character" has accumulated too much, and one day they will be able to move forward. It seems to me to be the same thing as thinking that if you buy more lottery tickets, you will definitely win the jackpot.
"Determination" became a slogan
Unfortunately, this seems to be a very common thing, because for now, two or three of the 10 people you encounter on the street are the kind of "grassroots" with good character but no strength.
It's not that I look down on them, I'm probably the kind of person whose apparent calm can't hide the imbalance inside.
Of course, there are also many people who have become self-styled and high-minded people, or people who like to shoot the head bird and like to fall into the well.
It is naturally a good thing to be educated and cultivated, after all, we all like such people, but do we need to make everyone like it?
It is also a good thing to have ideals and ambitions, but the problem is that this seems to have become a slogan, parents are shouting every day, and children can't listen to it or don't care to listen at all.
What exactly is the problem?
Maybe it's the ones we explain to our children that are too grandiose, too out of touch with humanity!
What worries the country and the people, and what benefits the people, is not as good as "fame and fortune"!
If you want your child to know why you have to work hard, you must first let him see the "benefits" that you can touch, which is more useful than any bitter mouth (positive teaching materials, negative teaching materials)!
I believe that children are actually very clear about what they want at the moment, but they are too unfamiliar with long-term things, so what "turnips" parents use to guide, how to guide, so that children have clear ambitions, is the most important thing.
Unfortunately, as such a person and a person who grew up in such an environment, it is really difficult for me to come up with a method that has been proven to work.
I only know that determination can make people clear about what they are pursuing, so that people can have clear goals, and can people focus and achieve something.
On that day, not only will you spontaneously improve your cultivation, but others will also put an aura on your head.
epilogue
We may not know what we really want and what kind of person we want to be, so that we are easily influenced by others or external factors, wavering, wanting everything, and finally getting nothing.
The plan can never catch up with the change, only with a clear goal, it is possible not to stick to the plan or the process itself, to achieve a true "unity of knowledge and action".
In terms of children's education, we must first "know" what you want, ask yourself, do you want the child's upbringing, or the child's future strength? If it is the latter, the methods and methods need to be adjusted.
In this, the weight of which is self-evident is self-evident, but the method requires us to think more.
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