"The third-grade proverb complained to me that he had a fight with his classmates at school today, and both of them were punished by the teacher After asking the detailed results, it was found that the classmates took the proverbial stationery first. At that time, the proverb reached out and snatched it back, but the classmate did not want to return it to him, so the proverb beat the classmate with his hands, and the two of them fought." In this actual event, I wonder who you think is right and who is wrong?
"What is the concept of right and wrong?"
The concept of right and wrong is the criterion for judging right and wrong when a person faces things, but the cultivation of non-view, including the way adults deal with it when they see events happening, news reports... And so on, the environment in which we grew up, the culture, the behavior of our parents, and the behavior of our teachers and classmates in school will actually affect our ability to judge things bit by bit.
The ability to judge will affect the way people make decisions, the way they look at the people and things around them, and what kind of values they have will affect the thinking logic of children facing each choice, so it is very important to cultivate such education from an early age!
"What kind of practice can we practice to cultivate the concept of right and wrong?"
First, discuss things in terms of what actually happened, and discuss emotions and behaviors separately
In the process of growing up, there will be many "emergencies" with parents, siblings, classmates or teachers, and children have less life experience in the face of events, and sometimes need to be reminded by adults with wisdom and gentleness. Therefore, when the event occurs, adults may focus on dealing with the current tense emotions, but after the emotions are more relaxed, they must find a time to clarify the beginning and end of the matter and have more discussions.
Take the beginning of this article as an example, you can ask the child
"What just happened?" Why are you going to hit him?"
"Do you think it's a good thing to take something from someone else?"
"Do you think it's good to hit someone?"
"So if what just happened happened again, what would you do next time?"
Use the Why-How-What discussion and guidance method, and the child step by step to find out the better way to deal with it. In the process, parents are also asked not to discuss with prejudices, and may have unexpected gains with their children.
In this step, if the child is younger, it may take more time to ask and discuss, but after about two and a half years old, you can have this kind of deep practice with the child and cultivate the child's character!
Second, cultivate empathy
In the process of growing up, the instinct to survive develops more self-centered at the beginning, and after the age of three, it will slowly care more about others. The essence of empathy is actually "to understand what the other person is thinking", and this kind of understanding, in fact, starts from the simplest things and needs to be learned.
For example, there is a child who likes to eat apples. In his little worldview, he would think that everyone likes to eat apples! Therefore, parents should also practice expressing their own thoughts and feelings, and teach their children to recognize the differences between themselves and others.
A simple empathy is like", "You like to eat apples, sweet and delicious, right?" But Mom prefers kiwifruit, mom likes sweet and sour taste! A little more complex empathy is to understand each other's thoughts and emotions, "Let's put away these bricks together?" Otherwise, I would collect a lot every day, so tired, and it would be easier for me to have you help clean up!" Guidance like this allows children to better understand the thoughts and feelings of others.
Third, give the opportunity to make up for mistakes
Everyone from childhood to adulthood will make some mistakes, making mistakes is not terrible, it is not unforgivable, it is important to learn from mistakes, so that the next time the same mistakes are made. If you can review it after the fact, and let the child understand: the mistake is not to make him a bad person, but to remember the lesson of each time, and then correct it next time, the child will become more positive in the face of mistakes and more willing to develop a good character.