As the saying goes, "Poor parents in the world." ”
As a parent, I am eager to give everything I have to my children. Unfortunately, children may not necessarily understand, and even if they perceive, they may not be grateful.
There are always some children who have lost their conscience and have forgotten even the grace of their parents.
When children are young, parents can control them. It is not until the child grows up and is free from the discipline of his parents that his nature will be reflected.
Therefore, as a parent, when you are old and really need to be taken care of, the filial piety of your children will be clear at a glance.
Children who are not filial piety have the following four characteristics, and if they change their ways, they are encouraged.
01
Children who have been spoiled since childhood only know how to take, not how to reciprocate.
There is a saying in the countryside: "The children that parents love the most are often the most useless children." The sons and daughters who can be relied upon are those who have not been favored since childhood and who are often scolded. ”
Why? On the one hand, children who are highly regarded by their parents will read more, and then go far away to make a living in other places, and when they take root in other places, they will have less contact with their parents; on the other hand, such children are easy to learn badly, and the parents' discipline is not too strict, resulting in them growing up and becoming "waste".
Parents have always been the backing of their children, and their children will be lawless. Anything vicious is paid for by the parents.
For example, if a child steals something, the parents do not punish it, but instead compete to send money to the victim. The child thinks that if he does the right thing, he can continue to do it in the future; the child likes to gamble cards, and the parents not only do not control, but help him to return the gambling debt.
Spoiled children take everything for granted. If his parents can't continue to care for him, this home becomes a thorn in his eye.
02
Children whose parents are very poor in character are like learners and very cruel.
In the "Augmented Sage Text", it is written: "Filial piety also gives birth to filial piety, and disobedience also gives birth to rebellious children." ”
I have seen a story: a middle-aged man, seeing his dying old father, felt that it was a burden. I found a basket and two ropes, and together with my son, carried the old father to the forest, turned his head and left.
The son was behind him, grinding and rubbing, picking up the ropes and baskets. The middle-aged man asked, "Son, what are you doing?" ”
The son said, "Stay, when you're old, you'll be able to use it." ”
The middle-aged man was taken aback, took the old father home, and never said anything disgusted again.
In real life, there are many parents who do not understand the principle of "teaching by example". Life is not improper, work is not hard, but also often complain about society, blame the elders, do not know, children see in the eyes, remember in the heart, and finally become action.
Parents who are good at eating and lazy should not expect their children to be diligent; parents who are morally corrupt, do not think that their children will accumulate virtue and happiness. When the children have been "fixed", it is more difficult to correct them.
The character of the parents, the end of the children. When the parents are old, and then go to see the children, they are your "copy".
03
Find a fierce "partner" of the children, obey the words of the lover, and make a vendetta against the parents.
As the saying goes: "Children and daughters are filial piety, but also have a good daughter-in-law, a good son-in-law." ”
If the object of a child is a heinous person, then his pension outside of his parents is certainly unreliable.
In "The Surprise of the First Shooting", there is a person named Zhao Liu who painstakingly sends his son Zhao Cong to study. After his son grew up, Zhao Liu borrowed four hundred taels of silver and let Zhao Cong marry his daughter-in-law.
Zhao Liu hollowed out the family foundation and helped his son start a family. But the son does not understand gratitude, and he listens to his daughter-in-law for everything.
After Zhao Liu's wife died, her daughter-in-law refused to take responsibility for the burial. Therefore, Zhao Liu sold some of the only gold and silver jewelry in the family before letting his wife settle down.
One night, Zhao Liu wanted to beg his son to return the silver he had borrowed when he got married. Zhao Cong followed his daughter-in-law's advice and threw his father out.
Some people are not very vicious in themselves. But he believed in the "pillow wind", which led to the immorality of things.
There is a saying: "Married daughter-in-law forgot the mother." ”
There are many people who regard love as more important than family affection, and they cannot find a balance between the two, resulting in parents being lonely and helpless.
04
Very selfish children, worried about their parents' property, do not remember the love of their parents.
Usually, the inheritance created by parents is finally left to their children.
However, some children are eager to get everything from their parents, afraid that their parents will leave their property to outsiders or to other relatives.
I often hear such a sentence: "My parents did not give me things, why should I give him a pension and send him to the end?" ”
When affection and property are closely linked, affection is insignificant. Children have forgotten the grace of their parents. The children do not know how many bowls of rice their parents have given him from the moment of birth, how much tuition they have paid, and how much it costs them to take medicine and injections.
When there is only money in the eyes of children, the image of parents becomes very humble, as small as a grain of dust.
05
The Song of Persuasion and Filial Piety reads: "Do not eat the valley of the world with filial piety." Although the heavens and the earth are vast, it is difficult to tolerate the rebellious tribes. ”
As children, we should compare our hearts to our hearts. Think about it, you yourself are getting old, what you need, what life you will live.
Filial piety is not a matter of money, but a heart, reflecting a person's character and pattern.
As parents, we should strictly discipline our children and cultivate them with our hearts: treat all our children well and try not to be biased; start from ourselves and do good deeds and accumulate virtue; guide our children to establish a good view of marriage, take the initiative to win over daughters-in-law and son-in-law, and treat all people as family members; and help bring grandchildren as much as possible to reduce the family burden on children.
As parents, when their children become bad, do not resent, but actively save: use sincerity to impress children, awaken the goodness in the hearts of children, and the love of parents is useful at any time; for the children who are unforgiving, we must dare to stand up against them, give them the lessons they deserve, and do not let them harm society; pay more attention to their grandchildren and do not let them be contaminated with bad habits.
Psychologically, there is an effect called the "herd effect."
A flock of sheep is itself confused and chaotic, and if one sheep goes forward, the other sheep will follow. It is the herd mentality that affects all sheep.
As a parent, you have to be a good "sheep's head", don't wait until you are old, and then remember that you are going to do something.
People have no far-reaching worries, there will be near-term worries, filial piety is not smooth, and families should reflect on themselves.
May you and I, the family style, start from the doll, start from yourself.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.