"Everyone has their own thoughts in their hearts; looking at the essence through the phenomenon, here is the lack of boats and the crossing of people"
A lady asked me such a question.
"What will my future spouse be like?"
"What kind of person will I spend the rest of my life with?"
For such a macro question, it is indeed too difficult to answer.
Because everyone has their own ideas and three views.
We should not interfere, or even guide.
Just say a little advice.
If someone else can get a little idea out of it, that's great.
From my personal point of view, I think there is a very important premise.
This is one of my own ideas, that is, we must match the three views.
That is what we call "smelly".
There may be some success stories.
But it's too tiring to run in.
Imagine the endless sea breeze blowing towards your face.
For this vastness of the sea, I suddenly sighed.
At this time, the people around me came to a sentence: "Don't look, the sea S is over."
She was right, but it was a shame.
Speechless for a moment, embarrassed at both ends.
The goal of mate selection
Everyone has a white moonlight or a cinnabar mole in their mind.
But that doesn't mean that the last combination must be between the two.
This can be a yearning, a kind of expectation that was once beautiful.
Ultimately what you're looking for is the right fit.
The mindset when you're in love
What are the appropriate prerequisites?
According to relevant scholars.
Compared with ancient times, the modern motivation for marriage should be in the following order.
Love comes first, reproduction comes second, and economy comes third.
Of course, this is not for everyone.
Therefore, it should still be premised on love, and love has always been a two-way street.
This has nothing to do with how much is paid.
For example.
I probably do more things, and then you just say thank you.
It may not seem to outsiders to be called reciprocity, but in my mind I come.
All I want to get is your response, which is a dynamic balance for me.
And don't be burdened.
When giving is willing, even if it is different from what you envision.
There is no need to be angry.
Looking forward to the look of love
What are the appropriate criteria?
The secretion of dopamine is called "passionate love".
In an instant, this is the so-called one-life person.
The satisfaction of endorphins is called "buddy love".
There is no flash of moment, but often care for each other in daily life.
Find the right one.
Try to follow a basic tendency: give to each other.
Understand a basic point: love is not purely spiritual attachment, but also includes a physiological basis.
Consider four aspects.
What both sides get in the course of their interactions exceeds their expectations.
Both parties can reciprocate with each other in the process of interaction.
In the process of interaction, both parties believe that what they get from the other party is higher than that of other people of the opposite sex.
Both sides felt unable to leave each other and began to hope to be able to restrain themselves in the form of contracts.
The criterion for judging is.
1. Attachment, when lonely, will seek the comfort and companionship of the other party.
2. Lita, when the other party is excellent, will feel that they are also happy.
When the other party has deficiencies, it will also show a high degree of tolerance.
3. Intimate, physically voluntary close contact.
The so-called perfect formula for love should be intimacy + passion + commitment.
Expectations for subsequent marriages
So which one is preferred determines the type of marriage.
Love type
It is because of the appearance that attracts.
So it needs to match your basic aesthetic characteristics.
Of course, if it is only because of this, then the follow-up may be broken due to lack of power.
Utilitarian type
This is what we often call "door-to-door pairs".
This is special because marriage is generally a step after a commitment to love.
But this one, in addition to love.
It is based on origin, education, property, social relations, etc.
Both sides can be satisfied with each other.
The disadvantage is that there is no moisture of love, just like a ship going out to sea.
Without experiencing the baptism of wind and waves, it may not be so stable when it encounters problems.
Equal cooperation and division of labor
This is a good one.
Both husband and wife can divide their work according to their own characteristics and enter their own roles.
Be aware of each other's place in the family and have a strong sense of responsibility.
Family life is relatively harmonious and stable.
The above represents only one point of view.
Everyone has their own wonderful life, but also have their own understanding.
Hopefully on the way forward.
All the way to the rainbow, full of freedom. (Under the premise of following public order and good customs, moral etiquette)