Nowadays, many parents will choose to bring their grandchildren at home after they are old, and it is no wonder that young people are under great pressure in the workplace, and it is difficult to do both work and family after having children. Parents who love their children would rather choose to sacrifice their own play time and help their children solve their worries.
For children, meeting such parents is a great blessing, and they should be grateful. But some people don't think so. They believe that the reason why parents bring their grandchildren is to relieve the loneliness of old age and hand over their children to their parents, which is also the embodiment of their filial piety.
For aging parents, it's no easier to bring young children to work than to work. Is it true that they have worked hard all their lives, brought up their children, and when they are old, they help their children take care of their grandchildren?
In fact, the elderly hope that they can live their own leisurely life, and the elderly do not have the obligation to help look after the children, all of which they are willing to pay for their children, as children to understand the content.
And what we are going to tell today is a story about a daughter-in-law who thinks that her mother-in-law did not help her with her grandson. Because the daughter-in-law often sees various cases on the Internet, she always feels that her child is similar to these diseases, so she thinks that the child is sick, often runs with major hospitals, and in the end she can't check anything, but blames her mother-in-law for not helping her take the child well.
So why wouldn't this mother-in-law help her daughter-in-law with her children? And why does this daughter-in-law always think that her child is sick?
Let's take a look!
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01
One day, the program team received a call from a middle-aged woman, claiming that her husband ignored the young and sick child, and the mother-in-law also hated herself and wanted to seek help from the program group to seek justice for her. The program team that received the request for help, with the equipment, came to the place where the woman agreed to meet.
Seeing the arrival of the reporter, the woman quickly greeted her to introduce herself, claiming to be Li Tingting, 31 years old this year, is a mother of two children, the youngest child is only about 1 and a half years old.
Li Tingting and reporters said that since the three-child policy was liberalized some time ago, the couple happily welcomed their second child. However, the child was admitted to the hospital with a fever infection from two months, and the discharge was repeated for several days, and every month the child went in and out of the hospital and was extremely dependent on antibiotics to maintain his health.
Since the child fell ill, the two have become more and more divided. Li Tingting took the child around for medical treatment, from Hengyang to Changsha to Shanghai, from Shanghai to Beijing, and did not find out the specific problems of the child. After the doctor in Beijing learned of the child's situation, he suggested genetic testing, and Li Tingting immediately told her husband Wang Fuyu the news, but unexpectedly was coldly rejected by her husband.
Since he is the biological father of the child, why should he prevent the child from going to the doctor?
After seeing the reporter's question, Li Tingting said with a helpless face that during this time, she was running around alone with her children, and her husband Wang Zhifu not only ignored it, but even a simple genetic test was unwilling to cooperate. Saying that Li Tingting took out a bunch of hospital examination reports, it can be seen from the thickness of the test report that Li Tingting did run a lot of hospitals with her child and did a lot of examinations.
Then Li Tingting said that even though her husband did not support her to take the child everywhere to see a doctor, and did not give her too many relationships and greetings, she still carried a large bag and ran to major hospitals everywhere. In her opinion, as long as she can cure the child's disease, she is willing to pay for it.
Li Tingting admitted that according to her own judgment, her husband was not unable to come up with this money, but she did not understand why genetic testing made her husband hesitate after nearly a year of seeing her child.
In order to understand the truth of the matter, the program team accompanied Li Tingting to the residence of her husband Wang Zhifu.
02
After coming to a community, Li Tingting stopped and introduced to reporters that her husband was engaged in decoration business in the nearby area, and he had rented this community with her husband for several years since giving birth to her first child. However, because she had not come to her husband's store for too long, she was a little unfamiliar with the terrain near her husband's storefront this time. After several searches, she finally found her husband's car.
Li Tingting suddenly visited, her husband Wang Zhifu was staring at the computer in the storefront to play games, after learning of his wife's intentions, he did not get up to respond. Li Tingting looked at her husband with an indifferent look and forcibly handed over the test report. Wang Zhifu took the examination results handed by his wife and looked at them carefully for a long time, but he did not ask a word about the child's condition.
Seeing This performance of Wang Zhifu, the reporters on the side were a little strange. Let's be honest. As a child's biological parent, he should be very concerned about the child's health, but why does Wang Zhifu behave so carelessly?
After a moment of silence, Wang Zhifu and reporters said that his children did not have a particularly serious situation at all, so he did not know anything about his wife taking her children everywhere to do inspections; and he did not want his wife to run around with her children, such aimless inspections, in addition to wasting money, it was also a toss for adult.
Hearing her husband say this, Li Tingting immediately retorted forcefully, you did not take it to various places for examination, how do you know that the child is not sick? And not all diseases can be detected by blood tests, and some need genetic testing. For example, this time she took her child to Beijing, and it was suggested that she do a genetic test, so she especially wanted to take her child to do this test.
