Living according to one's own will is not called selfishness, but honesty, and asking others to live according to his will is selfishness. A person who fights for his own interests is not called selfishness, and it is selfish to harm the interests of others for the sake of his own interests.
The writer La Roche Fuucco once said:
"It is like a stream that fades in the sea, and virtue is lost in selfishness."
Man does not suffer from material poverty, but suffers from poverty of heart, poverty of things for a time, poverty of heart for a lifetime, hopeless, there is no room for change.
So if you meet a selfish man, be sure to believe that he can't stand the marriage. When the passion fades, as his true colors are revealed, it makes you feel more and more cold, harsh and self-conscious.
Understanding is love and an ability, but selfish people do not have love, and they cannot cultivate the ability to push themselves and others through the support of character.
What does it mean that there is no understanding and no pity? He cannot accompany you in your troubles.
Really, meet a selfish man and never fantasize that he can understand you. Selfish men, on the other hand, tend to have five distinct characteristics.
1. Take it for granted.
Can't see the efforts of others, no matter how good you are to him, you also have a natural attitude. If you have a bad one, you will also deny all your good because of this one is not good, and even will be constantly critical of your efforts and your good.
At home, there are always two sentences that can easily negate the women's efforts and sacrifices, often hanging on the lips:
"Aren't you just taking the kids and doing the housework?" "Which woman doesn't come this way, you complain a lot." ”
So selfish people, never acquainted, the better you treat him, the more unmoved he is, he will only ask others to do something for him, without thinking about what he can do, what he can do.
Including coming home from work, seeing that you are too busy to be busy, I will not think of taking the initiative to come forward to help and see what can help.
Strongly enjoy the married life, leave all the parts of the labor and suffering to you, and have not yet been moved.
2. Take care of yourself.
A person who eats enough for the whole family is not hungry, never thinks of others, the last bottle of yogurt in the refrigerator, the last hot dish on the dinner table, always see even if it is their own. Therefore, he only has himself in his eyes, and he will only consider himself in everything, regardless of the feelings of his wife and children.
When you come home from work and just gobble up your own food, under what circumstances can you leave some food for your wife? He especially didn't like to eat. As long as it is what you like to eat, just take care of yourself to eat until you are full and eat until you support.
I can't imagine that my wife is still working overtime, I haven't eaten, I don't care about my wife, and I don't have pity.
If the couple is very busy and too late to cook, he will only think of going downstairs to fill his stomach, not even considering the children. After he had eaten enough, he fell back into bed and slept, regardless of whether his wife and children were alive or dead.
There is always a reason to retort afterwards: "You didn't mention it, how do I know you're hungry too?" ”
3, amplify the hard work.
Men have men's difficulties, women have women's suffering, in front of life, everyone is not easy, but selfish people, always only magnify their own hardships, feel that in this world, only their own hardest, but also always feel that they are the biggest contributor to the family.
So there is often an impersonal attitude, no empathy, which means that he wants to be the center of the world, the center of your life.
Ask you to revolve around him everywhere and in everything, obey him obediently, and when you mention your hardships, take an impatient attitude and deny it with one sentence.
This also means that others cannot communicate with him at all and gradually lose their reciprocal relationships.
It will only amplify their own hardships, that is, a person who cannot communicate, and if he can't say a few words, he will directly lose the interest in communicating.
4, there is no responsibility.
When you do something wrong, you can always find a reason to shift the responsibility to you, do not know how to review and reflect on yourself, and cannot see the part of yourself that needs to grow and change. So selfish men, too, are stingy and even more narrow-minded, so that you can't see hope in him at all.
Always think that everything you do is right, if there is a bad result, you will not generously admit that your decision is wrong, you will only find objective reasons.
Even if you are wrong, you will find various reasons to shirk your responsibilities, cover up your mistakes, and never face your own problems.
If a man does not take responsibility, he is doomed to not be able to become your dependence, and when things happen, he will only blame you for your problems, rather than thinking of protecting you and maintaining you.
In fact, it is also a kind of weakness, which cannot shield you from the wind and rain at key moments, but often pushes you in front of you to shield yourself from the wind and rain.
5. Strong and domineering.
Only the governor is allowed to set fire to the people and not allow the people to light the lamp, and every time you go out, you can wait for him for two hours, but he can't wait for you for two minutes. He is at home, he can do whatever he wants, and he can turn off the lights at what time he wants, but you can't, you have to get his consent.
He can open the refrigerator door with great force, but when he sees that you have opened the refrigerator door with great force, he will immediately attack you and reprimand you.
Whatever you want, he can do it, but if you do it, he can't do it.
I don't like to discuss with you when things happen, I make my own decisions, and I may let you know afterwards, and I may directly deprive you of your right to know. Can't listen to other people's advice, arrogant and conceited, always sure that their decisions are right.
So men who are too selfish always have an impersonal domineering, and everything is too self-centered.
Selfish men are always like this, trouble others still feel taken for granted, hurt others things are also done with righteousness, just ask such a person, who can cooperate with him? Can't support the marriage, including you can't get anything from him, will only become a burden to you.
Divorce is no small thing, but at least you need to know how to get along with such a man, stop having those fantasistic expectations, and admit that he is a selfish person.
Whether he is good or not to you, it seems that more is based on his own mood, when the mood is good, it will be good to you, and when the mood is bad, the nature is completely exposed.
Such a day will make your life difficult and more and more confused. Always put personal interests first, and do not consider the difficulties of others.
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