Many parents come to me to complain, saying that their children are disobedient, and sometimes they just want to open their mouths, and the children of other families are well-behaved and sensible, and the things that parents do not let them do are resolutely not done. Parents really don't understand that they are also for the good of their children, why are children so rejecting themselves?
The following pictures hide the truth that children reject parents, let's take a look at it together.
The child is writing homework, encountered a problem that he will not, angrily threw down the pen and refused to write again, at this time ordinary parents use oppressive words to condemn the child "how can you be so stupid, this will not be", the original intention of the parents is to stimulate the child's fighting spirit, do not let the child give up halfway, but the child will only become more and more inferior under this kind of oppressive education, more and more stupid, into a deep self-doubt.
And what will the parents of the well-behaved children whom we envy say? Wise parents will encourage their children, affirm the child, "think again, you can definitely do it right", guide the child to think about how to solve the problem, rather than throwing the problem to the child when there is a problem, and standing on the sidelines.
Ordinary parents who will not educate their children like to compare their children with other people's children, use the strengths of others to compare their children's shortcomings, each child has its own advantages and disadvantages, children may not be as good as other children in this regard, but children also have their own advantages, parents can only see what they want to see, that is, their own children are inferior to others. This is not motivating the child to be motivated, this is destroying the child's self-confidence.
Wisdom parents who will educate their children can see the advantages of their children, and encourage children to develop their advantages better, wise parents compare their children with themselves, such as "your last grade improved a lot, this time regressed, you need to reflect well", this is the right way for intense children to be motivated.
What parents strictly prohibit, children prefer to do, again and again again against the wishes of their parents, in the eyes of parents such children are unreasonable and difficult to communicate. Therefore, ordinary parents will more severely stop their children from "not doing this" when they see their children doing things they don't like, and parents directly give negative answers that are unreasonable in the eyes of children, and children are aroused to rebel psychology, the more parents do not let them do things, the more he has to do, and the parent-child conflict is further intensified.
Wise parents will tell their children why, and the bad consequences of doing so, "Think about the consequences!" "Kids are smart, they know the consequences and weigh themselves up, and they won't do anything like that again."
So, seeing this, do parents understand? Children are disobedient, always disgusted with their parents' nagging, parents may wish to try to change their own way of education, maybe you will get a more satisfactory result.