Through the couple's dialogue, we can preliminarily know that the contradiction between the couple is that one is worried that the child is ill and the other insists on seeing the child is a fuss.
If a genetic investigation can tell the truth, why does Wang Zhifu reject his wife so firmly?
After the reporter expressed the doubts in his heart, Wang Zhifu said that he had also taken his children to major hospitals and clinics, but he had not checked out any specific symptoms. And the child is sick, the wife will suspect that the child has leukemia, and the child will suspect that the child is flu... Anyway, there was a little bit of a similar symptom, so he imagined out of thin air what was wrong, so he didn't want to toss it.
To put it bluntly, Wang Zhifu felt that it was not a child who was sick, but an adult, implying that his wife was sick.
Li Tingting was very opposed to her husband's statement, and she felt that if she didn't get it right, it would be a matter of death. So she forced her husband to take the child for a genetic test to verify whether the child was sick or not, whether she was making a fuss, or whether her husband was indifferent to the child.
Seeing that his wife also said that he was so determined to do genetic testing, Wang Zhifu helplessly told the program team that he definitely hoped that his children would be healthy and healthy, but when the children were really nothing, there was no need to take the children to do this examination for no reason, not only wasting money, but also tossing adults.
Then he said that the reason why the child's resistance is so poor now is that his wife blindly took the child to the hospital. When the child has a fever for two months, he takes the child to the injection, and then as long as the child has a small problem, he runs to the hospital, and he can't move to get injections and take medicine, which is even a normal person can't stand it.
At this time, the reporter picked up the examination report and looked at it carefully, and found that in the thick pile of examination results, it was indeed not found out whether the child had a certain type of disease. But Li Tingting introduced that the child has been suffering from fever and infection since two months, and since even the hospital's examination cannot determine the specific situation of the child, why is Wang Zhifu so sure that the child has no problem?
After reading these inspection reports, the reporter threw out the doubts in his heart, and for the reporter's doubts, Wang Zhifu said that it was because his wife could not look at children. Every time a child falls asleep, the person who looks at the child sleeps more deeply than the child, like a dead pig, and it is precisely like this that the child does not know whether the quilt is covered, let alone anything else.
For these accusations of her husband, Li Tingting vigorously refuted, saying that she was a person who had already had a child, even if she did not look at the child, the child could not often catch a cold, and it was still good and relapsed. In her opinion, there is a problem with the child and genetic testing must be done.
At this time, Wang Zhifu began to be a little angry, saying that his wife was very strong, even if she could not bring children, she must put her arms around herself to bring them, but when his mother took care of them, there were no such situations. And bluntly told Li Tingting to rest well now, don't worry about the child, this matter is entrusted to him.
In Wang Zhifu's eyes, with children like his wife, there will definitely be a variety of things happening often, and it is better not to interfere in the affairs of children, they can just take care of it. Maybe Li Tingting really loves children, or can't rest assured about children, for Wang Zhifu to tell herself to rest, Li Tingting instead feels that her husband is abandoning herself, she said that she would not rest, that is, to bring herself.
Worried about her children, Li Tingting said that she had been sleeping and eating for a long time. During that time, Wang Zhifu, as her husband, should share her worries for herself, but Wang Zhifu did not have the slightest comfort, and also rightly asked his wife not to care about the children, which made her very angry.
Seeing his wife so annoyed and ashamed, Wang Zhifu told a secret.
It turned out that Wang Zhifu and Li Tingting had been divorced for three months, and now the custody of the two children was awarded to him, so he was the main person in charge of the children, and Li Tingting could not worry about it at all. In his eyes, the reason why his ex-wife wants to toss like this now is to check out what is out, and then she is willing to give up. Moreover, Wang Zhifu stressed that the divorce was initiated by his wife, and the custody of the two children was also voluntarily given up by his ex-wife.
Since Li Tingting believes that the child is seriously ill and is concerned about the child, why should she give up the marriage at this moment and give up the child?
For this question from the reporter, Li Tingting said helplessly that the reason why she proposed divorce at that time was that she only wanted to force her husband to treat the child, and the reason why she did not want the custody of the child was also to force Wang Zhifu to contact the child more, but she did not expect that Wang Zhifu gladly accepted the divorce.
Now that the child's illness has not yet been identified, it is not difficult to do a genetic test. What makes Wang Zhifu prefer a divorce to a simple thing?
Wang Zhifu said that when the child was first hospitalized, he had accompanied his wife to the hospital, and the test results showed no abnormality. Li Tingting contacted all kinds of patients from the network software, firmly believed that the child was seriously ill with acquaintance, and constantly rushed to Shanghai, Beijing and other places to seek medical treatment.
