"Don't cry!" "If you cry again, I'll..." "Don't lose your temper!" "Don't yell!" Is this what you often say to your children?
When the child cries sadly, resists angrily, shouts and loses his temper, most parents will be irritable and use all means to coax, cheat, hit, scold, and want the child to stop.
Parents feel that it is not good for their children to show negative emotions, and they are not well-behaved children, and they desperately try to stop them.
Over time, even children understand that children who are obedient, do not lose their temper, and do not cry are good children, and their parents will love me.
Some children know that they cannot meet the standards of their parents, simply break the jar and break it, and become a "bad child" at all, while other children take the initiative to form a "flattering personality" in order to get more favors, especially obedient, even if their own interests are damaged.
Negative emotions can help children improve themselves
In fact, everyone will have positive and negative emotions, so that it is a complete self.
Parenting experts have found that each negative emotion can bring different feelings and experiences to children, helping them manage and control emotions and improve themselves.
1. Sad crying
When a child accidentally falls and is injured, he will cry loudly, at this time, his crying is just to tell us: I need companionship and comfort.
If we give the child a hug, touch his head to comfort him, and give him a sense of security, the child will be closer to us.
This is the role of grief, it allows children to learn to seek warmth from the outside world, to seek help from others, and is a good opportunity to repair themselves and build good relationships with others.
2. Angry resistance
When Doudou was 2 years old, he was very assertive, and he had to decide what clothes and shoes he wore, what dishes to eat, and how much to eat.
We are worried that the clothes she picked are too thin for cold weather, the shoes she chooses are not suitable for playing projects, and eating too little is afraid that she will be hungry...
We tried to persuade gently and stop it seriously, but she did not compromise, confronted us very firmly, and shouted angrily.
Later we stopped mentoring her and let her decide for herself. The clothes were too thin and it was cold to go out and she would tell us and ask us for help. This meal ate less, and the next one obediently ate a large bowl of rice by himself.
Learning to express anger and resistance in moderation is not a bad thing for children, it can make them understand what they like and hate, help them solve the contradiction between inner and external conflicts, and make them more independent and assertive.
3. The power of fear
In the process of growing up, there are many firsts, they may not dare to try, they will be afraid, such as: afraid of the dark, afraid of trying new foods, afraid of doing something alone...
If parents ignore their children's fears and say to them, "Really timid, what is there to be afraid of", or overprotect them and prevent them from touching what they are afraid of, it will cause children to form a cowardly character.
We should encourage our children to experiment, to take risks, to experience fear with them, to overcome fear.
Do these 4 points well to channel your child's negative emotions
Ignoring and suppressing children's negative emotions is not the best way, no matter whether the emotions are good or bad, every emotion is helpful for the child's mental development.
Parents do these 4 points well, can channel children's negative emotions, help children improve themselves:
1. Identify with your child's feelings
When children cry, lose their temper, and shout, we cannot blame them in a vacuum, first understand the reasons for the child's crying and tantrums, and identify with the child's sad and angry feelings at that time.
Repeat what your child has said, give your child a hug, and let your child know that you understand him.
2. Let children recognize and accept negative emotions
Emotions are a part of our lives, and as long as we breathe, there are emotions, they are the physical instincts of each of us, and he is with us in our bodies for life.
Let the child know that the generation of negative emotions is a very normal situation, do not feel afraid and ashamed of this, and accept your negative emotions.
3. Find a solution with your child
When we perceive that children are suppressing their own negative emotions, we must guide children to reasonably vent and release negative emotions.
You can talk about how you felt with your child at that time, think about what to do to resolve this negative emotion, and find a solution together, which is also an opportunity to build an emotional relationship with your child.
4. Help children manage their emotions through picture books
Emotional intelligence is a person's ability to recognize emotions, manage emotions, and correctly handle interpersonal relationships, and the level of emotional intelligence is the key factor that determines whether a person can succeed.
Many scientific studies have shown that whether a person can become a great talent and achieve great achievements, emotional intelligence plays a decisive role.
3-6 years old is a sensitive period of children's emotions, their self-awareness gradually develops and matures, their emotions are gradually enriched, and more emotions can be felt.
This stage is a critical period for cultivating children's emotional intelligence and shaping children's good character, directly to the children to reason, they may not be able to understand, vivid and interesting picture book stories can help children understand these truths faster.
epilogue
Emotions are a part of our lives, and every negative emotion can bring different feelings and experiences to children, helping them manage and control their emotions and improve themselves.
3-6 years old is the child's emotional sensitivity period, is to cultivate children's emotional intelligence, shaping the child's good character of the key period, how to help children understand emotions, manage emotions, is the focus of each of our parents education.