Hoping for a child to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix is the expectation of many Chinese parents, but the education that is promoted by pulling seedlings will not only deprive children of a good childhood, but also affect the healthy growth of children.
On December 14, the Nanjing Intermediate People's Court handled a case arising from education issues. A doctor in Nanjing, "Tiger Dad", asked his first-grade son and daughter to learn the knowledge of middle school and university, learn until late at night every day, and sometimes insult and beat, this radical education method made the child's mother really can't stand it and wants to "ask for help" from the court.
The mother applied to the court for a personal safety order
Mr. Mao is a Ph.D. graduate and has two children with his wife, Ms. Zheng, a son aged 7, in the first grade of primary school, and a daughter aged 5, attending kindergarten.
Mr. Mao often taught middle school and university knowledge to his son and daughter, and let the two children learn literature and higher mathematics, and the two children often studied until late at night. Mr. Mao encountered problems in the process of education and learning, and often insulted and beat his two children.
After this situation was known to the public security police, the women's federation, and the school, they successively intervened in mediation, but Mao has not realized the problem of his own education methods being unqualified, but instead believes that educating children is his "family affair" and does not need others to worry about it. Because of the education of their children, it also affects the feelings between husband and wife, and the two often quarrel and contradict each other.
Ms. Zheng could not bear to see her child carrying such heavy pressure, so she applied to the court: It is forbidden for the respondent Mao to insult the applicant and the applicant's children Xiaoming and Xiao Jia; it is forbidden for the respondent Mao to restrict the personal freedom of the applicant and the applicant's children.
Courts: Domestic violence is prohibited
Upon review, the court found that the guardian of a minor has the duty to conduct reasonable education for the minor, but should choose an appropriate educational method based on the minor's age and intellectual development status, on the basis of respecting the minor's psychological status and emotional needs.
In this case, based on the evidence provided by the applicant Zheng, such as the "Explanation of the Situation of the Police Receiving the Police", medical records, photos, videos, etc., as well as the relevant information learned by the undertaker of the case from Xiaoming's homeroom teacher, it can be proved that in the process of educating the two children, the respondent Mao often used insulting words to insult and sometimes even beat up, improper education methods, and there were acts of domestic violence against minors.
After the court staff informed the respondent Mao that Zheng had applied for a personal safety protection order and explained the legal consequences to him, he still refused to participate in the hearing. Therefore, Zheng's applicant for a personal safety protection order met the statutory conditions.
The Jianye court ruled that the respondent Mao was prohibited from committing domestic violence against Zheng, Xiaoming, Xiaojia and their relevant close relatives.
The judge said: Mental abuse is also domestic violence
Children are the future of the family, how to educate children, let children thrive, is a problem that every parent is very concerned about. This case is a dispute caused by the improper method of family education, and the court has properly handled the dispute and resolved the contradictions between all parties by combining "hard restraint" and "soft care", thus maintaining the harmony of family relations.
The people's courts take a clear stand against sexually abusive domestic violence, and guide the respondent to choose the correct educational method. In this case, although the respondent did not cause serious physical damage to the child, there was a long-term abuse and degrading of the child for mental aggression, which was also domestic violence. Moreover, this backward and extensive education method seriously affects the healthy development of children's minds.
The reasons why "Tiger Daddy and Tiger Mom" are frequently criticized
On July 26, in the tokyo Olympic table tennis mixed doubles, Ito Mishimasa and Mizutani Hayabusa defeated China's Liu Shiwen/ Xu Xin 4-3 to win the championship. Ito's performance in the Olympic Games has aroused heated discussion among netizens, and her mother's education style has received a lot of criticism, saying that she is too paranoid and is called the "devil" mother.
Lang Lang, who is known as the world's top pianist, his father, is also a typical "tiger father". In order to accompany Lang Lang to practice the piano, he not only resigned from public office, but also took Lang Lang from Shenyang to Beijing, and from Beijing to the United States, running around to study. He was particularly strict with Lang Lang's requirements for practicing the piano, once because of a two-hour delay, he forced Lang Lang to take medicine and jump off the building, and Lang Lang was also greatly hurt by this, and he did not touch the piano for 3 months.
"Wrestle, Daddy" is a movie you must be very familiar with, the film Geeta's father in order to let his two daughters win the world championship, but also for them to carry out a variety of devilish training, the requirements for them are also particularly strict.
Behind these celebrities, there is a nasty father or mother. For the sake of their children's growth, they are willing to give up their careers, regard the cultivation of children as their own careers, endure all kinds of ridicule and ridicule, run around for their children, bother to plan, create various conditions, and force children to develop in the direction they want to become.
In today's high-speed society, this almost paranoid education has also laid a solid foundation for the future life of some people, and it is also one of the reasons for the success of some people. Without a lot of practice in childhood, there might not be the fame and wealth we have today.
The starting point of the "tiger fathers" and "tiger mothers" is good, but the reason for the real criticism is not because of their strict requirements, but their neglect of parent-child relationships, arbitrary despotism to children, and rough communication methods.
How to be a qualified and strict parent
If you want to let your child grow up healthily, "Tiger Dad" and "Tiger Mom" must first establish a good parent-child relationship with their children, provide support and nourishing soil for the healthy growth of children, and also provide a source of strength for children's growth.
For children, respect him, encourage him, support him, care for him, love him, so that children can persevere in high-intensity learning and gain motivation to move forward. Therefore, to establish a good parent-child relationship, we must learn to respect the child, care for the child, support the child, encourage the child, and grow up with the child, so as to promote the healthy growth of the child.
Secondly, if you want to let your child grow up healthily, you must also master certain communication skills and enter the child's heart.
In parent-child communication, parents often take a lofty posture to give orders, reprimand, criticize, and accuse children of their children, in fact, this is not only useless, but also makes children have fear, anxiety, inferiority and other emotions, rebellious, willful and other behaviors, making the problem more serious.
To make parent-child communication more harmonious, parents need to crouch down, listen to their children's voices, understand children's emotions and feelings with an equal perspective, replace evaluation with facts, and always communicate around goals.
Finally, if we want our children to grow up healthily, we as parents also need to grow up with our children. We must not only master more knowledge, but also constantly improve our own capabilities, be far-sighted, grasp the overall situation, and persevere.
If parents can't grow up on their own and give up when they encounter difficulties, how can they lead their children to grow. Therefore, as parents, we must not slacken off, try to learn how to become a better parent, learn how to communicate more effectively, learn how to plan for the future, and learn how to face setbacks.
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