After more than three years, the mother slowly understood: to raise a child to be worry-free, not to read a few more parenting books and take a few more classes, but to learn to follow human nature, know what the child thinks and wants, and be able to hold it moderately.
1⃣️ There is a relationship before there is discipline
Only by establishing intimacy with the child can the child feel confident and safe, which can prompt the child to show good behavior. Pay attention to the observation and you will find that as long as you stay close to your child, your child will naturally be much easier to bring.
Therefore, regardless of whether you usually spend a lot of time with your children, take out 15 minutes of high-quality company time every day. Of course, it is not to accompany it, but to put down the mobile phone to accompany the child to play with the child's things, do not interrupt, judge or refute in the middle, the child says how to play, immerse yourself as a child.
After 15 minutes, you will find that your child is much closer to you in an instant and is more willing to listen to you.
2⃣️ Be less reasonable and chat more
Teacher Zeng Shiqiang said: "The best way to let children listen is to chat as a husband and wife, rather than teaching him directly." Gossip is human nature, and what is told directly to him may not necessarily care, but hearsay will be convinced.
Therefore, if you want your child to understand some truths and rules, don't tell him dryly, it is easier for the child to listen to it when it is integrated into the couple's small talk.
For example, I want my child to like kindergarten more. While the child was playing with toys, I secretly said to my father: "Today the kindergarten teacher sent me a message, saying that your son is very independent, he goes to the toilet by himself, hangs towels, and takes the initiative to help wipe the table, and eats very well." It's all about liking your son. "In the next few days, when talking about kindergarten, my son was very happy and proud, and said that there was a teacher who liked him very much.
3⃣️ Try to praise him like that for what kind of child you want
American psychologist William James said: "One of the deep intentions of human nature is the desire to be praised, admired, and respected. If you want your child to be better, go in the direction you expect and often encourage him to praise him instead of suppressing him.
I want my child to be assertive and talk more
Mom would love to hear your thoughts on this matter, and your thoughts are always very special.
Your idea is good, you are really handsome when you first published your idea.
I want my child to be more confident and talk more
You've done a great job, and mom is proud of you.
Mom has always felt that you are a sensible child who knows what to do and what not to do.
I want my child to be more independent and talk more
You learn to dress yourself, and independent children are really attractive.
You're becoming more and more independent, and Mom thinks you'll soon be a man.
4⃣️ Nurture more and manage less people.
The "heart" of parenting is large, and if the heart is well raised, people will naturally not be bad.
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Give him unconditional love
Tell your child that you don't need to be anyone, you just need to be yourself, no matter what you are, mom will always love you and support you.
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Give him understanding and acceptance
Allow the child to be a child, playful, noisy, crying, and eating are accepted, do not need adult standards to require him, but tell him that in order for everyone to be comfortable, there are some rules that need to be followed
Do the above 4 points, it is really not so difficult to manage children well~
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