01
The old people often say that there are no accidents in the world, that there must be reason for things, and that there must be causes for results.
The good or bad of any relationship does not happen by chance, but has its underlying cause and effect in it.
The relationship between people is actually very simple, nothing more than "courtesy exchange": you let me have three points, I respect you one zhang; you deceive me for three points, and I give you one zhang.
Many times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the same.
If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are both reasonable and understanding people, respecting each other and tolerating each other in daily life, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be much worse.
But if either of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law did not do anything inappropriate, the other party was harsh and mean, always embarrassed and unkind. Such a relationship, unless one party can always tolerate the other party without a lower limit, is mostly not good.
Xiao Xuan (pseudonym) was pregnant because she was unmarried and suffered a discounted bride price from her mother-in-law, and after marriage, she let her mother-in-law live a "discounted" life.
02
Xiao Xuan and her husband are a free love and a couple of love.
It is said that the bride price is the killer of love. Xiao Xuan's relationship with her husband was almost ruined on the bride price.
When we first talked about marriage and marriage, when the parents of both sides discussed the dowry dowry together, the mother-in-law's attitude was very twisted.
Saying that the family can't get out so much money at once, if she has to borrow money to make a bride price, in the future, this money will not be the same as Xiao Xuan and his wife to repay... Wait, to push xiaoxuan's parents to put forward a dowry request of 100,000 yuan.
At the bottom of her husband's family, Xiao Xuan had more or less a number in her heart. One hundred thousand yuan is a completely affordable amount for them.
The reason why the mother-in-law is reluctant to give the bride price is that she and her husband have been in love for three years, and there is no need to give it.
In this way, XiaoXuan's parents insisted on the bride price, and the mother-in-law found various reasons to cry poor, and the "negotiation" reached an impasse.
Later, under the strong persuasion of Xiao Xuan and her husband, the parents of both sides decided to take a step back and receive 80,000 dowries.
Originally, this matter would have turned over here. However, due to the fact that there is still a long time before the wedding day, and XiaoXuan happens to be unexpectedly pregnant during this period, she gave her mother-in-law a bargaining excuse.
The mother-in-law saw the raw rice cooked and began to pinch Xiao Xuan.
She cut the bride price in half that she had agreed to. Later, the word "four" was not auspicious, and it was eventually changed to a dowry of 30,000 yuan. A look of love and not marriage.
Xiao Xuan's parents felt that the in-laws were deceiving people too much, and they all advised her to take away the child and cancel the wedding.
Xiao Xuan is not. She didn't want her love to be ruined on her mother-in-law.
She belongs to the kind of character that "if people do not offend me, I will not offend, and if people do, I will repay them twice.".
She also understands the character and character of her husband, who is not the kind of foolish and filial man, and some wives are strict in their daily lives. Xiao Xuan was very confident that she could "cure" her mother-in-law, so she agreed to the mother-in-law's practice of discounting the bride price, and the wedding was held as usual.
The mother-in-law saved herself tens of thousands of dowry money. But unbeknownst to her, "good days" were approaching her.
After marriage, the couple lived with their mother-in-law. The mother-in-law repeatedly offered to let them hand in their salary cards, and she was in charge of the house, but Xiao Xuan refused.
Xiao Xuan did not bend over backwards and told her mother-in-law bluntly that it is now a new society, and there is no reason for her mother-in-law to be in charge. In this small family, she is the hostess, not only the couple's money is managed by her, but everything in the family must be decided by her.
Xiao Xuan's blunt confession made her mother-in-law eat it. Although the mother-in-law was angry in her heart, she saw that she had a tough attitude and did not dare to say anything easily, so she could only give up.
Not only that, in terms of eating and wearing on weekdays, Xiao Xuan also gave her mother-in-law a "fold":
The mother-in-law likes to eat imported fruits, and Xiaoxuan changed them to local fruits on the grounds that imported fruits are unsafe during the epidemic;
The mother-in-law likes to travel with several old sister newspaper boutique groups, and Xiao Xuan is only willing to give her money for the ordinary old people's group;
In short, all the life expenses of the mother-in-law, XiaoXuan insists on discounting all under the premise of not being excessive, can buy cheap and does not buy expensive, and can spend less money to resolutely spend more than one point.
