Communication is a bridge for people to understand each other and is an indispensable skill in social interaction. The maintenance of a family relationship is inseparable from it. Couples need it, and parent-child relationship is even more indispensable.
Good communication makes the child's personality and ability can be greatly helped. Therefore, parent-child communication is very important in the growth of children. As their children grow older, parents will notice a change in the way they communicate.
When I was young, my parents basically listened to what my children said, but when I grew up, I became more and more disobedient. Some of the words said by the parents, they will not go to the heart at all. And if you're talking a little more, they'll talk back to you, even more than you do.
01
The cause of communication problems between children and parents
If there is a problem with communication between the child and the parent, they will not understand each other. Why this happens has to do with the character of both the child and the parent.
First, parents are too strong
I don't want to communicate with my children, but I actually have a relationship with my parents. The strong personality of some parents makes children become estranged from their parents. Children often feel that their parents do not understand them at all, even if they say more than they say, they do not say it, and parents will never listen.
In such a situation, the child hates to communicate with his parents, and he will not say anything in his heart. Always under the strong education, even if there is an idea, if you want to communicate, you will be "crushed" by the powerful atmosphere of your parents.
Second, parents only know how to say it to themselves
Children who are reluctant to communicate with their parents also have because their parents talk too much, only know what they express, and do not care about their children's expressions. The communication becomes a child's monologue, and the child may be excited when he starts listening.
But as their expression is interrupted, they will be very angry and feel that they are not valued. Emotions become very poor, and communication becomes a word for parents.
Third, children cannot understand what parents say
When people express themselves, they need to have a certain degree of logic and organization. However, some parents, the ability in this regard is relatively lacking, and when communicating with their children, they always lack logic, and they also speak from east to west.
Some will express the meaning they want to express clearly, so that children cannot understand. These can affect the communication between children and parents.
Fourth, the parents themselves are people who do not speak in words and deeds
In life, people often say that parents are the first teachers of children, and every child has the shadow of parents. If the parents themselves are people who are inconsistent with their words and deeds, the child cannot be well educated.
What you ask your child to do, but the parents themselves do not do. This trust in the child's heart will become a disappointment, and once the parent loses the trust in the parent, he will lose the desire to communicate and express to the parent.
Fifth, parents are usually indifferent to their children
Do not communicate with parents, and communicate with parents frequently. It is also related to the fact that parents usually do not pay attention to it and always ignore it. This usual indifference causes the child's cognition to feel that his own affairs are completely insignificant.
Begin to doubt your parents, believing that they don't love themselves. Love is to work by yourself, and the most important thing you care about every day is how much money you earn. There is always such a thought, and the communication between the child and the parent is bound to have problems.
02
What impact does a communication problem affect your child
Communication between parents and children is always problematic and even becomes speechless. What are the adverse effects on children? The biggest impact is the understanding of each other and the establishment of an intimate relationship between parents and children.
After the communication problems between the two, the child becomes very willful and is prone to some excessively extreme behavior towards the parents. Not only can the parents' education not be carried out, but the child's heart will become very depressed, and the personality will also be distorted, which is not conducive to the development of the body and mind.
03
Find back the communication with the child, how the parents should be good
To regain communication with children, both parents and children must change. Parental change is particularly important, and children can only change if they are aware of this. How do you do that?
First of all, parents should do a meeting to listen to parents
Parents and children must first learn to listen, parents can speak, to express. But also give children the opportunity and space to express themselves. If it's just your own words, this is not interactive and effective communication. It is likely to affect the parent-child relationship and is not conducive to the solution of the problem. So to solve the problem of communication, you must be listening.
The second is the interaction after listening
It is a very good beginning for children to express and family to listen, and after the communication is determined, parents give reasonable guidance for hearing. Children can be allowed to accept it on their own, and this way of making suggestions can help them correct their mistakes and become better and better.
There's also the ability to build communication in the game
In the game with children, it is the smoothest and easiest way for parents to establish communication. Children like to play, when communicating, the atmosphere in the game will be better, the acceptance will be stronger. The choice of games can be arranged by the parents or the children themselves.
Finally, there is the communication of some special cases
Dealing with the above three points, there is also the communication of some special situations. For example, when crying and being wronged, communication should be mainly to find reasons for appeasement. And some unreasonable communication should choose when they are calm.
In other words, the way of communication is also different in different situations. Parents should communicate according to the actual situation of the child and can quickly resolve it.
Message:
The maintenance of the intimacy of parent-child relationship is inseparable from effective communication between each other. To do this, you must know how to think differently and communicate in different ways to optimize the parent-child relationship. Pay attention to tone and attitude when communicating. Emotional peace, you can enter the child's heart, establish loving communication, parent-child relationship become more harmonious.