Faced with the fact of breaking up, different personalities, people with different emotional investments will have different reactions.
The root cause of emotional breakdown usually stems from the accumulation of negative emotions between years of getting along. Disappointment, grievances, anger accumulated for a long time, will inevitably use a certain flashpoint to make a complete decision, of course, this may also contain external factors, just like Song Zelin in "A Year Without Work", his resolute change of heart, there are many years of dissatisfaction with his girlfriend, but also because of the intervention of a third party, it has to be crisp.
However, no matter who is right and who is wrong, after the breakup, if a woman insists on focusing on these 3 things, she will really lose.
Struggle with whether the other person loves or not loves himself
After the breakup, the most feared thing is to still entangle the other party's feelings for himself, no matter whether the initial love is true or not, the change of heart at this moment must be true, continue to obsess about the past, can only make themselves more difficult.
Tangled questioning, in fact, may just be our hope, because no one is willing to face a "dead debt" that cannot be recovered, and this sunk cost is constantly reminding us of our failure and incompetence, and we are also feeling heartache for our original efforts.
But continuing to dwell on love and non-love can only make yourself more miserable and lose more.
Maybe the separation is not necessarily a one-sided problem, and the person who left decisively must be because he didn't care so much. Whether he has ever loved or not really doesn't mean much, as long as it is true and clear, he does not love at the moment, it is enough. Instead of wasting time, it is better to run himself and his life better, so that he can become the person who regrets leaving in the future.
At this time, it is better to read a few books, or go out of the house, and travel to the next trip to help you.
Doubts also want to reunite
Breakups may not necessarily be old and dead, may be in contact with each other for various reasons, and women are most afraid of because of some of each other's words and deeds, misunderstandings and even plans to reunite.
An ex who has broken up his hands, still "showing kindness" is not necessarily love, it may be that he is not so good at the moment, instinctively seeking comfort, may be too good, so the despicable only want to play ambiguous.
After women are separated, they also put their minds on analyzing whether the other party's behavior is still interesting to themselves, which will make themselves a joke and consume the most precious time.
No matter what the other party's purpose is, since he gave up his feelings at the beginning, he did not have a good time at the moment to retreat to the second place, what is the meaning.
Doubting the other person's motives, one possibility is true, because after separating from you, he has a bad life, the successor did not bring him a good life, and the other possibility is nothing more than you think too much, nothing more.
Instead of taking the time and energy to distinguish whether the other party wants to reunite in the end, whether they are still worried about themselves, it is better to spend time with the new opposite sex and start a new relationship.
The real strength of a woman is not to black out and delete, but everything about that person cannot affect her emotions at all.
Face this person calmly, separate and think wildly, the other party's ideas about themselves, then this life will lose to their own innocence and innocence.
Confirm that the other person is not a scumbag
Whether the other party is a scumbag, whether he wants to tease his feelings from the beginning, separated and still tangled up thinking about these problems, is futile.
What's more, when you doubt whether the other party loves yourself, the usual answer is not so loving, and when you analyze whether the other party is a scumbag, in fact, there is a high probability that the answer is yes.
Those seemingly reasonable reasons for separation, or like Song Zelin's kind of borrowing to play with "calm" as a prelude scorer, is to force you to leave, is it not obvious that the scumbag has long been obvious, and what else to confirm? Thoughts? Is it to prove that they are not so miserable and not so bad, or that the relationship between the two people has not ended completely, or just to prove that their years of youth sacrifice are not so stupid.
Endless proof that it only makes you look more humble, but also wastes more precious time and enjoys better feelings and life.
What a woman is most afraid of losing is not a man's love, or the feelings exchanged for youth, but because of a relationship, do not know how to grow, affecting the future life.
END
Text/Relief Emotional Station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at the restoration of romantic relationships, marital contradictions and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original ecological family. The lonely journey of life, listening to your grievances and pressures, helping visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, saving their lovers, managing their feelings, and striving to become happier people.