Xiao Xuan is slow to do things, and everyone calls her "Little Grinding". At home, a piece of clothing can be worn for ten minutes, especially for breakfast, and a mouthful of food can be held in the mouth for several minutes. Xiao Xuan's mother is an acute child, often urging over and over again, but Xiao Xuan still goes her own way. In order to save time and worry, XiaoXuan's mother simply did everything, helping Xiaoxuan get dressed, packing her school bags, and even feeding Xiaoxuan to eat every day. Over time, Xiao Xuan's mother was tired every day, but Xiao Xuan could not feel her mother's hardships, and she still did things slowly.
The grinding of children's work has caused many parents a headache. Whether it is doing homework or living, children are always procrastinating, slowly soaring, not in a hurry, parents often jump like thunder for this, and in the face of parents' "Hedong lion roar", children are still indifferent.
As a parent, do you often feel confused, why can't you change your child's habit of slow swallowing by all means? What causes children to be slow to do things?
1. Insufficient forward-looking memory ability
Forward memory is a term in psychology that refers to the ability to do something or complete a task in the future. If the child's forward-looking memory ability is poor, then they need to repeat it in words when doing things to successfully complete it. Otherwise, it is possible to delay because of "thinking fragments".
For example, children often say that they will not write when writing essays, but let them verbally express themselves well; usually when communicating with people, the child is a "small talk", you say a sentence he can reply to three sentences, but when he is asked to do something, he will grind and rub, and he will not finish it.
These are all manifestations of children's imperfect forward-looking memory, and they cannot remember too much content, just like the sudden "fragment" of thinking.
In life, children with poor forward-looking memory ability often show great forgetfulness, losing everything and not finding their own things; doing one thing requires constant reminders to complete, and it is difficult to complete a thing independently.
2. Excessive coddling affects the growth and development of children
In fact, most children want to do things fast, but they do not have the ability to be fast, which is especially evident in families with only children. In this kind of family, parents regard their children as treasures in their hands, and are reluctant to let their children move more and do one more thing, and the behavior of "jumping, jumping, touching, climbing, rolling, and hitting" that children should "jump, jump, touch, climb, roll, and fight" should be often hindered by "coddling".
Children can not climb when they should climb, which is likely to lead to poor coordination and balance; not to cry when it is time to cry, it is likely to lead to weakened cardiopulmonary function, and even poor language expression ability. All in all, lack of play, lack of exercise, lack of contact with the outside world, etc. will affect the development of children, which in turn will lead to procrastination and friction.
3. Self-awareness and evaluation by others
Studies have shown that procrastination mainly involves children's perceptions of time, task goals, and self-concepts. Procrastinators always look at time with a kind of "expectant thinking", which is easy for them to procrastinate more time.
And, if the child feels that what he is doing is meaningless, then he will have the idea of "why do it?" In addition, often labeling children, such as negative evaluations such as "slow", "stupid", "losing three or four", will also lead to children procrastinating.
4. Fear of difficult emotions
Psychologists have found that procrastination is not a problem with time management, but a problem with emotional regulation. Procrastination is a problem caused by negative emotions such as boredom, anxiety, restlessness, and depression caused by having to complete some challenging tasks.
For example, the child itself hates mathematics, and now parents in order to improve their children's math scores, they also require their children to complete several volumes every day, so that children will have resistance; children do not write homework, sometimes they may find homework so difficult, if they do not do well, what to do, under the influence of this self-doubt, unconsciously delayed, homework can not be completed.
So, how to let the child change the habit of "slow swallowing"? For the reasons, parents can start from the following aspects:
1. Improve forward-looking memory
Improving forward-looking memory is an important way to develop good behavior in children. Improving a child's forward-looking memory is very simple, we only need a "prompt".
For example, when a child is doing homework, parents can put an alarm clock in front of the child. When children see the alarm clock, they will think that their homework is not completed, and they will unconsciously speed up the completion of the homework. For children, the alarm clock is a "prompt", which can strengthen the connection between homework and homework writing, thereby improving children's learning efficiency.
2. Exercise your child's hands-on ability
If the child procrastinates because the parents are too doting, resulting in the child's slow development, then the parents need to find ways to exercise the child's hands-on ability. In ordinary life, parents should let children do what they can, if they encounter difficulties, parents can teach their children some specific methods, so that the child's ability to solve difficulties at the same time has also been improved, and things will not be swallowed slowly because they will not do it or are not skilled.
3. Cultivate children's concept of time
Parents can conduct 1-minute special training for their children to cultivate their children's sense of time. Simply put, it is to let the child feel how much can be done in 1 minute. For example, prepare some addition and subtraction oral arithmetic problems every day (different levels of difficulty), let the child do 1 minute oral calculation; you can find some words of moderate difficulty, and let the child carry out one-minute Chinese character writing training.
These trainings can make children realize the preciousness of time, realize that 1 minute can do a lot of things, if you speed up, you can do more things, so that children learn to cherish time. At the same time, such training can also improve the child's problem speed and writing speed.
Cultivating the concept of time is a long and slow process, and parents must have enough patience and perseverance. You can also cooperate with the teacher to form a home-school synergy and jointly supervise the students.
4. Break down the task so that the child sees hope
For children who are afraid of difficulties and procrastination, parents can help children break down the task into a small task that is easy to complete, and then from easy to difficult, step by step, so that the child will be full of confidence every time he completes a small task, and he is more willing to complete the next task.
5. Science uses the child's attention
The child's effective attention time is shorter, generally 15-20 minutes, once the child does one thing in a row beyond this time, it is easy to lose his mind, so for this type of child, parents need to improve their attention.
If the child has more tasks on the day, parents can divide the task into 2 or 3 stages to complete, a stage can be completed, you can give the child appropriate praise and rest, do not let the child put in the same thing for a long time; and, when the child learns, to ensure that the child's desk is simple and neat, do not stack toys, mobile phones, snacks and other distracting things, to provide a quiet learning environment for the child. Science uses the child's attention, the child can do things more engaged, so as to avoid procrastination behavior.
Finally, the gentle disposition of parents is the best gift for children to grow up. Even if the child is slow and not easy to change, please keep enough patience to help the child make progress little by little and wait for the flowers to bloom!
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