In a "Psychological Interview", a 33-year-old female college student, ten years after graduation, does not go out to find a job or contact with people, and is righteously nibbling at home and constantly accusing her elderly parents.
As soon as this program came out, the girl was unanimously condemned by the majority of netizens:
"Such a big person, with hands and feet, he knows to eat the old at home",
"There are so many people who are suppressed by their parents, and she is so vulnerable, not because she is lazy."
"Since you are dissatisfied with your parents, why don't you move out yourself, and it is really speechless to condemn your parents while nibbling on the old age."
What did this girl say about that?
The girl said she was "always a bad girl."
In the eyes of her parents, she never saw her efforts. Seeing only what they wanted to see, she kept being suppressed and denied.
"You're not going to get anywhere!"
"What can you do while you're at home?"
"What's the use of liking those?" Can't do anything, don't read a book yet."
"Waste, nothing."
That was what her mother used to say to her, never approved by her parents, and forever denied by them.
Under such pressure, she became completely confident, nervous and inferior to strangers, so she went to the interview, never succeeded, she returned home, did not get the comfort of her parents, her parents were still sneering at her, and finally she gave up on herself, completely gave up on herself, nibbled at home, and stayed for ten years.
The formation of anything is not one-sided, this incident of nibbling on the old, there are children's gradually growing laziness, there are also reasons for the failure of parents' education, but no matter who is responsible, there is no need to pursue it now.
The most important thing at the moment is to help the child get rid of the psychological barrier so that she can return to normal life as soon as possible, and now these netizens who either sympathize with the child's complaints about the parents or accuse the child of sympathizing with the parents, they will return to their lives after the end of this farce, and only the parents and children in this family will bear the pain.
Only effective communication, mutual understanding, and seeking professional help can untie the knots between children and parents, eliminate the children's psychological obstacles, and put the family back on track.
Talking to your children well is the most important thing in homeschooling, but unfortunately, too many parents don't realize it.
The Social Survey Center of China Youth Daily once conducted a questionnaire survey of 2,000 young people aged 18-35.
The results showed that 90.6% of people admitted that their parents had conducted verbal percussive education on themselves, and 45.4% said that until middle school, their parents were still fighting and denying themselves. 59.7% of people believe that percussive education makes them lack self-confidence and become prone to self-denial.
There are many studies that show that parents' verbal attacks will have a strong negative impact on their children's physical and mental health, and their probability of suffering from depression, schizophrenia, cardiovascular disease and other physical and mental diseases will increase, and will also continue to affect their children's future career and emotional development.
There are already too many tragedies happening, can't we be alert? In this incident of nibbling on the elderly, elderly parents make people sympathetic, fear of inferior children also make people feel painful, in order not to let such tragedies repeat, parents love their children, please use warm language and children to communicate lovingly.