Wang Zhifu saw that Li Tingting had been holding on to himself, and bluntly said that he still wanted to do business, saying that he would let Li Tingting go home and wait for himself, and he would give a satisfactory answer. Li Tingting looked at her ex-husband and didn't want to talk to her anymore, so she had to go back and wait for him.
On the way, Li Tingting and reporters introduced that Now Wang Zhifu's family lives in Hengnan County, and the house they live in is built by buying land. After her couple divorced, she still lived between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law of the Wang family, and it was still the same as usual.
03
After coming to the Wang family, Wang Zhifu's parents and reporters stressed that their family had a gentle temperament. Li Tingting is in charge of everything in the family, and now that the family has a house and a car, the life is stable, and it is really not going to cause divorce. Wang Zhifu's parents also said that although she regretted her son's divorce, Li Tingting never called her mother-in-law, and she could not hear the advice of her elders, so it was up to them to agree or to leave.
In the eyes of Wang Zhifu's mother, the son's life is frugal and very diligent, perhaps the daughter-in-law took her grandson around to see a doctor, causing a lot of financial pressure on the son, so that the two people have a gap. Wang Zhifu's mother also said that the child had no problems, and it was the daughter-in-law's obstinate behavior that led to today's situation. When she helped to take care of the children, the children had nothing to do, but as soon as they were handed over to her daughter-in-law to take full care of them, various problems arose.
Hearing her former mother-in-law say this about herself, Li Tingting on the side couldn't bear it anymore, stood up and theorized with her mother-in-law. Li Tingting said that the reason why the child was okay when her mother-in-law helped take care of it was precisely because she had just brought the child back from injection treatment, and the medicinal effect worked, and she did not care about people or anything. And in Li Tingting's eyes, her mother-in-law has not helped herself to bring children many times, and has basically been a child in her care.
At this point, Li Tingting yelled at her mother-in-law: You ask, why do you watch others carry their grandchildren on their backs all day, but you can't do it? As grandparents, you simply don't have the responsibility of being a grandparent. Now the grandson has a problem, but he says that I am not good enough...
Hearing her daughter-in-law's accusations, Wang Zhifu's parents explained that taking care of children was a daughter-in-law's problem, and she could only assist from the side. And because of his poor health, he can only be responsible for cooking and housework, and his daughter-in-law is responsible for taking care of the children. Although she sometimes tried to help more, she was rejected by her daughter-in-law.
At this moment, Wang Zhifu came back from the store, just saw his ex-wife and mother arguing, Wang Zhifu was biased in favor of his mother, saying: His mother's health is really not good, he will be sick to his stomach at every turn, and his hands and feet are not good, so he does not want his mother to worry more about himself.
Hearing that her ex-husband was so partial to her mother-in-law, Li Tingting on the side was even angrier, saying: You say all day that your mother is sick, this can't be done, that can't be done, I still have breast cancer people! And I'm tired and tired with two children every day, I'm a person with cancer, and I deserve to do so many things in your house? Whether it was confinement or watching children at that time, my mother helped me...
Speaking of this, Li Tingting took out her own test report. And the program group heard this also blind, how to say well, Li Tingting has also become a sick person? It turned out that she had done an ultrasound before, and the ultrasound suggested bilateral breast hyperplasia, but it was recommended to review it regularly, and it was not as scary as she said it was cancer.
But Li Tingting firmly believes that she may be cancer. She said that at that time, the examination was the time of the first child, and now that the second child has been missing, it has not been examined for several years, and there is a possibility of lesions. And now she has neck pain, low back pain and itchy whole body...
Even if his wife said so, in Wang Zhifu's view, his wife's illness is not a big deal, but Li Tingting often exaggerates, and now even if Li Tingting proposes to go to the hospital, he also expresses his support. In Wang Zhifu's heart, he is not indifferent to his wife, but he is too busy at work and is indeed negligent.
However, in Li Tingting's view, busy work is only a reason, she said that in the past eight years, she has had two children and taken care of the family wholeheartedly, but she has not felt the sincere care of her husband, and her efforts have never been valued.
Wang Zhifu helplessly said that he said that he had to raise six people alone, and his energy was tilted to work, but Li Tingting had always been strong, and the family affairs were arranged by her. Wang Zhifu originally thought that as long as he worked hard and gave in, his true heart would be seen, but he did not expect that Li Tingting was defensive everywhere in life.
Wang Zhifu recalled that at the beginning of his marriage, his family was in the countryside, so poor that only one adobe house was left, while Li Tingting, who was in the county seat, had relatively superior conditions. In order to be with Li Tingting, he worked hard and turned inferiority into strength, and in the end found that his wife still did not accept him from the heart.
