The footsteps of the Spring Festival are getting closer and closer, and the long-awaited annual leave is also coming. However, whenever this time comes, many young people will encounter a troublesome thing, that is, they can't escape the urging of their parents, seven aunts and eight aunts, or even people who are not related to you by blood.
No matter how the times change, many people still maintain the idea that the man should marry the woman, and regardless of whether the person is related to himself or not, seeing that he is not yet married, he will be very "enthusiastic" to pay attention to the marriage of the other party.
There is always a reason to be an older leftover man and woman. Some people have a sense of fear of marriage, worried that once they are married, they will not be able to live well, preferring to be single, some people are hurt by the previous relationship, have not yet come out of the shadow of lost love, dare not open the next marriage, some people are fate has not arrived, have not yet met their destined fate of the people, and some people, the reason why they become older leftover men and women, is because the original family seriously drags their hind legs.
Psychologist Adler said: "Lucky people are cured of childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives." ”
In addition to love and money, the original family has also become a measure of people's choice of objects. After all, the original family is a lifelong bondage, parents, brothers and sisters will have a great impact on their own lives, can not be ignored. Men meet good fathers-in-law and mother-in-law, and women meet reasonable in-laws, which has no small benefit for marriage, on the contrary, whether it is a man or a woman, they do not want to deal with each other's unreasonable family, and they have violated their interests.
Qin Yao is 30 years old this year, not yet married, and has become an elderly leftover woman. It is not that Qin Yao does not want to get married, but her original family makes many boys prohibitive, mentioning her marriage, Qin Yao wants to cry without tears, complaining about the wayward behavior of her parents: "Twice was mentioned to break up, 6 blind dates failed, only because I have a 10-year-old brother." ”
When Qin Yao was born, not only were her grandparents who were looking forward to holding her grandson disappointed, they left the eldest son's family and single-mindedly helped the younger son's family, but Qin Yao's parents also felt very disappointed.
"Growing up, when my parents quarreled, my father scolded my mother for not being useful, and I couldn't even give birth to a son. My mother knew to cry, I went to coax her, but she was angry with me, saying that I had cast the wrong fetus and made her unhappy. I wondered, since they wanted a son so much, why didn't I have children when I was young, but wait until I grew up? ”
Qin Yao guessed that the family's economic conditions were too poor, so that parents did not have the confidence to have a second child. Anyway, she was an only child for 19 years.
When Qin Yao was 19 years old, he was studying for his freshman year and went home during the winter vacation, when he accidentally found that his mother's belly was big, and he felt incredible. It turned out that a relative who was similar to Qin Yao's family gave birth to a son when her daughter was 16 years old, which made Qin Yao's parents feel excited.
"You are only 43 years old, not too old, when the child grows up, you are more than 60 years old, not too old, can have children." Moreover, your daughter is an adult, is about to make money, and can help the family, so it is a big deal to let your daughter raise a younger brother. Under the persuasion of relatives, Qin Yao's parents wanted a second child and added a younger brother to their daughter when she was 20 years old.
The birth of her brother only embarrassed Qin Yao at first, thinking that her parents wanted to pass on their children at a large age, and did not realize the impact of her brother's birth on her life until she graduated from college.
"After I graduated, I got a job and started making money, and from the first time I got paid, my parents set their sights on me and asked me for money. At the beginning, they wanted me half of my salary, and at that time, my salary was not much, just about 4,000, and I gave it to them, and my life was stretched. Before that was all, my parents directly asked me to hand over my pay card, and they were in charge of it, and they were responsible for giving me living expenses. At that time, I only had money to eat, and buying clothes and cosmetics became a luxury dream. ”
From 4000 to 6000, and then to 8000, Qin Yao's salary rose a lot, but the days were still tight, which aroused the curiosity of the first boyfriend, after learning that Qin Yao had a younger brother, the boyfriend was immediately unhappy, and it didn't take long to propose a breakup: "I can't afford to marry my brother, and my parents will not accept such a daughter-in-law." ”
Qin Yao cried for a long time, entangled a lot, and failed to save his first love.
When talking about the second relationship, Qin Yao learned the lessons of the first relationship, accepted the advice of relatives, concealed the fact that she had a younger brother, and also wanted to return her salary card, but she still did not resist to the end.
"With the encouragement of my colleagues, I resisted and rejected my parents, but I didn't have a clue about my parents! They took my brother to the bottom of my company building, to the door of my neighborhood, crying, and my mother even knelt down and begged me. That's my biological parents, do I watch them ignore them like this? ”
Therefore, Qin Yao's heart softened again, still constantly taking money to subsidize his parents, the paper package could not hold the fire, and after the second boyfriend knew, he wanted to return the money lent to Qin Yao, and quickly blacked Qin Yao.
Both relationships ended in failure, and some people who were originally optimistic about Qin Yao also saw clearly the essence of her brother-in-law and no longer introduced her to the object.
After that, Qin Yao embarked on the road of blind date, originally, with her good looks and monthly salary of almost more than 10,000, it was not difficult to find a suitable object, but Qin Yao blind dated 6 times, none of them succeeded.
"Their first impression of me was fine, they left their contact information, but after inquiring about my family's situation, they didn't dare to marry me."
"You have a 20-year-old younger brother, who has deterred a lot of people from you. Your parents are also thinking about their daughters, transferring the responsibility of raising their sons to their daughters, and what is even more frightening is that you are not angry, or a brother-in-law demon, marrying you, it is equivalent to managing the little uncle for a lifetime, which man will be happy? Are you full of food? ”
Listening to his girlfriend's words of hating iron and steel, Qin Yao felt very broken: "Am I not worthy of marriage if I have a younger brother?" ”
The reason why Qin Yao will become an older leftover girl is mainly because of two points, first, she has a selfish parent who never knows how to think about her children, and second, she herself does not fight and does not dare to fight with the original family.
Psychologist Frank Kadler said: "One of the most unfortunate facts in life is that the first major tribulation we encountered came mostly from the family, and this tribulation is heritable. ”
Some people really don't deserve to be parents, and they don't deserve the two sacred words of father and mother. When parents do not need exams, it is the most terrible pain that the original family brings to a person.
Without strong economic conditions, people who fight for the second child at an advanced age are extremely selfish. They only want to fulfill their own purpose of having a son or relieving their boredom, without the slightest consideration of the consequences of doing so. After the birth of the second child, can they afford it in their 40s? Raising a child requires not only money, but also energy and time, can they afford it? Once they find that they can't afford it, they force the boss to assume responsibilities that don't belong to him in the name of being your parents and he is your younger sibling, infringing on the boss's interests and ruining the boss's life.
Parents who give birth to a second child at an advanced age not only harm the child but also pit themselves, which is a very stupid act. The eldest bears a heavy burden, marriage is blocked, young children and young girls cannot live in a healthy original family, nor can they grow up well, and your own old age will not be happy anywhere.
Keigo Higashino has a passage in "Shisheng": "Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but they can't choose their parents, what kind of cards are issued to you, you can only try to play it well." ”
Qin Yao was soft-hearted again and again, compromised with her parents, and allowed her parents to infringe on her own interests, which not only encouraged her parents to nibble on their daughters, but also made others dare not marry her. With such a brother and a demon wife, men are bound to become a cash cow for their family, which man is willing to bear such a burden?
To put it bluntly, her tragedy is not only caused by her parents, but also related to herself.
END.
Today's topic: Who do you think Qin Yao should blame for becoming an elderly leftover woman? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.