And her reason is also very grandiose, so that the mother-in-law has nowhere to say.
Every time the mother-in-law complained, she always said and answered the mother-in-law: "In the future, when the baby is born, there will be more places to spend money." Without saving some flowers, it is your son and your grandson who suffer, you say right? ”
The mother-in-law was pinched by Xiao Xuan, and could only secretly complain to her husband.
Although the husband is also somewhat dissatisfied with Xiao Xuan's behavior, he feels that they are all family, and there is no need to always hold on to the fact that the bride price was discounted, and deduct his mother in life.
However, in addition to XiaoXuan discounting her mother-in-law's expenses, her mother-in-law's quality of life has been slightly affected, and her normal eating, clothing, and living have not treated her mother-in-law badly. And even if pregnant, the housework within her ability is also helped to do, usually private video chat with the mother-in-law's family, and did not say that the mother-in-law is not half a sentence.
Maybe Xiao Xuan is just out of breath, after a while it will be fine?
The husband sees that XiaoXuan has not done too much, plus he has some "wife management", from the beginning of love has always been Xiaoxuan's decision, so he can't say anything, just let Xiaoxuan not be too much on the line.
Xiao Xuan looked at her mother-in-law with a reluctant look, and her heart was very happy.
But she also understands that the mother-in-law is the mother-in-law after all. When the mother-in-law realizes her mistake and is willing to live her life with her heart to heart, she will not give a discount.
03
In life, many girls like Xiaoxuan, who are unmarried and pregnant, will encounter a situation of being discounted by their in-laws or embarrassed in other aspects.
Xiao Xuan's approach is undoubtedly to relieve the anger, not only to preserve her love, but also to defend her marital status.
And through the encounter of Xiao Xuan's mother-in-law, it also tells us the following two truths.
One: a smart mother-in-law who knows how to pay for her daughter-in-law.
It is said that the love of parents and sons is far-reaching.
I believe that no parent under the heavens would not want their children to marry happily. It's just that sometimes the wrong method is used, or the vision is not long-term enough.
Even if you cut it off as you wish, the money will only be temporarily "deposited" with you. After a hundred years, will this money still belong to the son and daughter-in-law?
If you give early and give late, why do you have to make things out of the ordinary and make everyone unhappy?
Smart mother-in-law knows how to pay for her daughter-in-law.
Because whether a family can be harmonious and happy depends largely on whether the daughter-in-law's emotions are stable.
Many daughters-in-law are actually not bad, but because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law distracts her a lot of energy, leading to the generation of many negative emotions, making her impatient in the treatment of her husband and children. Naturally, the family atmosphere is difficult to harmonize.
Similarly, there are women in life who may not be very happy with their husbands' performance in marriage. For example, the husband does not do housework, is lazy, and so on.
At this time, if there is a mother-in-law who is willing to help her share some of the housework, or even if she is only willing to stand in her point of view and occasionally help her speak, she can choose to turn a blind eye and continue to maintain the marriage.
Second: Daughter-in-law filial piety is more useful than son filial piety.
It is often said that raising children prevents old age.
In fact, the truly intelligent old people understand that the filial piety of the daughter-in-law is more useful than the filial piety of the son.
I don't believe that you look around, and there are many husbands in your life who are pinched by their wives. As long as the wife is stronger and does not let him be filial to his parents, they often dare not be honest with their parents, and can only secretly subsidize some in private.
And once his behavior is discovered by his daughter-in-law, it will be a quarrel to go back. Over time, it is bound to affect the feelings between husband and wife.
Then in the end, the son will either give up his marriage to fulfill his filial piety, or he will give up filial piety to protect his marriage.
Either way, it hurt him.
It is said that the mother-in-law takes a step back, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law takes a big step.
Mothers who really know how to think about their sons understand the principle of getting along well with their daughters-in-law.
Only when the mother-in-law respects the daughter-in-law enough and gives enough understanding, the daughter-in-law can be good to the mother-in-law from the heart, can she free up more energy in taking care of family affairs, and the son's marriage can be happier.
Text/No Pen