01
Chatting with friends, another question was mentioned:
"How can a man who is superior in all conditions fall in love with a divorced woman?"
Everyone's point of view is very consistent, divorce is something that no man doesn't care about unless he is God. Even if there is no certain complex, it will take into account real life and problems, and affect emotions.
What is love? As Wilde said:
"Even love is purely a physiological problem and has nothing to do with our personal will."
At least this is the beginning of love, which arouses a strong psychological desire to be close to each other emotionally by virtue of good looks, and after this attraction, desire and impulse occurs, love can rise up, and then the attraction of knowledge, the attraction of the heart, and so on. To put it simply, it is the provision of value in other aspects.
If the occurrence of love is attraction, then the progression of love is to create a steady stream of attraction through the provision of value.
In situations where a man cares (is divorced), it means you have to offer him more value before it's possible to offset his mind before attraction occurs.
So a man who is superior in all aspects of the situation may fall in love with a divorced woman, provided that she can provide him with great value.
Including real value, economic value, emotional value, physiological value, family value and so on.
Through the special and extraordinary value you provide for him, let him get a message in the comparison, no woman around you can do it, you naturally become the only choice, the best choice, even if you are divorced.
Very realistic, but don't the feelings in the red dust world have a realistic side?
It doesn't make sense that you have no value, or aren't worth enough, and you long to be in love with a very good man. It's only because you're capable of being valuable and being loved by good men that it becomes reasonable, mostly real, or you should be careful.
First objectively assess your own ability and value, divorced and still beautiful, this is your advantage, but relying on this advantage alone, you want him to be responsible for you to the end, which is unlikely.
There may be love happening, and after love happens, love will not be able to rise up the ladder, what it means is obvious.
02
I heard a divorced woman summing up the experience of saying:
"The second marriage market is really brutal, of course, there are winners, but many people with good conditions do not consider the second marriage at all, do not even look at it, and are willing to contact the second marriage, most of them know that they have problems." Therefore, as long as there is no matter of principle, it is best to leave, it is already separated, and it is also necessary to be prepared to find a better match than the original. If I do that, divorced, there will be a particularly good person to save my life dream, ten percent will fail, really appear such a person, be careful is to kill the pig plate. ”
Be a wake-up call.
You may say that she is also divorced, how can she remarry so well? Have you ever thought that you only saw her as a divorce, but did not see the ability and capital behind it.
Even if you don't have any ability, value and capital, you may find a good one, how likely do you want to think, and you may have this luck? Obviously, the matter of luck is very uncertain and too simple.
We have to believe that people with good conditions do not lack excellent options behind them.
In the marriage market, we can often see people with good conditions, but also picking and choosing, in fact, they want to pick a relatively better person, rather than no choice.
You are beautiful, he will be more beautiful than you, you are young, he will not lack of youth around him, if you stand out, really have to think, with what?
So there are only two possibilities except that you have value.
First, he is indeed excellent, but his love for you is not real, he just wants to play with you, and he cannot be responsible for you. Or you are not bad, raise you as a spare tire, as long as there is a better choice, will immediately abandon you.
Second, his excellence is packaged, just to confuse you and attract you, either to play with you, or to marry you home, but after marriage, you will find that you have just escaped from the wolf's den and fallen into the tiger's den.
There is also the most terrible, can see the conditions, indeed are very superior, but can not see, such as psychopathic paranoia, control freaks, there is a great missing part of the heart. Or because of an unfortunate childhood encounter, psychological distortion, the rest is not to say that you can also think of it.
03
Really, we don't think too much about what happened after the divorce, and feel that finding another one is better than the current spouse, unless you are completely sure.
Otherwise, why would you think that if you just find another one, you will be better than the present, or why do you think that the current spouse is the worst person in the world, and no one will be worse than him.
Be realistic, don't believe in fairy tales so much.
Especially marriage, the more excellent men, the more intelligent, intelligent, transparent, know that it is a cooperative relationship, people must also want to find a better, to complete the cooperation content in the marriage, to promote each other, to run to a better end. Which excellent person is willing to find a burden for himself?
Think about what you have, there is no good thing in the sky to drop the pie.
If a pie hits your head, don't get excited, don't be happy, just be careful. They have all experienced real life, don't live like a "silly white sweet", and still dream of a domineering president all day.
What can you give to people? What do people figure you? Always remind yourself with these two sentences, so that you will not be deceived.
Love is an accident and an unknown, but the occurrence and progress of love is real and regular. Such an excellent person, never turn so ordinary you, not a family does not enter a door, accidentally walked into his door, and soon will be driven out.
When you are not young, you feel that you can drink enough water with affection, love immediately becomes the whole of life, and at a certain age, everyone will become pragmatic and consider a lot.
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