If two people want to separate at the same time, it is natural to be happy, but if they are inexplicably broken up, what should they do?
Just like the heavy rain in the recent hit drama "A Year Without a Job", the heart wants to save money only to buy a house and get married with the boyfriend who has been in love for 10 years, but because of the intervention of the man Xiao San, he quickly encountered the end of being broken up.
The encounter of the heroine in the play may be a portrayal of many women, but in the face of such an emotional state, the most feared is these 3 behavioral mentalities, if you do not understand, it is difficult to let yourself come out of the whirlpool of pain.
I am most afraid of nostalgia
One has decided to leave, while the other is foolishly in the same place to remember that year, and the little beauty of the past has become the greatest torture and harm at this moment.
The door of that person's heart has been closed, and he is most afraid that his memory is still opening, like a scavenger, who knows pain and knows that it is useless, but he is still intoxicated with his own feelings and cannot extricate himself and cannot get out.
Nostalgia for the past seems to be long-term affection, in fact, it is indecisive that cannot be put down, cannot change the past, cannot affect the future, and thus loses the present because of intoxication in the past.
Since a change of heart is an indisputable truth, a breakup is an irreversible fact, and what needs to be done is to get out as soon as possible, rather than staying in the past and mourning alone.
I am most afraid of self-abandonment
What is even more sad than the breakup itself is that while you are still trying to plan for the future, you have been ruthlessly abandoned by the other party.
Suddenly broken up, the proposing party seems to be reasonable and light, but the receiving party is like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, so it is easy to drill the tip of the horn under the emotions of reluctance or unwillingness to be wronged, but in the case of being broken up, the most feared thing is self-abandonment, continuous self-torture, in addition to making you look more haggard and ugly, so that the other party feels that separation is right, there will be no one to pity you in this relationship.
No matter what the reason for the success, whether it is willing at this moment or not, if it is a fact that cannot be changed, the youth feelings have been lost and cannot be recovered, do not help each other to consume and torture their future,
Only if you become better yourself, will let that person regret that he left, only to ensure that he is better than before, there is a chance for him (her) to weigh down the reluctance, turn back to you to repair the relationship again, turn back to eat grass or not eat by you, the key First of all, the premise of these is that they are still good enough, rather than simply still the name on the ID card has not changed.
After dividing hands and self-exile, decadent dogs are disgusted, that person will definitely not feel guilty because of his evil deeds, but may feel happy to leave, and even be full of superiority for his "charm".
Girls really want to learn the spirit of the heavy rain in the play, should eat, should play, especially do not give up the efforts to make money, in the lowest stage, the most afraid is to give up on themselves, then life will become more miserable.
I am most afraid of self-inflicted debt collection
In the face of being broken up, Heavy Rain questioned Song Zelin's many years of vices in the restaurant, and also counted his own sacrifices and grievances, while the man replied contemptuously, "If you feel that 10 years are forbearance, then don't put up with it."
Love or marriage, are all emotionally implicated cooperation, when one party is determined to terminate the cooperation, then your investment will not be returned.
The self-moved begging, except for being moved by oneself in an instant, for one's own sacrifice and stupidity, really will not have any value and effect.
Make the other person realize that regret has become better and stronger, and there are also factors that his successor is not satisfactory, rather than relying on it in the begging.
At this point, there is no need to liquidate the dead debts that cannot be recovered, the money still has evidence, and the daily payment of feelings can only stop the loss in time.
Encounter is fate, love is luck, separation is doomed, do not disturb each other's determination, is the ability and decisiveness that adults need to have, do not be a confused person who misses the past, cruelty to yourself, disrespect for future lovers.
What to do after being broken up "A man don't be afraid" warns women:
Be sure to be self-reliant
Independent spirit, independent thinking, independent economy, independent personality, independence to be brave, brave to face life, in the face of all the storms in life, this courage comes from the inner strength, only if you are strong enough, you will not be afraid of any mutation.
Put it down
Everyone may have a museum of feelings deep inside, leaving you and his past behind in order to get off to a better start. When you really let go, calm and gentle, you can enjoy the life of the moment, give yourself the strength to grow faster, and live a better life.
It is said in the book that in fact, there is no such thing as fate or fate in this world, and even if there is such a thing, a good fate or a bad fate, a good fate or a sinful fate.
In fact, the most fundamental thing is still in their own choice and control ability at different stages, fate has nothing to do with Providence, but in choosing what people cling to and what they choose.
Bear the price
People's life is to pay the price to grow, so no matter how big the price, once paid, it is impossible to take back, then in the face of the fact that can not be changed, learn to face acceptance, within their own ability to make it as good as possible, is the top priority of each of us who has experienced being broken up, rather than self-pity and mourning for the unworthy person.
In the stage of your healing yourself, remember the author's words, please stop wasting your life energy to blame others, bravely face your own responsibility, let go of attachment, and push open the door to the inner journey without fear
END
Text/Relief Emotional Station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at the restoration of romantic relationships, marital contradictions and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original ecological family. The lonely journey of life, listening to your grievances and pressures, helping visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, saving their lovers, managing their feelings, and striving to become happier people.