Activity changes and challenging behaviors
There are many times a day when your child has to stop doing one activity and start doing other things. Examples include:
Leave the park and go home
Pack up toys before bedtime
Turn off the TV or put away your device
Get out of the tub
These activity changes can be difficult, especially if your child is happy with what they are doing and doesn't want to stop. In these cases, challenging behaviors such as tantrums can occur.
Plan activity changes
When children know that change is coming, they can better embrace it. Therefore, predictable household routines are one of the best ways to help cope with the changes in activities that occur every day.
Here are additional tips for planning activity changes:
Explain what happened to your child before you start your day or leave the house. Knowing what will happen will help children – especially older ones – have realistic expectations.
Use a family calendar to show what different family members are doing every day. You can use a calendar with pictures for your younger children.
Consider whether your child needs new skills or knowledge to help them cope with everyday changes. For example, you may need to help your child learn to tie their shoelaces to make it easier to leave the house. Or, your child may need a written or visual list to help them pack their school bags every morning.
Role-play the changes in the activity and discuss with your child how they might proceed. For example, 'Let's say we're in the park and you're playing with your friends.' I would say it's time to go. You say, "Okay, Dad, I'm ready now." Then we'll say goodbye and leave'.
Timing activity changes
Activity changes are part of each child's day. If you're in good timing, it can make it easier for your child to change from one thing to another. Try these tips:
Choose your time. If you can, stop one thing and start another during the natural break of your child's activities. For example, wait until your child has finished the puzzle before telling them that lunch is ready. If you're sensitive to what your child is doing, it can make it easier for both of you to make those changes.
Give your child some warnings about upcoming activity changes. For example, 'Derek, you still have 5 minutes to play.' Then it's time to go home", or "Derek, put on another slide and then we'll go home".
If your child finds activity changes very challenging, consider allowing more time between activities. This gives your child extra time to make changes and adjustments.
Provide options for activity changes
You can't always give your child the option to stop one activity and start another. But sometimes you can make your child choose over other things. Here are some ideas:
Let your child choose part of the activity variation. For example, 'Evan, we're about to get in the car.' You can take a toy with you. Which one will it be? Or "Would you like to do it yourself or will we do it together?" ”
Restrict options. For example, let your child choose between 2 different t-shirts, but not every item in the wardrobe!
If there is no real choice, avoid letting your child choose activities to vary. For example, when you say, 'Orla, do you want to pack up those toys now?' You suggest a choice. Instead, you can say, 'Orla, please start packing those toys now.'
Make activity changes more positive
If you point out the positive aspects of activity changes, it can shift your child's attention from the changes to things they like or are happy about. For example:
Try to make the event change fun. For example, "Can you walk towards a car like a soldier?" Or 'How about we play 'My Spy' on our way home?' '
Connect things your child doesn't want to do with things they enjoy – for example, "First we clean up the toys, then we eat snacks."
Point out any good things your child can expect after the change. For example, "If we leave now, we will have time to play your train before dinner".
Praise your child for handling change well. Emphasize how good it is when you work together as a team.
When it is difficult for children to change their activities
It's natural for your child to be disappointed that they have to stop. You can use disappointment as an opportunity to talk about emotions and encourage your child to express feelings in words. For example, "I know you're frustrated because you don't have time to play another game.".
In addition, if you are able to stay calm while dealing with difficult activity changes, your child is also more likely to remain calm and cooperative. You can set the tone by lowering your child's line of sight level and saying their names first in a low, calm voice. Then calmly tell your child that it's time to stop what they're doing.
If your child loses his temper, be careful not to accidentally reward this behavior by giving your child more activity time – for example, giving them more screen time when they calm down. You can understand, you can be clear and firm. Gently insist that your child do what you ask.