Education, in the details.
When a child asks, "Mom, why do you want to go to work," your answer is the best time to help your child build a worldview and establish a big picture.
"Mom (Dad), why are you going to work?" Stay at home with me or not..."
When your child asks you this question, how do you answer it?
I once saw a video like this on the Internet:
One child asked, "Mom, why are you going to work?" ”
Mom answered:
"Mom has to make money to buy you food and play for you to study."
The child silently lowered his head: "It turns out that I made my mother so tired." ”
Another child asked, "Mom, why are you going to work?" ”
The mother replied:
"Because your mother has to learn new knowledge, make new friends, and not be eliminated by society, just like if you are a student, you have to study hard and get along with your friends." 」
Behind the two different answers are two different values.
It is true that for many parents, picking up a job cannot accompany you, and letting go of work cannot support you;
However, for young children, the parents' answers will be like a golden rule, affecting the child's view of the profession and even the beginning of life.
Adele Farber, a famous American adolescent scholar, once said:
"Don't underestimate the impact of your words on a child's life."
When the child asks the question "Why do you want to go to work", it reflects the child's thinking about the outside world, and at this time, the parent's answer is very important.
Your answer determines the pattern of your child's future.
Different answers
Children see a different world
Perhaps, when I first saw this problem, many parents would find it funny.
Even, after hearing this problem, some parents will feel that their children are making unreasonable trouble, and then start to yell at their children:
"I don't go to work, where does the money come from, and your snack toys fall from the sky!"
"I don't go to work, what do you eat?" What to drink? The books you read, the clothes you wear, the house you live in, the toys you play with, you buy for money! I don't go to work, where is the money to support you? ”
It is undeniable that all parents want their children to be able to understand themselves, to understand that it is not easy to make money, life is not easy, and the starting point is good.
But think about it, your answer, how will the child feel when he hears it?
Children will intuitively think: "Go to work to make money!" To make money is to eat and drink! ”
Even children who are emotionally shaken will feel that the reason why their parents want to go to work is because they are dragged down;
In this way, children will no longer dare to ask for the company of their parents in the future.
A 5-year-old girl, crying and shouting not to let her parents go to work;
Her mother advised her: "Mother is going to make money, otherwise where will the money come from to buy you sugar?" ”
When the girl heard this, she cried even harder, and she threw away the sugar in her hand, crying and saying, "I will never eat sugar again."
Such a scene is sad.
In the child's heart, the problem is that the child longs to have more companionship.
If the parents do not go home and do not accompany themselves, the child will lack of security in his heart.
In fact, you can tell your child:
"Mom and Dad love to work, and work can learn novel knowledge and bring happiness to other people."
Mom and Dad can't accompany you to work, but they will always think of you. ”
Such an answer, although it can not meet the child's desire to accompany, will give the child a great sense of security.
And, parents can also pass on positive signals to their children:
Since work is so happy, children will also be full of expectations for their future careers, their lives, and do their best to do their own thing.
In this way, children will be more active in learning.
In a letter to his daughter, a father once said:
"I never tell you I go to work to make money because I'm afraid you'll think money is more important than you."
Money, very important;
But it is more important to help children improve their thinking and expand their concepts.
In the face of children's questions, the different answers of parents are enough to determine the different thinking heights of children.
Let your child know
Mom and Dad still love you even if they work
In "The Boy Says", a girl shouts to her mother on the roof:
"Mom, don't you love me that much?"
Why can you talk so much to strangers but not to me? ”
"Once I called you, and you were busy with the phone, and when I finally got through, you asked me in a very cold tone what was going on?"
Don't you love me that much, and if you do, can you love me again..."
The girl's crying made the audience present all moved to tears.
In fact, parents get up early and greedily, all for the sake of the family to be able to live better, so that the children can have better educational conditions.
However, sometimes, this kind of effort by parents may not be forgiven by children.
Because, what the child sees is: "In the eyes of my parents, there is only work, and they don't love me at all." ”
In the eyes of children, parents are their own world;
For the eyes of children who are eager for companionship, what parents need to do is not to ignore them, let alone to look at each other coldly, but to gently say to their children:
"Although your mother is very busy at work, you will always be your mother's favorite baby."
Parents' attitude towards work
Hidden in the child's life pattern
There is a video on the Internet: Parents often complain about hard work in front of their children, what will be the impact?
The child's parents often complain in front of their daughters that they are tired at work, and the new leader is a pervert, letting them work overtime all day, and when they think of overtime, they have so many things every day.
One day, the daughter said to her mother:
"Mom, can I not go to school today, the thought of us taking so many classes gives me a headache."
And we math teachers, especially like to assign homework, when I think of this, I want to cry, if only I could not go to school, I really hate to go to school. ”
The mother was very angry and very sternly refused her daughter and said, no.
Yelling at his daughter, he said, "You didn't want to go to school when you were young, and you still wanted to skip class. ”
Then the daughter asked her mother why: "Just allow mom and dad to hate going to work, don't you allow me to hate school?" ”
It is inevitable that the work will be affected, or even angry, and the pressure of work will be passed on to the child, which will only plant a tumor in the child's young heart.
Let the child have a sense of fear of work, will make the child feel that the work is like a flood beast, which is a very painful thing.
It will even deepen children's dislike of learning and affect their future.
No matter how tired you are at work, don't pass on the negative energy of life to your children.
Once saw the story of a cleaner:
One winter morning, just after dawn, a mother prepares to go to work;
The 5-year-old son, with sleepy eyes, cried and said to his mother:
"Mom, why do you have to go out to work so early every day?"
The mother cleaner replied:
"Do you go to kindergarten every day and cross a long road?" Would you be happy if the road was dirty and all garbage? ”
The child said: "Unhappy, the mother said, the child who loves hygiene is a good child." ”
Mom continued:
"So, Mommy has to go out early and clear the road."
In this way, children can be happy every day when they walk across that road. ”
The child listened, very happy, and he gave his mother a thumbs up in a gentle voice:
"Mom, hello great."
Sometimes, the parents' attitude towards work is the parents' attitude towards life.
People with narrow patterns are always addicted to their own status quo, self-pity, and complain about social injustice;
On the contrary, people with a broad understanding, even in ordinary and ordinary positions, can make achievements beyond the understanding of ordinary people and get the happiness they want.
The child is the mirror of the parent; the parent is the example of the child.
Parents' perception of work determines the vision and pattern of children's views of things.
As Elon's mother, Meyer Musk, said in an interview:
"Let your child grow up in the environment where their parents work hard, knowing that the harder they work, they will get better grades and get greater luck."
Parents are the leaders of their children's lives;
Any word said by parents will leave its unique mark on the child's growth journey.
So, when the child asks "Mom, why are you going to work", bend down, lean down, and patiently say to the child.
Your answer, your attitude towards work, will determine your child's attitude and pattern towards career and life in the future.
Even if the bitter point is tired, we must create a beautiful fairy tale for the child, so that the child, with love and expectation, to embrace the future world.
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