01
Most women in extramarital relationships are convinced that they can get good results, but the truth is often the opposite.
They are always waiting to be suddenly broken up and abandoned.
Some are because men suddenly want to return to the family, some are because extramarital feelings are discovered, men can't stand the accusations from the surroundings and choose to break up, while some are because men are once again empathetic and don't fall in love, and she has also become yesterday's yellow flower.
No matter which situation the woman encounters above, the ending is always bad.
They can't understand that they were so in love with each other at the beginning, and they had paid so much for this relationship, but how they waited for such an ending.
Their grief, their pain, their bitterness in their hearts have nowhere to vent.
So, why are these exactly?
Women pay so much for extramarital feelings, why are there no good results? This is only because the woman recognizes two wrong things.
02
First thing: Put yourself in the wrong place.
Many women in extramarital relationships will feel that men only have themselves in their hearts and only cope with their wives, but the truth is often the opposite.
If a man has been dragging his feet and refusing to divorce, then in his heart it is likely that his wife is the most important one.
But this truth, many women do not understand, they feel that they are the most important one in a man's heart, and the wife is just a yellow-faced woman.
As a result, they will be unscrupulous and will continue to touch the man's bottom line, just to prove their place in his heart.
In the beginning, when a man is fresh to you, this kind of behavior of yours may be cute in his eyes, but as long as you pass that period, your behavior will completely become unreasonable and ignorant in his eyes.
And because of your comparison, the wife who may have been a little faded in his eyes will also become more pleasing to the eye at this time.
That's why you're suddenly being broken up for no reason.
And that's just one.
There is also a kind of woman who thinks that she has not been able to ascend to the throne, that is because the wife of the family is stalking and does not give divorce.
I felt that as long as the wife of the family compromised, then I would definitely be able to take the position.
So, on their own initiative, they found a showdown with the man's wife.
She may explain the situation and then let the other party give way, or she may try to retreat into the future, like the heroine in Qiong Yao's play, tearfully repenting, and secretly expecting the other party to be able to consciously withdraw on her own.
If this does not work, then she may still find a man's child, whether it is to win over, or to force the wife of the family to compromise, in short, to use such a bad trick.
And this kind of behavior that seems reasonable to her is the most intolerable for men.
You may feel that you are the most important in a man's heart, and men who do these things will at most be angry for a while, and it will be good to be angry.
But a man may care more about this kind of thing than you think, you look for his wife, if you coax well, you may be able to make him forgive you, but you look for his children, he may really go crazy with you, and even directly break up with you.
This is the consequence of putting yourself in the wrong position.
Therefore, in such a relationship, the woman must put herself in the right position, but also see the man's heart clearly, do not wait self-righteously, and do not eagerly use hurt others to get what she wants.
In such a relationship, it is not too late to choose to leave at any time, and when you are soberly aware of your position in the other person's heart, it is the best choice to withdraw and leave.
03
The second thing: ignoring the difficulties and amplifying the "love".
In fact, extramarital feelings are more and more acute than normal gender feelings, and often when women fall into a relationship, they will ignore the difficulties they face and will amplify "love".
Women are always prone to lose their minds when it comes to emotional issues, and always feel that love is better than everything.
Women will even abandon their dignity and self for love and become the most hated look they have ever been.
They will subconsciously amplify "love" and ignore difficulties.
And the difficulty is to say that ignoring can be ignored.
The intervention of family members, the sight of those around them, the days of hiding and not being able to lift their heads, this is still in the absence of children.
If you have children, it is more difficult. First of all, whether or not to go to the hukou is a question, not to mention the matter of children going to school later.
Even if these practical difficulties can be solved, the child needs the company of the father after all.
Even the father of the child is willing to ignore his wife and children and is willing to stay with you all the time, but when the child grows up, how do you explain your relationship to the child will make it difficult for you to talk about it.
Something that you might have felt justified in the first place, when you look at the child's clear eyes, you will have an indescribable feeling of shame.
And when this improper relationship is known to the child, how do you let the child treat himself? This will be a stain on the child's life, and it is likely to bring psychological shadows to the child.
I think, as a mother, this is probably the biggest "difficulty" encountered in this relationship.
And that's not all.
You may also be beaten by a man's wife, and you may also be beaten into a unit.
Social death may be encountered, and there may be internet violence.
Maybe relatives and friends will no longer want to associate with you, maybe your parents will be disgraced because of you.
After all this has happened to you, at the end of the day, you may not be able to wait for the location of the main chamber.
It's okay that people are willing to be responsible for you all the time, but if a man gives you up again after you lose everything, then you want to get back up, and it may really take a lot of courage.
Some women may still be unwilling to believe that they will fall into such a situation when they see this, and they will also say that he loves himself so much, how can he do this to himself.
Here, I want to remind these women that his love for you is just what you think is "love". Whether a man loves you or not, and how much he loves you, is judged by his usual and reaction when he encounters things.
He may say he loves you every day and will coax you with sweet words every day, but once something happens, he will choose to escape or stand directly with his wife.
In this way, can you still say that he loves you?
So women must have a clear understanding of the feelings between you and do not live in their own imaginary world.
If a woman ignores the difficulties and magnifies the "love", then what awaits her will only be endless pain and helplessness.
Why bother? Why bother?
Women want love, want a vigorous, heart-wrenching love, there is no need to get it from a husband with a wife, to believe in their charm, there will always be a suitable person to come and bring you what you want.
04
Therefore, only by correcting these two wrong understandings can women pass through the fog and see the true face of extramarital feelings.
There are so many pure and beautiful feelings outside marriage, and some are just "love" that they take what they need and think they want.
So, no matter how you started, from the moment you find out that the other person is married, you have to put away all your feelings and force yourself to get out of it.
Don't continue the relationship because of a false perception or a moment of softness or reluctance, and then after suffering all the suffering that can be suffered, and finally be ruthlessly abandoned by the man.
Don't overestimate yourself, and don't feel like this kind of thing can't happen to you.
You must know that the original match is also young, the original match has also been a youth, the original match and your current man also had a close time, no matter how sweet it was at the beginning, isn't there still you now?
So, who can guarantee that there won't be another person between you? Who can guarantee that he won't be as cold to you as he is to his wife?
Moreover, he is not necessarily indifferent to his wife, after all, no one has divorced him yet, has he?
In his heart, you may be the outsider, and even when he makes a will, he may leave all his property to his wife and children, and you will not get anything.
Therefore, women must polish their eyes to see the true face of extramarital feelings, and those who have not stepped into it should resolutely not step in, and those who have already stepped in must also rationally make the most correct choice.