After a breakup, how can I get back together?

Original question:

I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half and he loved me very much, but we broke up anyway (I mentioned). In the year after the breakup, he still took good care of me and repeatedly showed his desire to get back together. I refused. I haven't been in touch for a while lately, I sent him a message the other day because of the cat we had together, and his attitude was very cold. Now I also want to go everywhere again, how can I mention that compounding will be better? Is the success rate high?

It's really a very typical example of a counterattack, very reflective of the nature of the chase in love, you don't want when he licks you, he leaves you have to chase back.

A simple substitution can get two clues, one is that your boyfriend was broken up in love and can't help it, and one is that you gave him a buffer period of nearly a year, and finally you fought back.

Let's talk about the psychology of boys first.

He was broken up with a lot of love for you, and then continued to take care of you to save you for nearly a year, there is a 70% chance that he has been your licking dog all the time, 30% chance that he is just following such a way to let himself go, ugly to say, taking care of you to save you, is his pastime.

Licking the dog, he is actually quite depressed, you accept his care while rejecting his compound, if the reason for your breakup is that you unilaterally feel less liked, then he will always have a reluctant potential emotion during this time, and finally will slowly develop into a revenge psychology, and when you fight back, he will probably smile coldly.

When he stops sending you messages and his response to you becomes cold, there is a high probability that his attention has been almost diverted from you, which may be human, which is the most serious situation!

The way to make a superficial judgment is that you look at his circle of friends, social APP, etc., whether there are some new faces updated, or whether there have been some major deletions in the circle of friends, and the display surface has become different from the past.

But in any case, if you save a person for a year and he is still indifferent, then if that person suddenly wants to turn back, you may subconsciously show coldness, which is a precursor to retaliation, but this is still the scope that can be repaired.

This situation is basically because of some changes in his work and life, which may be a promotion, or the intensity of his work has become higher, or something has happened at home.

The question mentions 'I haven't been in touch for a while', so you can try to find clues from this time.

If it is because he has made some mistakes, from the perspective of a girl, if he really loves a person, unless there is a matter of principle, basically boys can be coaxed, and the subject is the initiative to mention the breakup, then it is possible that the principle issue is involved, so the 30% possibility is extended. He didn't really take it seriously, maybe you think he took good care of you, but that was just a small part of his daily attention.

The way to judge is to make a love calibration evaluation based on his past love style and the subject, because you don't know whether you think he loves you very much or not on the objective level.

Let's talk about redemption.

The subject provides fewer reference clues, I only provide advice for my subjective consciousness, personally speaking, I am more inclined to the first, the boy is a bit of a dog licking situation. Of course, he doesn't necessarily have to lick the dog, maybe he's just habitually giving, and he has a good trait of being more good at taking care of people.

His psychological changes are absolutely traceable, he will probably show a more collapsed mood at the beginning of the breakup, so he took almost a year to recover, the advantage of the subject can be sure, the market value of marriage and love may be slightly higher than the other party (MV).

The subject has repeatedly refused to compound, which can roughly judge that the subjective consciousness of the subject will be stronger, is a girl with a more self-idea, a slightly higher value, a strong subjective consciousness of the girl in the market is indeed easier to attract other boys, then the feeling of bringing to the boyfriend will be that your pu value may be a little high.

If I were the guy, these wouldn't be a problem if I had a good financial ability, and I wouldn't be able to be a licking dog because I had enough confidence in my hardware and business, which meant that the subject's ex might be a boy who was slightly deficient in terms of finances, hardware, and business.

Speaking of the status quo, the current message will be returned, but it is relatively flat, it can be speculated that the predecessor has little mental dependence on the subject, then the possessiveness will also be reduced, so the first to save the first to exclude the use of some opposite sex intervention to stimulate the other party, that will have the opposite effect, so that the other party is more certain of the idea of putting down.

The only thing that is certain is that because there is almost 2 years of emotional investment from love to redemption, the subject's predecessor will form an inertia, that is, he will maintain an undefined frequency to continue to pay attention to the subject.

Therefore, the general direction of the adjustment of the human design is to reduce the MV value according to the situation, increase some elements that are close to the ground, reduce the PU value, and increase some stable elements.

The subject has a cat, this cat is raised by you together, but not as an excuse for you to contact, but as an excuse for you to share, a bit of a mouthful, probably meaning:

Contact Excuse: What if my cat seems to have a fever?

Excuse to share: A photo of a cat lying on a quilt with the text "It's cold and it's starting to step on milk now"

Your ex is sensitive to your behavior because he continues to pay attention to you, and if he is still in dog licking mode, he will definitely say that he will accompany you to the hospital with the cat, but now that he has let himself go, the instinct will resist him to continue to pay for you!

What follows is a careful trial of what happened during the time when you weren't in touch, whether it was a new joy or an event.

Many people's thinking is, then do I want to be good to him now, make up for it, in fact, no, he has been cold from the beginning, it means that he has a revenge mentality, you have no reason to suddenly have a heart for him, for him your heart is easy to become a kind of 'fish hook' pleasure.

The right way is to thin the water and long stream, subtly to eliminate his negative emotions, and turn the revenge psychology into an affirmation of him, a positive emotional feedback:

"Ah, I've worked so hard for so long, and finally I've got something!"