Hello everyone, I am a tomato mother who practices lifelong learning!
After the birth of the child, the parents go to work, and the grandparents take the child, which is already the real life of many families. Of course, it is good to have the elderly to help with the children, and the young people can continue to pursue their dreams, and they can also earn money to support their families and children. However, children grow up with the elderly, and there are many drawbacks that parents can't see now.
Meiru and her husband work in a garment factory, and her 8-year-old daughter follows her grandparents in her hometown. Although the work in the garment factory is very hard, it can earn hundreds of yuan a day, and it is more than 10,000 yuan a month. For The Meiru couple without academic qualifications, it is still very good.
New Year's Day, Meiru and his wife can finally go home, but at first it was fine, the daughter and the mother are very affectionate, but after a few days, the daughter "annoyed" the mother, and said to the grandmother: "Mom and Dad hurry up to work, the management at home is too wide."
My daughter was in the second grade of elementary school, and she took the 45th place in the 47th class of 47 students in the final exam. Holiday homework, sent down to lose, not a word is willing to write.
Moreover, the daughter does not leave the mobile phone all day, the network golden sentence is more slippery than anyone, what "Barbie Q", "the little hand of fortune pays attention to it", a mouth is this tone.
After her mother came back, she tutored her to write homework, she was very reluctant, her mother controlled her time to play with her mobile phone, and she lost her temper every day. The mother said to the grandmother: "If the child plays with the mobile phone like this, it will be ruined." ”
Grandma said, "I'm so old, I'm tired of taking care of her every day, eating and drinking Lasa, and I can't manage so much else." Girls' families, love to play, read badly to go to work, the future marriage is counted. ”
The mother listened, simply did not know what to say, this is the way the old man manages the child, eat and wear warm and completely free. Although it is a good thing to help bring children, there are some "fake dolls" in the grandmother circle, which ostensibly help to bring children, but in fact, they are "pit dolls are not shallow".
☆ The elderly dote on the child, let the child's personality grow, and the behavior is deviated.
It is a very common phenomenon that grandmothers with children are different from mothers. They are reluctant to criticize and educate their children, no matter what their grandmother thinks is cute, and the children who are accustomed to it have no rules at all. Children are willful, selfish, and overbearing, and once they develop such habits, it is difficult to change.
Moreover, some grandmothers dot on their children and are reluctant to let their children do something. The child's self-care ability is very poor, and the dependence on adults is too strong, and such a child will not have much success in the future.
☆ Some living habits of the elderly will affect the health of children.
The living habits of the elderly and young people are different, and some of their living habits have an impact on the health of children. For example, some elderly people in the family have bad habits of smoking, and never know how to avoid children, so that children smoke a lot of second-hand smoke.
Some elderly people cook more heavy, greasy, salty, children often eat will also affect the development of the body.
Good living habits are the guarantee of physical health and development, and some of the living habits of the elderly are no longer suitable for the growth of children in modern society.
But now the pressure on young couples is very great, the elderly are really fond of children, and most families really do not have the strength to let their mothers do full-time or ask a nanny to take the children. Therefore, letting grandparents help take care of the children is also a choice that families have to make. Even if the status quo is like this, parents can only work how to improve the quality of the elderly with babies.
So, how do we change the state of grandma helping to bring up the children, so that they can become grandmas who can bring their babies scientifically?
First of all, the mother should have a good relationship with the grandmother and thank the old man for helping to take the child.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult relationship to deal with, and if we ask grandma to help with the child, we must first have a good relationship with the mother-in-law. Because if our relationship with our mother-in-law is good, they are willing to listen to your scientific parenting philosophy.
Regardless of whether the way the elderly take their children is right or not, they have also paid a lot for the growth of their children, so gratitude to parents is the first step to good communication with them.
Secondly, my mother guided my grandmother to learn more and raise children scientifically together.
When my son was not yet born, my husband specially signed up for a "science nursery class", and my husband said that it was free for the community, and he could also give a certificate, and my mother-in-law was very happy to go to class. Moreover, after returning home, he often told me that the teacher taught everyone how to take children.
If the elderly want to change the original outdated concept of parenting, they must learn more. Maybe we told her what you should do, she doesn't like to listen, but what other people say, they may be able to listen.
Third, grandma and mother manage the child, work together and have a clear division of labor.
The division of labor between me and my mother-in-law with children is very clear, the mother-in-law is responsible for the children's life and living, and I am responsible for the children's homework and parent-child reading, games and other children's education issues.
Parents should fulfill their primary responsibility for the upbringing of children. We can spend as much time as possible taking care of children according to our own schedule, and the children's education problems are best taken care of by parents and mothers.
Finally, if the parents are not around the child, they should also participate in the child's development remotely.
When parents are not around their children, we can't push everything onto the elderly. Mobile phones, computers can make video calls, parents have time, they have to communicate with children, the elderly, through remote contact, we can also express their love to children, guide children's learning and life.
Children grow up only once, and only when we truly participate in them can we harvest happy and healthy children.
Interactive topic: Is your child brought by the elderly or by yourself, and are there any difficulties encountered in taking the baby?
Slogan: Learning may not allow parents to cultivate excellent children 100%, but without learning, you can't cultivate excellent children, may every mother become a learning mother!