Hello everyone, I'm Lady Bird.
That day I saw a girl backstage asking "How can I have a good relationship?" and I was confused for a moment.
To be honest, this question is really hard to answer. It is difficult to fall in love because two independent individuals have a relationship that needs to be maintained, and each relationship has its own correct way of opening.
Some people say that you have to keep growing, you must communicate and learn to solve problems, but continuous growth and communication need to cooperate with each other, and your efforts alone are ultimately in vain.
Some people say to be sincere enough, but the other half's sincerity may be disguised or temporary. There have also been mentions that you have to stay attractive, and as for this, it may not matter if you don't love you, no amount of attraction will work.
I agree that these suggestions are useful in some ways, but the keys to making relationships harmonious and lasting may not apply to everyone.
I have seen a blogger's video before, she said that there is an interesting phenomenon around her, those long-lasting feelings are the parties did not give too much expectations to this love, did not think that the two people can always be together, simply to enjoy love, the result is unconsciously slowly become long-
In her opinion, the key to making the relationship more long-lasting is moderation.
Maybe when it comes to "swinging rotten", some people will think of the negative side, after all, in Baidu Encyclopedia, the word and "broken jar and broken" have a similar meaning, and even now there is a term called "swinging love", you may think that this is not to make me not seriously love?!
Don't get me wrong, the "moderate rot" here can be explained in many dimensions.
To give a few examples, we previously conducted a live broadcast to answer everyone's emotional confusion, and in that question session, a sister asked: "Just finished the mother's order, the first love is very fond of each other, do I have anything to pay attention to?"
And the advice we give is: go with the flow. Being able to be with people you like for a long time is a beautiful expectation that everyone will have, but it is difficult to meet the right person in the first relationship.
For the girl who has just fallen in love, the moderate mess at the moment is "it is enough to relax and love".
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A sister asked: "We have been in a relationship since we were students, although we have just entered the society, but we have been together for so many years, do we want to get married."
And the advice we give is: although you have been together for a long time, if you don't end up getting married, people will care about the sunk costs paid for so many years. But both people are still students, neither has stabilized in society, and an intimate relationship will encounter various unpredictable variables, and it is better to observe it than to regret it after marriage.
For girls who are thinking about whether to get married, the moderate mess at this moment is "don't worry, work and life are stable before coming to a conclusion."
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Another sister asked: "I have a good relationship with my other half, but because of the geographical reasons, I always feel that there will be no future, do I want to go to another city for the sake of the other party?" ”
And the advice we give is: if you want to go to another city for yourself, you can, but for love, I hope you don't have to be impulsive, and you should think carefully.
For those girls who don't know whether to pay more for love, the moderate mess at this time is to "think more about yourself and focus on yourself as much as possible" .
You will find that all people want to be able to draw a firm conclusion about their intimacy through our analysis, to be able to characterize their love. But in fact, the advice we can give is the essence of "moderate rot":
1. Maintain laxity in love, don't project too many expectations for yourself and each other in this relationship, and don't have too much dependence and demand for each other, otherwise it is easy to be disappointed.
2. Don't think so much in the early days of love, the most important thing you should do in an intimate relationship is to enjoy love and stay happy.
3. He is just your boyfriend before marriage, don't give up everything for the other person to give, put yourself in the first place to think, and then think about other options.
In this analysis, whether this seemingly unreliable love advice seems to have some truth. In the final analysis, the "pendulum" in life is a kind of moderate relaxation to enjoy happiness, and the "moderate pendulum" in intimate relationships may also make the relationship smoother.
At the end of today, I would like to give you the most critical piece of love advice: If you are in an inappropriate love, so that you do not want to continue, please be sure to give up directly.
Head image / Arren Aaren
Illustration / "Sustained Possible Love? 》