It is a very fortunate thing to be a loved one in this life, so we should cherish each other, respect each other, take care of each other, and live this wonderful life.
However, in fact, there are many parents and children who have become the people who hate each other the most. How to get along with their parents and children is undoubtedly a problem that every Chinese-style family must face at present.
There used to be a discussion group on Douban called "Parents Hurt People", and there were people in the group who accused their parents all the time, without exception, saying that they hated their parents.
But even if parents are really bad, it's understandable to hate them. Such a thing is easy to deal with, as long as cutting off the bad place, it is like cutting off a poisonous sore.
But most of the time, parents are not bad people, just generations of different living habits and do not communicate.
Especially in the modern society with developed information, every child has knowledge, and when parents with good concepts have long learned to educate their children with advanced educational concepts, you still use traditional educational methods to educate children.
Contrast can hurt, and some young people who don't understand their parents' hard work also hate their parents. As the saying goes, there is no reason and no inexplicable hatred.
Parenthood is easy, as long as the father's sperm and the mother's egg are combined, you can give birth to a new life. But it's harder than everyone thinks to expect children to thank their parents in sincere words.
Love must choose the right approach. If you choose the wrong approach, your child will hate himself more and more. Why are more and more young people starting to hate their parents? The fact that every young person who hates their parents has experienced two desperate childhoods makes people sigh.
One. Parents are powerful, children are not free
In the history of our country, there has been dictatorship and centralization, and it still exists in the education of children. If a child goes against the wishes of their parents, they will reprimand them with "love" as a reason.
When parents blame their children, they are better off. But even for the good of the child, if it goes against the child's wishes, it may still have a negative effect on the child, prompting them to hate their parents.
Everyone craves autonomy, and if a person cannot decide on his own food, clothing, shelter, and transportation, even if her material life is good, her heart will be unhappy.
This is especially evident among teenagers, where parents tell them when to do, learn, and eat, and they are obedient like little pets.
But children are not pets after all. When they grow up with their own ideas, they hate the authoritarian power of their parents. Teach your child to find the right way. Parents must learn to let go of possessiveness and get along with their children as equals.
Second, over-parenting, children do not grow
There is a story of a man with excellent grades who suffered from depression when he was about to graduate from college. She asked the doctor: What should I do? My only skill is doing problems. Now that I'm graduating, I don't have to do any more questions.
How do I live? She was anxious about the future and didn't know how to live. I hated my parents, who only knew how to let me learn and solve problems, but never taught me the skills of survival.
This is everywhere in life. Many parents, in the name of being good to their children, don't care about anything but learning. They think it's right, but in the end, they make kids hate themselves even more.
The reason they are often spoiled by their parents is that their own childhoods are unfortunate, so they want their children not to be exposed to more and more complicated things, but what they don't know is that this kind of coddling has a big impact on their children's future.
True recovery is based on uncovering wounds, and if parents are really good to their children, they should make him accept the wind and rain, not the flowers in the greenhouse.
Most parents and children have been broken down, planting the seeds of misfortune and ultimately not understanding why children hate themselves.
You know, raising a child doesn't have to be watching him grow up. The meaning of cultural education is not to maintain children trapping children in ivory towers forever, but to let children learn how to survive desperately and learn more skills.
Don't wait for your child to compete with others, find that they have no strengths, and hate you, only to wake up and be fully prepared at the beginning.
The road to life is like a marathon, not all smooth sailing, so we must grasp the scale from the beginning.
Therefore, you must firmly say to the child: you love her, but you cannot guarantee the ultimate, you can only try to give, and the rest must be obtained by his own efforts.
Where does hatred come from? You said you could protect him for the rest of his life. He believed it, but you didn't. If you're sure he's living on his own in the first place, there's not so much hate.