He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
In "Dream of the Red Chamber", there is such a poem:
"Everything is insightful and learned, and human emotions are articles."
To understand the principles of handling things and to grasp these laws is the study of life; to handle things properly, to understand these truths, and to sum up the experience is the article.
In fact, this is a good description of a person's high emotional intelligence.
Getting along with people with high emotional intelligence makes you unfinished, like a spring breeze, and wants to have more contact and exchanges with him;
Getting along with people with low emotional intelligence will only make you feel consumed and your emotions develop in a negative direction.
So, what will a person with low emotional intelligence perform?
-01
Base happiness on the suffering of others
There is a passage on the Internet that says:
"If you get along with someone very pleasantly, he can always catch all the stems you throw, he understands you, understands you, always can guess your mind; it's not that you meet the right person, but his emotional intelligence is high, and he's always down to compatibility with you." 」
Getting along with people with high emotional intelligence will always bring us these feelings.
So, what do people with low emotional intelligence show?
He always likes to base his happiness on your pain;
He always likes to poke your sore spots when there are many people, tell your shortcomings, and make everyone happy;
He spoke without any regard for the feelings of others, but only about himself.
Like what:
A eats with a group of friends, of which B is a fatter person.
So, A taunted B in front of everyone: "You are so fat, why do you still eat so much?" ”
"I feel like a few of us combined don't eat as much as you do."
The friends around them laughed instantly, and A was very satisfied with this.
But he did not notice that B was suppressed by anger and irritation.
And such people like to flaunt themselves the most:
"I'm a man of straight-heartedness, and if I'm right, don't mind what I'm saying."
But who wants to get used to your temper and low emotional intelligence?
The relationship between people is based on mutual respect.
If you want to gain the respect of others, you have to give them respect.
In socializing, we must pay attention to a sense of proportion in what we say and do; we can not only protect our own interests, but also not embarrass everyone.
The most hurtful thing is often the verbal attack.
-02
"Listen to me is right, you are all wrong": Lever
In social networking, there is a category of people who are called "lever spirits".
They can always find sharp angles to refute you, question you, mock you, and ridicule you; in this way, to show their difference.
Like what:
You buy a new car, and he raises the bar: "Do you have a brain problem and spend so much money to buy this?" ”
You buy new clothes, and he wants to raise the bar: "You're so dark, so fat, you don't look good in these, you should wear other colors." ”
Whatever you do, they have to retort and raise the bar with you.
Then, they will also make a "good teacher" gesture: I do it for your own good.
A person who always likes to outdo others verbally is often unreliable; because they will be jealous of you for a short victory.
Getting along with the bar will make you gradually lose the desire to express.
Words are not speculative for more than half a sentence.
You have a sense of powerlessness and will frantically spit out: "Why does he talk so much?" Why does he always target me? ”
In fact, he is not targeting you, but with everyone, all the same.
A person's greatest wisdom in social life is: listen more and talk less.
Learn to listen in order to get others close to you and feel good about you, because everyone craves recognition.
Express your opinion at a critical time so that others will remember you.
-03
People with low emotional intelligence lack empathy
What is empathy?
A person's emotional intelligence is divided into "domestic business and foreign business".
In-house business can be understood as:
Get along with yourself, how to realize your own value, how to make yourself better and better through business life.
Foreign investors can be understood as:
The process of getting along with others, the means, whether or not to make each other comfortable.
People with low emotional intelligence, on the other hand, have a distinct lack of empathy in their social life.
The simplest example:
The girlfriend was unwell and had a fever, and he not only did not show his concern and care, but said: "Cow baby."
Isn't this typical poor empathy and low emotional intelligence?
In summary, it is:
Care too much about other people's feelings.
No matter what others said or did, he always took it to heart; over time, he became more and more depressed, because he cared too much about the eyes and opinions of others.
What are the consequences of this?
Push all the problems in social networking onto yourself and let yourself bear all the bitter consequences.
Don't care about other people's feelings.
This is the behavior of people with poor empathy.
Others said things about their sadness, just to get care and comfort; not only did he not do it, but he sneered.
Care too much about your feelings.
If a person cares too much about their feelings, they tend to act "full of hostility" in social interactions.
When others say anything, he associates himself with himself, thinking that others are targeting him.
People who care too much about their feelings will develop in the direction of selfishness and extremes.
How can a person be considered high in emotional intelligence?
In a word, it can be summed up: put others in your heart and put yourself in your heart.
Respect others as much as you do yourself.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever met someone with "low emotional intelligence"?
(Article with picture source network)