I was lonely like a star thousands of light-years away, cut off from people. There was always an insurmountable distance between me and them.
One goes to dinner alone, one goes to class alone.... On college campuses, there are many such people who are alone and buried in their heads and hurrying. Loneliness has become the norm, it is difficult to find someone who can be with us all the time, perhaps we have told ourselves countless times in our hearts to get used to this kind of life, but occasionally we see those who say and laugh in groups, and we will be sad.
"If you're not happy, come to soul." This advertising pop-up window often appears in Xiao Rui's line of sight.
Out of curiosity, Xiaorui downloaded the software in a veiled way, and as for why she was hiding it, she also had to talk about Xiaorui's experiences...
Xiao Rui's roommate often plays in pairs, and she is always the one who is left alone. It is said that the university will give people a lot of opportunities for development, and Xiaorui also tried to interview several departments, but always failed.
She thinks that other people don't really understand themselves, and if someone can understand her, the result will probably be different, right?
In front of people who are not close, Xiaorui does not want to expose the negative emotions in her usual life, so she even downloads the app secretly.
She has also tried other social networking apps, some by e-mail, or by brief encounter while listening to songs. But chatting with strange but friendly people on the Internet makes her feel relaxed, and the trivial things in life have an outlet. She is happy to share bits and pieces of her life because someone wants to listen.
On the Internet, Xiaorui has turned to many copywriting about loneliness, among which "high-quality loneliness is better than meaningless socialization" is regarded by Xiaorui as the truth of life, which makes Xiaorui find a suitable excuse for Xiaorui's loneliness, making her more and more avoid social in life.
Friends in the virtual world are all over the world, and the real-life xiaorui are hanging in the shadows.
Xiao Rui refused to admit the contradictions in her heart.
In fact, loneliness is not a good way of life, but loneliness is also divided into "true loneliness" and "false loneliness".
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their
loneliness
Those who are very quiet all day seem to have nothing to say, but on the contrary, they have a small universe in their hearts, and happiness and sorrow are all included. They weaved through the crowd with headphones in the hope that one day they would meet the man who understood their minds, expecting someone to pat her on the shoulder and say, "Hey, I found you." ”
Some people really enjoy the state of solitude and constantly improve themselves in the process of being alone.
The real difference between the two is whether the lonely person has actively chosen to stay away from the crowd and find a clean land.
And Xiao Rui obviously has a desire for intimacy and a desire to talk. However, after repeatedly hitting a wall, she chose to suppress her true thoughts in her heart, and instead looked for a sense of belonging and identity in the virtual society.
She also had a few good friends in high school, but eventually became a general friend.
Because of a small conflict with a good friend, Xiao Rui was out of control and associated with various unpleasant experiences in past interpersonal interactions, this self-protection mechanism made her take the initiative to distance herself from her friends; and because her friend had recently become close to another person, Xiao Rui wondered if she was going to be abandoned, so the two gradually drifted apart.
Xiao Rui's estrangement is a kind of temptation to test whether she has an important place in the heart of her friend. It's like someone asking in your ear every day, "Are you my friend?" Am I okay with that? It turns out that Xiao Rui's distrust led to her loneliness.
While approaching and moving away, the root cause is Xiao Rui's lack of confidence and improper understanding of friendship.
The world we see is a world of disguise, a world chosen by the lens. How glamorous and beautiful the people on the Internet are, how gray the people in reality are. We don't want to take the time to get to know a real person, so we symbolize a person and quickly get to know a person in the form of labels.
True friendship is based on mutual understanding, without understanding, how can friendship be discussed? Faltering friendships will eventually break down, and loneliness is the inevitable result.
Even if the whole world is willing to give us only cold and empty dogmas, young people must have great courage to embrace the objective world.
If you are sad, you cry; if you are happy, you laugh; if you like someone, go to her side. Don't suppress the true thoughts of your heart, people who are willing to stay with you will try to accept your small shortcomings and imperfections, they will not run away because they see your unbearable, but will blame themselves for not being with you when you are hurt.
A good relationship always has to go through a thousand hammers, those negative emotions are not shameful, for those who do not dare to face the heart of the people, your sincerity and frankness are particularly precious.
So, if you don't want to be alone, just love, as if you hadn't been hurt once.
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WeChat public account | Chuannong New Youth News Agency
The author | Huang Jiale Pan Yinuo