Think about it, but only if the relationship is worth their return.
I said that love is not empty, and so is a breakup, do you think that the breakup is really just that he doesn't love you, or that the other party has a new love?
In fact, not necessarily, the vast majority of people say that they do not love, generally one party has accumulated too much dissatisfaction in the heart, thus consuming the like of you. So you will break up, it must be that something has happened to you that irritated the other person, which made him want to separate from you.
Because the energy of each person's life is limited, when the giving type feels that it has been hollowed out, it naturally sees the selfish nature of the taker, and will not be stupid enough to continue to be squeezed and used, or in other words, their instinctive self-preservation mechanism will keep them away from such people from this kind of person.
This is why I always say that people are animals that seek profit and avoid harm, if you are a clear person, know how to pay, understand and be grateful, then the other party is naturally willing to be with you for a long time. But if you don't think about him and don't care if he's unhappy, then after a long time, he will naturally not be able to bear the feeling of negative energy, and he will choose to leave.
So when you've been broken up, stop always struggling with "Why doesn't he love me anymore?" Instead, think about it in turn, "Why should the other person love you?" ”
Remember, not loving doesn't need a reason, and a person who loves you at the moment must be "you deserve" and not "he should".
You also don't feel like you're being broken up because you're not good enough, and I'm telling you, when a guy wants to leave you, all your goodness will be a burden on him.
So after the breakup, even if you humble yourself to please and apologize, it is useless, after all, when you are together, your commitment and confession have been heard countless times, if you can really do it, how can he leave disappointed? So if you want to save, the most important thing you need to do is how to make the other party change his mind and feel that it is worth it to continue to be with you.
Here I can teach you two steps:
To understand, he will break up with you, must be he is very disappointed in this relationship, feel that he can not see the future, so if at this moment, you still with disappointment and resentment to entangle each other, did not understand what the other party wants, then all your current redemption behavior, will only let the other party see your bad side, will only make your value continue to decrease.
Because he wants to break up, more because this relationship has brought him a very bad experience, he does not want to repeat the past disappointments and quarrels, so what he does not love is actually the way you treat him, the feeling experience you bring him.
At this time, you have to give him enough time to digest your negative emotions, and your calm acceptance will also make him change his negative image of you, which will make him feel that you are actually very good and understanding, which lays a good communication foundation for your subsequent rescue actions.
There is a misunderstanding here, that is, I found that many people feel that to make up for each other's emotional needs, it is desperate to be good to him, to express how much they love each other, but this is useless, because no matter how much you give and express it sincerely, he may not be able to feel it.
It's like if you hit someone on your walk, and it's useful to apologize, but if you walk and hit someone and knock him into the hospital, your active apology is still useful, but it can't solve the problem.
So got it? Your current emotional problems have accumulated a lot, the other party's heart is cold, but you hope to make the other party forget the past and not blame the past, do you think it is possible? This is simply difficult for strong people, and the ex feels at most that you are taking, not your sincere remorse.
We all know that love can't just be lip service, so the most important step in redemption is to figure out what the other person really wants from us. What is his biggest concern now? What do you want most? What are his needs? What do I need to change...
When you think through these problems, you can really realize the emotional crisis that exists between you, and when you reflect on these problems, and improve your previous mode of getting along, and also change the shortcomings of the other party who hates you, then the other party will naturally rekindle hope for your relationship, and will naturally turn back, understand?
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C