Wen | snow fell without dust
Tolstoy said, "We love each other as equals because we understand each other, respect each other, and always appreciate each other." ”
Yes, two people who truly love each other, in each other's minds, their other half will always be the best.
The so-called "lover's eyes out of the West", more or less like this.
Love is finally affectionately guarded, taking turns bowing its head, and this life is unswerving.
Years of warmth, not to meet, to be affectionate and loyal to you for a lifetime.
Some people say that the person who wants to stay the most for life in this life is the one who knows cold and warm, and knows sorrow and joy.
The most romantic thing you can think of is that in the cycle of four seasons, you can not be separated.
In fact, if love or marriage is to get better and better, it is enough to understand the word "mutual".
01
Mutual understanding is a good foundation
Tagore said, "Love is an alias for understanding." ”
Love is in the plain, staying in mutual understanding.
Some netizens shared a small story:
This day is the wedding anniversary of the young couple. In order to surprise his wife, the young man used his salary for more than half a month to buy a necklace and give it to his wife.
Who knows the wife is furious: "Our family is poor, you still buy such expensive things!" "After saying that, I slammed the door and ran out."
Unexpectedly, it was raining outside, and she hid under the eaves of a small shop next to her to avoid the rain.
At this time, an old couple came in without an umbrella, and the old man said to his wife, "I'll go home and get the umbrella to pick you up, and you're waiting here!" ”
The young man's wife had some doubts in her heart: "It is already wet, it is better to go home directly." Then he went up to the old lady and asked, "Why don't you and the old gentleman go home together?" ”
The old lady said, "My health is not good, and I am prone to illness in the rain, so the old man will go home first to get an umbrella and pick me up again." ”
The young man's wife listened to her heart warm and said, "Uncle is so good to you!" ”
The old lady said, "Actually, we have each other in our hearts." ”
After saying that, the old lady plunged into the rain and walked in the direction where her wife came.
In the wind and rain, the figure of the old gentleman did not live up to the expectations of his wife and children; in the wind and rain, the old lady greeted the promise of appearing in the rain.
Watching the old couple walk away, she suddenly realized that her husband bought the necklace because she liked it. Necklaces are not very practical, but the husband's love is priceless.
At this time, the young man was anxious to find her, and she also rushed into the wind and rain and walked in the direction of home.
There is a kind of love called noisy, constantly cutting.
Knicks said, "Marriage is a book, the first chapter is written in the psalms, and the rest is plain prose." ”
The love of ordinary life needs to be understood and responded to before the afterglow can be surrounded. The love between partners needs to be managed with heart and protected with affection.
Sometimes, love is not afraid of disputes and disagreements, it is afraid of a basin of cold water to pour on the head.
In love, mutual understanding is the foundation, and it is the bond that two people carry together for a lifetime.
02
Mutual respect is a high-level form
There is a saying that is very heartfelt: "The love of mutual respect is the most unforgettable and long-lasting." ”
If you do not get respect and equal love, you should stop the loss in time.
Friend Fang Fang complained that some of her boyfriend's recent performances felt that she was becoming less and less respected.
They decided to buy a sofa, and she had obviously told her boyfriend that she didn't like leather sofas, but her boyfriend had to buy leather.
Her boyfriend likes to watch documentaries, she likes to watch variety shows, and her boyfriend always dislikes her superficiality and childishness, saying that the programs she watches are not of standard.
Fang Fang felt very uncomfortable about this and asked me if this situation is normal for couples?
This is certainly not normal, and her boyfriend obviously does not respect her and does not love her enough.
True respect must be not derogatory and pay attention to detail.
Wang Feng and Zhang Ziyi, a star couple, show us what respect is between husband and wife.
In the variety show "Wife's Romantic Trip", Wang Feng gushed about the way husband and wife get along, with a rich voice and witty words. Zhang Ziyi smiled and silently stared at her husband with admiration in her eyes.
In fact, Zhang Ziyi understands these great truths, and she chooses to listen attentively, that is, to respect Wang Feng's sincerity to herself.
Because Zhang Ziyi knows very well that the real respect between husband and wife is: listen attentively and do not interrupt.
So, what is mutually respectful love?
There is an answer that is very grounded: "I especially like to eat Sichuan food, and he especially likes to eat Western food." So I was willing to accompany him to finish eating Western food first, and then go to Sichuan cuisine.
He likes to read psychology, and I like to read ji biographical books. Then, he can accompany me to read the Ji Chuanshu book first, and then read his favorite psychology books. ”
There is a kind of love called two-way respect.
You are willing to tolerate my little shortcomings, and I am willing to accommodate your stinky temper.
The reason why we are willing to commit to marriage is because we firmly believe that in marriage, we can understand, respect, and appreciate each other.
Respecting each other and understanding each other is the new height of love.
03
Mutual appreciation is the top realm
Someone said, "The highest state of love is mutual appreciation." ”
A true partner is not only love, but also a high degree of appreciation in the soul.
A netizen shared a personal experience:
When she was working in the crew, she met an assistant director Xiaocha.
Xiaocha has strong working ability, assists the director in his work and never makes mistakes, can find the emotional problems of the actors in time, and tells the actors unequivocally.
However, the small tea that dares to kill in the workplace is extremely low in feelings.
Xiao Cha once asked her: "If your boyfriend always belittles you, will you break up?" ”
Xiaocha and her boyfriend are long-distance lovers, and it is often Xiaocha who goes to find her boyfriend, and the boyfriend rarely comes to her.
Every time we meet, she dresses up elaborately, but she never gets a word of praise from her boyfriend.
The boyfriend either dislikes her bad clothes, or says that her skin has acne or the like, and always keeps picking at her faults.
In a relationship, if the other party is difficult and critical of you everywhere, then he has never loved you.
Finally, one day, she was fed up with her boyfriend's various pickiness, self-righteous evaluation, and resolutely proposed to break up.
She said that on the day of the breakup, she felt more free and happy than ever, and it turned out that before, she had been so wronged.
With men who aren't willing to appreciate you, all you get is endless denial. Love needs to be appreciated by each other, and there is no room for slight. People know that cold and warm, can not withstand long-term depreciation.
Soon after the breakup, Xiaocha met her current boyfriend, praised her, and often praised her for her extraordinary temperament and good taste.
The current boyfriend's heartfelt praise for Xiaocha is an appreciation.
In love, meet people who appreciate you, encourage you, and make you feel refreshed. And the people who criticize you will only make you worse and worse and eclipsed.
Mr. Zhou Chong said: "There is no complaint in the depths of love, and love is close to the heart of the Buddha." ”
When the love is strong, there is no resentment, and when the love is extreme, only each other.
04
Zhang Xiaoxian once said: "Good love makes your world vast, like walking on an endless grassland; bad love makes your world darker and darker, and finally only the inch of the roof is left to shelter from the rain." ”
Between two people, the feelings are getting deeper and deeper, and they need to play some "heart tricks":
Understand each other, even if they quarrel, they will think of hugging and reconciling afterwards;
Respect each other, support your ideas and decisions, and always stand by your side and encourage you;
Appreciate each other, do not skimp on praising you, and always melt into your life.
Whether it is love or marriage, understanding is the cornerstone, respect is the high match, and appreciation is the top match.
May you and your lover be able to experience the wind and rain together in life, be each other's dependence and safe haven, hold hands with the old, and never leave.