If your child suffers from depression, why do parents need to reflect? What should parents reflect on? How do you know if introspection is in place?
Generally speaking, knowing that their children are depressed, most parents react to it: a confused face! How can I get depression? Why? What is depression?
Parents in this situation may rarely face the following problems:
How much time has been spent on children in recent times? Is it too little? Or is it too much?
Understand how your child really feels?
Do you know the specifics of your child's school?
How many parent-child interactions are there in a week?
In a month, there are several in-depth exchanges, more than ten minutes of conversation?
Have you ever neglected your child?
Is the child lacking in love? Conversely, is there overprotectiveness? spoil?
If parents can't answer the above questions clearly, or feel that they are not satisfied with the answers, they should reflect on it.
First, why do parents need to reflect?
When children suffer from depression, more than 50% of the factors are in the family and parents, and some people even believe that all the responsibility should be attributed to the parents.
The purpose of parental reflection is to find the factors related to the parents of the child's depression, that is, the parents need to do self-transformation and growth, which is very important for solving the problem of children's depression.
There was a teenage helper who had recovered from depression hospitalization and came to me for counseling after he was discharged from the hospital, and the most important focus of his counseling was that if he had another depressive episode, he would ask him to help convince his parents that he must not send him to a psychiatric hospital again.
Obviously, their parent-child relationship is problematic, parents do not respect the child, and they cannot communicate well with each other.
There is also a very touching story, the child is depressed, the parents sent the child to the big hospital in the big city hospital, the mother in order to see the child every week, can accompany the child, but there is no money, had to sleep on the street for more than two months, only nibble on the dry buns, until the child is discharged.
In these examples, parents may love their children very much and are willing to do a lot of giving, but love is not a place, in the process of depression treatment, only think that the child is wrong, in fact, the family, parents, education, love needs, children's cognition, behavior habits, etc., these can only be given to them by parents.
You know, relying only on doctors to really cure your child's depression may be a one-sided and naïve idea.
Second, what is introspection?
Of course, parents should reflect on their responsibilities as parents, the relationship with their children, and what is wrong with their children? Why is that? What are you not doing enough? What is not done well and what is not fulfilling the responsibility?
If you do not have the ability to reflect, you can compare the "list of depression risk factors" above, look at the risk factors of depression, how much do you know?
Especially in the first six items, is there a good family environment for children, and whether children lack love? Or is it too doting, not cultivating the psychological quality of the child, etc., which may lead to the child's depression, and among these factors, is there any lack of what you have done?
If parents find their own problems and change their attitude towards their children, it is itself a help and supportive psychotherapy for their children.
A depressed child I once contacted said that after he was depressed, he didn't want to tell his family at all, he thought that his parents didn't know him at all, nor did they understand what depression was, and if he said it, his family would only scold him. This situation shows how disharmonious the parent-child relationship is, and how rough the parents' attitude towards their children is.
Therefore, parental introspection and transformation are very important and even decisive in the process of helping children treat depression. For childhood and adolescent depression, it is not enough to rely on hospitals and psychological counselors, parents must be involved in treatment.
Third, is the introspection in place?
In the process of reflection, you should know what depression is and why your child gets depression. Parents no longer have complaints and criticisms about their children from the bottom of their hearts, know how to love and accept correctly, and can change their attitudes. It's good to have these feelings.
In fact, when parents really understand their children's feelings and change their attitudes, when children feel the change of parents, this will have a psychotherapeutic effect on children.
Specifically, how do parents know if they're reflecting in place?
1. Parents find their own problems and have the courage to take responsibility;
2. Fully accept the child;
3. Face positively and actively treat!
As a result of introspection, parents adjust their behavior and attitudes, fully accept their children and actively treat them, and give adequate psychological support, so that even if the reflection is in place.
Childhood Adolescent Depression - Child, How Do I Love You?