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"Recessive stimulation"
Effective measures to cultivate children's self-reliance
He Zonglin
Inferior stimuli refer to the use of uncomfortable or unpleasant external stimuli that are beneficial and necessary for children. Most parents think this is dispensable, and more importantly, mom and dad are reluctant to do this to their children. But if you don't educate your child in the right way from an early age, when your child grows up, one day he will say to you, "Who made you not educate me well when I was a child?" "Therefore, parents appropriately give children some inferior stimulation, which is extremely beneficial to the growth of children."
According to a large number of social survey results, modern children often show cowardice, loneliness, willfulness, selfishness and other psychological states. The reason is mainly due to the general lack of exercise in these children, which should arouse the attention of young parents. To improve children's sense of competition, so that children can make a difference in the future society, as parents, we must follow the good inducements to guide.
First of all, it is necessary to overcome the psychological obstacle that children "cannot afford to lose", to be able to be humble, to be able to cooperate, to suffer losses, and to be able to adapt to the competitive environment of society when they grow up. Secondly, if children are not given the education of ordinary workers and education of hard work, diligence and thrift, children lack of hardship and hard-working experience from childhood to adulthood, coupled with the lack of psychological preparation after encountering setbacks and even failures, once setbacks come, the consequences will not only endanger a person, but also involve a family. Nowadays, children have a smooth life under the care of parents and the teacher's dare not and can not "disguised corporal punishment", but once children encounter difficulties, the ability to solve problems is obviously more and more worrying for adults. After all, children want to go to society and independence, and we must understand: "There will never be a towering tree in the greenhouse." Therefore, in order for today's children to grow into people with perseverance and self-confidence to overcome all difficulties, it is necessary to give children the hard work of appropriate "inferior stimulation". So what kind of tempering is more beneficial for today's children?
Feel the cold or heat. Most children today have never tasted this kind of ordeal. For example, giving children the opportunity to exercise properly and hardy to bear heat is an important means of strengthening their bodies. Why do children living in Harbin, an ice city with a cold continental climate, play in the snow in the harsh winter wearing only sweaters? Children living in Chongqing, the hot climate of the mainland, can withstand the heat of 40 degrees Celsius? This is all the result of their long-term tempering of cold or heat. According to relevant expert studies, children who have undergone this kind of tempering are strong in disease resistance, rarely have colds or heat strokes, and their willpower is stronger than that of children who grow up in "greenhouses". Thus indicating that it is beneficial to exercise in the cold or heat of the child, which is conducive to the cultivation of the child's strong will.
Tolerate hunger appropriately. Hunger can be said to be a stimulus that challenges the limits of physiology. With the improvement of living standards, most children will be picky eaters or complain about this, complain about that problem, and most of them have a very poor appetite, the main reason is that they can not leave the mouth at any time, have not learned the taste of real hunger in life, who has the appetite to cope with three meals a day? At this time, if you want to increase their appetite, you may wish to consciously let the child starve a little, experience the taste of hunger, and learn to control their preferences under the stimulation of hunger. After being hungry, the child must be "eating mo fragrant" and "hungry without choosing food", not loving to eat green vegetables, not loving to eat fish and meat can also be swallowed, not like to drink porridge can also be drunk, slowly, the child's picky eating, partial eating problems can gradually be corrected. The theory of child-rearing in mainland Chinese medicine: "If you want to be safe, you should endure three points of hunger and cold", which is very reasonable. To this end, in life, parents must put an end to children eating too much bread, chocolate, pastries, biscuits, candy and other snacks every day, eat regularly and quantitatively, reasonably arrange the children's meals in the day, pay attention to the fine and fine grains, eat more fruits and various vegetables rich in nutrients, to meet the nutritional needs of children, so as to avoid children's craving snacks.
Timely tired and hard. Today's children can be described as "happiness can not enjoy", always living in a good situation, everywhere is care and love, living is "food to open the mouth, clothes to reach out" like the fairy day, their own affairs by their parents to do, by grandparents to do the work, self-care ability to get undue "strangulation degradation", coupled with today's living standards have greatly improved, the level of life is also high, children have not eaten at all in life, almost isolated from fatigue. Compared with the 1970s and 1980s, children's housework has decreased, some or even none, and the body lacks exercise, and over time, so that the limbs are lazy, the muscles are weak and weak, and they are overwhelmed, which not only hinders physical development, but also affects the development of intelligence and the cultivation of hard-working qualities. This is one of the reasons for the formation of a fragile selfish and akanemic character. In this regard, parents should encourage their children to do some labor within their capabilities, actively participate in social practice exercises, it does not matter if they are "idle", they should give their children the opportunity to exercise in appropriate labor, teach children to engage in laundry, sweeping, carrying water, cooking, buying vegetables, taking out garbage and other labor, so that they will develop the fine traditional virtues of loving labor from an early age, think that labor is glorious, and labor is fun.