Li Tingting recalled that at the beginning of the marriage, Wang Zhifu failed to start a business and owed hundreds of thousands of foreign debts, and she secretly married despite her family's opposition. After many years, Wang Zhifu gradually paid off his debts, bought a house and a car, but forgot his feelings of fighting for himself. When she went through the divorce, Li Tingting said that she did not divide any property, and now she only asked for a check-up for her children, which became so difficult.
When she said this, Li Tingting began to cry bitterly, saying that when she took her child to Beijing for examination, she only ate one meal a day and slept on the bench in the emergency department every day, just to save money. She knows that it costs a lot of money to run around for children, and she wants to save a little. I'd rather die than save my own children. And whenever she asked Wang Zhifu to accompany her, Wang Zhifu was unwilling, so she didn't bother to tell the other party about it.
At this time, Li Tingting mentioned that when it was difficult to take her children to the west for a year, her strong grievances poured out, and she felt that she had put in eight years of hardship, but she could not exchange Wang Zhifu's words of self-respect. Today, the couple's situation is more anxious and they are not understood by their families. Li Tingting said that she was haggard in her heart, so the Internet became the only outlet she could talk about.
Li Tingting went on to say that she and Wang Zhifu could not understand each other, and the warmth between husband and wife was getting less and less, and gradually even if the two people sat facing each other, their hearts were not together.
After calmly listening to his wife's accusations about the eight-year marriage, Wang Zhifu did not deny Li Tingting's efforts. But he admitted that the reason why he signed the divorce agreement was not that he was reluctant to see a doctor for his children, but that he found some facts between the husband and wife that could not be changed. Wang Zhifu introduced that he has been buying a car for almost three years, he sleeps in the car every night, he shrinks his clothes and food, but he never wrongs his family. In Wang Zhifu's psychology, the couple married for eight years and have two children, should not stay in the discussion of reciprocal love, but should form a joint force to complete the family.
Li Tingting hysterically complained about grievances in the marriage, while Wang Zhifu was extremely restrained and patient, bearing the pressure of life, and the couple tried their best, but they went farther and farther.
Li Tingting said that she originally just wanted to borrow a divorce to force Wang Zhifu to do genetic tests for her children, but now that she has come to this point, she has no concern about the marriage and stays, and there is only one goal, that is, to check the children. In the face of Li Tingting's insistence, Wang Fufu made a compromise. The next day, the couple went to Hunan Provincial Children's Hospital together, Li Tingting introduced the child's situation to the doctor, synthesized the child's previous examination results, and the attending doctor of the hematology department said:
"The number of infections in children is too much, from one year and two months to one year and three months, it has been infected eight times, children should pay attention to the problem of immunity, and it is normal for blood test results to be made at present." But if you want to do further tests, you have to do an immune function test to know why children are always more likely to get sick than others. And children must be balanced in nutrition, if it is not enough to eat some porridge, diversification is enough. Pay more attention to hygiene, if there is a cold around, you can not touch it. There is also a word, that is, the clothes and quilts should also pay attention to, suitable for good, not more, not less. At present, most of your tests have been done, and only one genetic test result has not been done, which can be done or not done, but it is not necessarily problematic to make it. ”
After listening to the introduction of the professional doctor, Li Tingting was always uneasy in her heart, she still eagerly wanted to do a genetic test, and Wang Zhifu, who accompanied her, did not give a reply. A seemingly simple examination is in each other's minds, affecting the fate of the marriage. In Li Tingting's heart, perhaps a check could pull each other back, but Wang Zhifu walked to the side lonely.
Wang Zhifu said that he did not understand every decision that Li Tingting had made over the years, every decision was a mistake, and the final verification was wrong, but even so, the other party was still insisting, and he no longer wanted to live with people who would not be flexible.
Eight years gone, the love that once fought hard, the family affection that was once happy and bitter, did not make each other soft in this test.
Seeing that her husband still did not want to do genetic testing, Li Tingting became more and more emotional and determined to do this test for her children. Wang Zhifu finally agreed to genetically test his children, and he regarded this compromise as the last warm point in the marriage.
Wang Zhifu finally chose to give in, he accompanied Li Tingting back to the hospital to do genetic tests for the child, and the marriage of the two people for more than eight years also lit up at this moment. Looking back on these eight years, one husband and wife is busy with work, the other is busy taking care of children, and the two lines extend to the same place, both to complete the family.
In fact, each other has also done their best to pay, perhaps only because they have not been seen by the other party, they feel that this effort has no return. In fact, in marriage, the deep understanding of love should be to give, to tolerate, not to trade, not to be moral kidnapping. Even if you sometimes feel that your partner doesn't understand enough about yourself, you should change your mindset instead of giving up a marriage easily.
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