People who are "too sensible" find it difficult to be happy

He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.

It is not that sensible people will not make unreasonable trouble, but their experience and education from childhood to adulthood have made them accustomed to maturity and tolerance, and are accustomed to being misunderstood by others.

Zheng Yuanjie wrote a story in the book: Pippiru and Lusisi.

The story is absurd, but it also reveals irony and reality.

A good teacher who aspires to turn his classmates into obedient little rabbits, and Pippiru's parents agree with this.

They instill their thoughts and ideas in their classmates, making them obedient and sensible, and should not rebel against the rules.

In fact, this is a microcosm of reality.

Many people grow up in an environment that is: "You should listen to me, you are not allowed to show your personality, you must be obedient and sensible."

But such an experience will only make them become a "flattering personality" in the process of growing up.

Too sensible, only wronged themselves.

-01

Sensible children and noisy children

Some time ago I was shopping outside and saw a scene.

A little boy, crying and making noise, wants to eat sugar gourd.

His mother disagreed, saying to him, "You've just eaten sugar, you can't eat sugar gourd anymore." ”

But the little boy did not agree at all, and it was noisy and noisy in the street.

No way, the boy's mother bought him a sugar gourd.

I've also met another girl.

When I was just in junior high school, I helped my parents share the burden of taking care of my younger siblings.

People of the same age have beautiful clothes, eat whatever they want, and get what they want to get their parents satisfied.

But this girl is very sensible, and she never asks for anything, because she knows that even if she asks for it, her parents will not give it to her.

Parents will only say: "It is not easy to raise a few of you, don't want this and that all day, your brother is still young, and there will be more places to spend money in the future." ”

Girls are always tolerant and silently bear all their grievances.

And her parents are proud of this, always showing off outside:

"My daughter is very sensible and obedient, well-behaved and caring."

But they ignore that such a child should not be loved and tolerated by his parents?

I often hear a saying: "Sensible children have no sugar to eat, and children who can cry have sugar to eat."

In the adult world, there is also a saying that "it is best to spoil a woman's life".

You see, those who understand things are really sad and happy.

Because they ceded their right to fulfill others, they silently bear the grievances and losses alone.

The education of parents to their children determines the character development of children when they grow up.

And people who are aggrieved from small to large are either rebellious or develop a flattering personality.

-02

Sensible children are more likely to "rebel" in adulthood

Psychological research has shown that:

The more well-behaved and sensible the child is when he is a child, the more psychological problems he has when he grows up, and the more likely he is to have rebellious and resistant emotions.

Children who are free when they are young and have their own obvious personalities tend to become mentally mature when they grow up.

The same is true in reality.

For example:

The child officially leaves his parents, in fact, after middle school.

Moreover, the age of middle school, which happens to be adolescence, is the most prone to rebellion.

After experiencing dazzling things, they are not willing to be a "good child" in the eyes of their parents, they want to vent and show their personality.

On the one hand, they want individuality and their own lives, and on the other hand, they are the education and repression of their parents.

Over time, people are prone to psychological problems.

And in adulthood, it is easy to develop a fixed mode of thinking.

"I want to be sensible, and I should tolerate it, because I want to create my own sensible and obedient personality."

"I have to be sensible and live according to other people's ideas, otherwise no one will like me."

In exchange for the liking of others, they sacrifice their own personality and disregard their true thoughts.

Sensible people, in fact, have sacrificed their own happiness and willful rights from childhood to adulthood.

From a young age, I was taught by my parents: I am not allowed to take other people's things, I must be polite, I must learn to share, I must be obedient and sensible, and I cannot lose my temper casually.

Therefore, they never take other people's things, and they will behave strictly when they visit other people's homes.

Even if someone else took his things, he would not resist, but silently suffered grievances.

In socializing, when others are slightly unhappy, he has to think about the reason to himself.

"Did I do something wrong, so people are not happy?"

They never easily trouble others, preferring to be wronged by others rather than easily ask for help.

They are not in the way of face, but they are worried about burdening and stressing others.

You see, sensible people always don't feel sorry for themselves, but always wronged themselves.

-03

Sensible people always don't know how to hurt themselves

Seeing such a passage on the Internet is particularly true.

"When we were young, when we fell, we would first look around to see if there were any adults; if there were, we would cry, and if we didn't, we would get up. When you grow up and fall, some people around you will immediately get up, and when no one is there, you will cry. ”

People are always like this.

When I was a child, it was time to show my personality, and I should have been unrestrained and carefree.

Just like every wayward, loving, tolerant child; want to eat, play what you want, and spend your childhood happily.

But when they grow up, people have to wear masks to disguise themselves, not easily reveal sadness, and do not easily trouble others.

But the reality is:

The more sensible people are, the more they can't live their own lives; because their understanding is actually a kind of spiritual shackles and shackles; they have wronged themselves, but they have fulfilled others.

And those who live well are often thick-skinned and try to take advantage of others.

In fact, some people spend their whole lives looking for themselves, getting rid of the shackles of others, and finding their true selves.

While searching, he hit a wall; while he was aggrieved, he silently wept.

But no matter what, people always have to learn to feel sorry for themselves; it is your respect and kindness to understand people who deserve it; you should learn to defend your own interests for people who are not worthy.

Today's Topic:

Are you a "sensible person"?

(Article with picture source network)