Face the difficulties correctly. Because life is always smooth, there are many modern children with weak willpower, and there is no trouble for them to feel embarrassed by the meticulous care of their elders at home. However, often many successes are achieved through continuous overcoming difficulties. Difficulties are the whetstones for progress, and setbacks are the driving force for struggle. Parents with foresight and understanding of education must pay attention to the comprehensive cultivation of their children, and truly sharpen and temper them according to the requirements of quality education, so that they can become strong, tenacious and indomitable in the face of difficulties, setbacks and adversities. According to relevant children's experts, parents with conditions should consciously set up some difficulties for their children, and often create some grinding experiences for their children that can overcome difficulties through hard work. But parents should remember to teach children the courage to overcome difficulties, but also to teach children to overcome difficulties, so that children in the process of constantly overcoming difficulties, enhance self-confidence and courage in life, in order to open up children's ability to solve problems and overcome difficulties. In fact, difficulties and setbacks in life are everywhere, such as conflicts with partners, failures to build blocks, poor test scores... Parents should use these situations of daily life to hinder or interfere with the achievement of certain goals of their children through natural methods, so that they can get rid of dependence and enhance their tolerance for difficulties. In real life, parents may wish to buy back vegetables, meat, eggs, grain and other foods, put it in a conspicuous place at home, write a note, prompt what to do, then really check, whether good or bad, as long as it can be done, if necessary, parents and can do demonstration guidance, point out deficiencies, affirm the achievements, such as experiencing many practical exercises, the ability to overcome difficulties will gradually increase.
Give appropriate criticism to education. Good medicine is good for the sick, and advice is good for the ear. Many parents look at the child's face and act, do not dare to criticize, do not dare to reprimand, do not dare to be strict, even if the child is wrong, but afraid of "against the ear" is not afraid to "loyal", and even a lot of favoritism, short-term protection. In this way, it will only make the child arrogant, do his own thing, do whatever he wants, and be solipsistic. This is not love, but buried deep harm. Because the child's growth process needs discipline constraints, the correction of mistakes, the need to understand and overcome shortcomings, all the protection of shortcomings and the cover of mistakes, are harmful to the growth of children. Most children are psychologically very fragile and unable to accept accusations and negative evaluations from others. However, there are no rules and no squares. Therefore, parents must clearly stipulate some things that children should not do, so that they can clearly understand what they should do and what they should not do, such as hitting people, cursing, stealing things, etc., which are absolutely not allowed to do. If the child does it, he will be criticized, punished, and sometimes severely. This is beneficial to the healthy growth of the child's body and mind.
Criticism and education of children is a very necessary means of educating people, in order for children to have education, there must be strict discipline from an early age, once the child has done something wrong, parents should adopt the principle of combining criticism and praise, criticism should be accurate, fully affirm the achievements, point out deficiencies, and encourage more. Children in the growth of some discipline for them, necessary restraints and criticism of mistakes, can better correct the child's bad behavior, so that the child smoothly develop in a healthy direction.
Reduce excessive attention to your child. Parents are always child-centric, and no matter what the environment, children always seem to be the protagonists. Then, if the environment changes, the child can no longer be the protagonist, is not valued, the child's psychology will lose balance, he may not be able to withstand this role change. Therefore, parents should not take their children as the focus of life in life, and sometimes they can appropriately ignore their children and let the children adjust their mentality, so as to help children maintain a good attitude in their interactions with others and change how they should face the various ways and methods of life.
In short, giving children some hardships and consciously creating some opportunities for "inferior stimulation" will help cultivate children's ability to live independently and help children develop physically and mentally, so that children can truly become the pillars of building the motherland when they grow up. Of course, when setting up obstacles, giving setbacks and using "inferior stimuli" to children, we must use them according to the child's actual situation, use them moderately, have scientific methods, and have a clear purpose, which can neither hurt the child's self-esteem, self-confidence and enterprising, nor can it cause physical and mental harm to the child.
Source: Sichuan Provincial Local History Work Office
Author: He Zonglin (Yi, born in 1963, Sichuan Huiliren, senior teacher, member of Chinese education and teaching research, member of Sichuan Wenjiang Micro-article Literature, member of Huili Writers Association)
Pictured: Fang Zhi Sichuan
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